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Brotherhood of the Harrisburg, Pa. Fire Expo

I just returned from the Fire Expo in Harrisburg, Pa. It was another GREAT trip, full of BROTHERHOOD but not without it’s ups and downs. It was almost like a roller coaster ride … let me try to explain.

To begin with, although Harrisburg is a show Rhett and I have been wanting to attend for some time now, it was not on our schedule this year. As it turned out, Zach Green and our MN8 Fox Fire team really needed us so we began scrambling. I was able to work it out but Rhett wasn’t. Once again this year, I would be traveling without him.

The good news was that my wife was able to take some time off so she could go in his place. Donna has never traveled with us (or me) to one of these shows before so I was excited to get to show her what they are like and everything we do.

Donna and I loaded up the “Blog Mobile” and pointed her North….. we wouldn’t make it far though. About 15 miles into the trip, I stopped at the only stop light we would encounter between the house and Harrisburg. When I stopped, smoke was visible from under the hood, right at the windshield.

She says to me (as if I haven’t noticed it) … “I think the van is over heating”. My reply was simple… “nope”.

“We’re never gonna make it …. this thing is over heating already …. I’m telling ya” she says.

As the light turns green, I tell her … “Honey … it’s NOT over heating … IT’S ON FIRE”. You should have seen the look on her face…LOL. I pulled into the store parking lot just through the light and we get out. I popped the hood and she was rolling. Donna was about to panic and asked me “what are we going to do?”.

Calmly, I told her “calm down … I’m a fireman … look in the cooler and get me a beer” (I had a cooler packed for Expo). Then, her panic turned to anger …. “You’re NOT going to stand here and drink a beer while this van burns up!” LMAO. I didn’t pack or have any water (or an extinguisher) …. I need SOMETHING to put this thing out I quickly explained. Get me a beer and start emptying our luggage.

So there I am …. shaking and opening beers to extinguish the fire. You can imaging the look on Captain Week’s face as Roanoke County’s Wagon 10 rolled in!

Turns out, that while sitting in the driveway since FDIC; a bird had decided to use the engine compartment as a place for nesting. It was turning out to be a GREAT start of our trip!

We arranged for a tow truck and switched vehicles to get back on the road. We were running beside a gasoline tanker as it blew a trailer tire and sat for hours in bumper to bumper stopped traffic due to a crash just south of Harrisburg but we eventually made it to our hotel.

The next morning, the MN8 FoxFire Team would assemble on the exhibit hall floor for the first of three busy days.

Once again, we had Andrew Arnold and the Box Alarm Leather Team in the booth so it was almost like we were twice as busy.

Box Alarm and MN8 FoxFire have teamed up to deliver yet another GREAT product! With Box Alarm’s quality work (and a LIFETIME GAURANTEE), using 8-10 oz bridle leather (tanned in the USA), 3M’s flame resistant reflective fabric combined with MN8′s advanced illumination technology, these two “by firefighters, for firefighters” companies have delivered one of the best radio strap combination packages on the market! We debuted them at FDIC and SOLD OUT! They were just as popular in Harrisburg. To learn more about this new product, CLICK HERE or HERE .

Follow Ironfiremen.com on Face Book. CLICK HERE

I’m always VERY busy giving demos while in the booth but I also get to spend a few minutes talking with hundreds of Brother and Sister firefighters. I think that’s one of the things I like the most about working these shows … meeting and making new friends within the Fire Service.

After the show on Friday, I did just that … met and made some GREAT new friends.

Donna and I got to spend the evening and share a meal with the Brothers and Sisters of Colonial Park Fire Company.

I have to tell ya …. these Brothers and Sisters “get it”.

When Lt. Mike Rodkey invited us out, I wasn’t sure if we could pull it off. When “on the road” we (the MN8 FoxFire Team) usually travel as a team and it’s difficult to drop in and visit a company with a crew of 8-10. On top of that, we had about 4 separate invitations / obligations for that evening and we were already worn out from the long days work in the booth. All things considered, Zach and I decided to split the team and try to cover as many obligations as possible. I was glad I made it to Colonial Park!

My visit started off with a tour of their house and rigs. “Cheech”, a Colonial Park “live-in” member; rolled out the red carpet. You could see the PRIDE in the company and it’s members as he showed me every little detail. Everything was neat, clean and in order …. another example of PRIDE.

I also got to meet and talk with Sam Swartz.

Sam is like the 2nd or 3rd most ACTIVE Senior member of the Colonial Park Fire Company with 50 YEARS OF SERVICE!

Sam showed me around their trophy / display room where they housed one of their earlier pieces along with numerous trophies, photos etc.

He also shared some of their HISTORY and TRADITION with me. I could have listened to his stories all week! IT WAS AN HONOR meeting him and having the opportunity to hear his stories!

After the tour, it was time to eat and just like everything else I had seen from Colonial Park, they went all out.

London Broil on the grill …… and I mean MELT IN YOUR MOUTH London Broil!

There’s something very humbling to me to get to sit down at a table with a group of firefighters and their wives, husbands and family and share a meal. A meal that they paid for out of their pockets and yet decided to share with me. It’s humbling because I know the sacrifices they’ve made to be able to do this. I’ve shared in it. It’s like we’ve known each other all along even though we’ve never met. It’s BROTHERHOOD.

We took a few photos and I got the opportunity to shake each of their hands and thank them before Donna and I had to head out to our next meeting. I would like to say to them once again … THANK YOU!

Find Colonial Park Fire Company on Face Book HERE

Eventually, we made it back to our hotel room for a few hours sleep. Before we knew it, we were back on the floor at Expo. The 2nd day was as busy as the first. Once again I got to meet several GREAT Brothers and Sisters during and between my demos.

After Saturday’s show, we were off to the “Progress Bash”. Although it wasn’t a F.O.O.L.S Bash, it was very much like one.

This Bash was hosted by the Progress Fire Company … just down the road from Colonial Park.

These Brothers and Sisters know how to throw a party!

The place was PACKED and we had a BLAST!!

I wasn’t the only one wearing a kilt (BunkerKilt.com) but I was shocked to see that I was the only one wearing my helmet (Phenix Helmets) . I do have to admit that I wasn’t the best looking one there in a kilt. I can say that for certain because the Girls of Fire House Dolls were also on hand. We took a few pictures together and I even got to review their 2014 calendar … TRUST me … use the link I provided and look them up … yo’r gonna LOVE the new calendar!

Stan Jaworski was also on hand with his camera. Stan is well known for his photos and I’m personally a big fan. Check out some of his pictures from the 2013 Progress Bash HERE and find him on Face Book HERE .

There were also some Pipes and Drums in attendance. I never caught their name nor learned if they were like a “renegade” bunch or not but either way, they did a very nice job! Here’s some video…

Progress Fire Company on Face Book Here

So it was another late night to bed and an early rise for day #3 of Expo. Again we were shocked at just how busy we remained. Just like days 1 and 2, we got to meet so many dedicated Brothers and Sisters.

We also had a very special guest salesman in the booth.

Word got out to 14 year old Ian Swarr that our Team was a little overwhelmed at our first Harrisburg Expo so he came to the Rescue.

Zach and the crew actually got to have dinner with Ian the night before and I thankfully were able to convince him into helping out on Sunday.

Ian is a true inspiration and I’m honored to call him my friend. He even took Donna around the Expo floor to introduce her to all his friends and “show her the ropes”

I’m not sure exactly what they did but they both returned with a sack full of swag and smiles on their faces …lol. If you want to talk about “heart” and meet a GREAT young man… look no further.

Learn MORE about Ian by clicking HERE!

There’s NO WAY I can mention everyone I got to see and spend some time with this weekend. I won’t even try because I know I will leave someone out. There are a few however that I want to give a “shout out” to and I think I know a way to encompass the rest.

Once again, we got to spend some time with the guys from Fire Cam. These guys are AWESOME (even Dave Statter hangs out in their booth). Rob Schield and Cris Burch are another example of guys who “get it”. If you’re not familiar with Fire Cam and their products, YOU SHOULD BE.

This is the ONLY Fire Helmet Camera designed by Firefighters. You can learn more and find them on the web by CLICKING HERE . Also find them on Face Book HERE .

Another name I want to drop is Clayton Murphy of Crosstitched. Clayton was also set up at Harrisburg and spent some time with us. For those of you who don’t know, Crosstitched is the designer and supplier of the IronFiremen / Fire Critic “Hey Brother” shirts. Crosstitched is another Firefighter owned company that needs (and deserves) our support. Clayton is a SUPER guys and ALL of his designs ROCK! Wait until you order some of his shirts … as soon as you see the box he ships in, you’ll know he’s a class act! He also does CUSTOM shirts !

Visit their Web site HERE or find them on Face Book HERE

I apologize for not listing everyone I met and spent time with. It is also nearly impossible to include all the pictures we took. I did put together a small photo album on Face Book. Take a look and feel free to TAG YOURSELF if included in one of the shots. Also, please share and / or tag me if you have a photo of us from Expo. Use the link below to view the album …

Harrisburg Fire Expo Photo Album

I have a few more stories to share with from Expo but I’ll catch them in a later post. There have been a couple LODD’s over the weekend and storms are tearing through the several states leaving huge paths of destruction and several dead. Please keep all those affected including the Brothers and Sisters responding to these incidents in your thoughts and prayers.

Stay SAFE and in House!

Captain Wines

Posted by Iron Firemen on May 21, 2013 • Filed under: fire-rescue-topics, fires, news, Uncategorized, videos • Tagged: Amazing Grace, Black Diamond Boots, brotherhood, building fire, Captain Willie Wines Jr, car fire, Colonial Park Fire Company, Crosstitched, Dave Statter, fire, Fire Cam, Fire Critic, fire video, firefighter, firefighter calendars, firefighter pics, firefighters, Firehouse Dolls, Harrisburg Fire Expo, Lt. Rhett Fleitz, MN8 products, Pipes and Drums, Progress Fire Company, Sexy female firefighter calendars, Statter 911, vehicle fire, Working fire, Zach Green

Forward thinking Chief vs. the “good ol boy system” … who has Public Safety’s best interest in mind for Botetourt County?

3 comments

Botetourt County’s Emergency Services has made our local news again. Just over a year ago, the County hired Carr Boyd to serve as their Emergency Services Coordinator. It was a HUGE debate and met with a lot of criticism.

Several of the County’s Volunteer Chiefs ( two, more so than others ) were very out spoken and did not support the hiring of this position. At the time, it seemed as if their main argument against the position was that the Coordinator would have the authority to assume command of an emergency incident if necessary. One Chief (now former) was even quoted as saying ….

if an emergency services director assumes control of a scene “there are going to be a lot of hurt feelings and busted noses.”

They were using terms like “my scene” and saying things like they didn’t need anyone coming in “here” and telling them how or what to do. There were a lot of egos flying around and it seemed to me that the only people who could get hurt were the ones whom Botetourt’s Emergency Services were there to protect … it’s citizens and visitors.

Here’s a quote from an article I posted back when this all started … “This job is NOT ABOUT YOU or being in “CONTROL”. It’s not YOUR fire. It’s about the people we have sworn to serve and protect. There is no shame in asking for or accepting help. If supplemental paid positions will decrease response times and increase the level of Public Safety in Botetourt County, then I’m all for it and any Chief in his right mind should be as well. Drop the egos and do the right thing guys. DO YOUR JOB … I have family who lives there and I’m depending on you! ALL OF YOU !” Read that entire article in the link below …

VOLUNTEER VS. PAID …RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH !!!

Well, it took just over a year for them to accomplish their goal. I hope they’re happy.

Earlier this week, it was announced that Carr Boyd will resign from the position effective at the end of the month. Some local coverage and video in the links below …

From WDBJ 7

From Roanoke.com

Above, I said it took “them” just over a year to accomplish their goal. By that, I meant the group that opposed the position in the first place…. YEA …. they never went away (well … one of em did). Some are actually still serving as Volunteers within the County (some being Chief and/or Company Officers).

More “hurt feelings and busted noses” for Botetourt County’s Emergency Services.

First off, I’m EMBARRASSED. I’m embarrassed and ASHAMED. There’s a WHOLE lot more to this story than is being told (in the “main stream” media anyway).

I’m embarrassed and ashamed because it seems as if Chief Boyd has been hung out to dry. The only person stepping out in support of him is, the newly appointed (and former) Buchanan Volunteer Fire Chief; John Manspile. In an article on Roanoke.com Cheif Manspile said …

“He’s been exactly what this county needed,” Buchanan Volunteer Fire Chief John Manspile said. “He’s been doing what was practical, what needs to be done. … I can’t see where he’s done anything wrong.”

Chief Boyd has yet to comment publicly on the issue. He’s showing a level of tact and restraint I don’t think I myself possess.

I’ve been looking (waiting) for someone to EXPLAIN. To tell us the details. Why would Chief Carr relocate his family all the way from NC to work a single year and then retire? Because he was FORCED OUT … that’s why (or that’s my opinion anyway).

I’m getting reports (off the record) that some members of the group that initially opposed the position and Boyd’s hiring never gave up their fight.

Reportedly lead by one of the Volunteer Fire Chiefs, who is himself a convicted felon; this group set out to rid the County of Boyd and apparently they have succeeded … BUT AT WHO’S COST?

It’s rumored that the group discovered an issue with Boyd’s training. I say “rumored” because I haven’t confirmed it as of yet. We know he was a Captain (and “Acting” Battalion Chief) in Charlotte, NC before coming to Botetourt County. He must have had some training.

The rumor continues that the group took the issue to the Board of Supervisors and gave the option … Boyd’s resignation or the resignation of several of the volunteers. If that is indeed the case, and how it “went down”; then the Board made the WRONG decision.

Read “Volunteer Leadership” Click HERE

Is this a “paid vs volunteer” or a “good ol boy club” issue? The County has already said that they plan to fill the position. I wonder if the same group opposes that? Or maybe it was just Chief Boyd they opposed? I wonder who they would support for the position …. one of their own?

Someone who wouldn’t have to make the tough decisions. Someone who wouldn’t have to enforce policy? Ahhhhh ….. the ol 2 steps forward, 6 steps back game!

Read some of the comments from Roanoke.com Click HERE

Just recently, the Botetourt’s Board of Supervisors heard the story of Volunteer Companies being unable to staff units while citizens were on scene performing CPR for extended period of time.

Like many other Departments across the Country, Botetourt needs to find new ways to meet the needs of their citizens. They need to find a new way of doing business in relation to providing Emergency Services. Carr Boyd was doing just that.

I’m not sure if the answer is through a Combination , Career or all Volunteer System but I do know they need to become “forward thinking” rather than taking leaps backwards (like it appears they just have). I also feel that whatever direction they decide to go, convicted felons and those who place personal gain over Public Safety shouldn’t be a part of it. The past Buchanan “issues” in Botetourt should have proven that point to the Supervisors.

I have spoken to Carr Boyd recently. Although he would not comment on the current issues, he did share that his main concern at this point is assuring that the members of Botetourt’s Emergency Services are taken care of (career and volunteer members) through this ordeal.

I’m sure he could have “thrown some stones” …. he didn’t. Instead, he took the road of a good Officer … of a good Leader … even after all this, he’s “looking after the men” (and women). Carr Boyd is a CLASS ACT. I wish some of remaining Officers in Botetourt County were more like him.

I wrote this post a couple days ago and have had it awaiting publishing in my que. Apparently, someone was looking over my shoulder as I was typing. I say this because of a comment I received last night. If you missed it, I posted it in a short stand alone post late last night.

Use the link below and take a look… it may help you understand just a little more of some of the challenges (and types of people) Carr Boyd faced over the past year…

Read CHRISTINE PADERICK … STOP READING THIS SITE!

I say instead of the Director of Emergency Services, Botetourt should rid their Department of Felons and allow the professionals (volunteer and career) to do their jobs and perform their duties.

I have a LOT more to say on this issue and will continue to gather the facts for a follow up post.

Stay Safe and in House!

Captain Wines

Posted by Iron Firemen on May 18, 2013 • Filed under: administration-leadership, command-leadership, ems-topics, fire-rescue-topics, funding-staffing, news, Uncategorized • Tagged: Botetourt County Board of Supervisors, Botetourt County Director of Emergency Services, Botetourt County Va, brotherhood, building fire, Captain Willie Wines Jr, Carr Boyd, Christine Paderick, Dave Statter, FDNY, Felon firefighters, Fire Critic, firefighter pics, firefighters, house fire, Lt. Rhett Fleitz, MN8 products, Scott Paderick, Social Media, Statter 911, Troutville VFD, Working fire

Christine Paderick … STOP READING this site!

10 comments

I don’t know who she is or why she’d make this comment. I haven’t posted in a while yet she chose to comment on a post dated from May 3rd and on a topic that never mentioned her.

Maybe her guilt is troubling her? Maybe she thinks that I’m planning a post on the Botetourt County Emergency Manager, Carr Boyd’s resignation. Maybe she thinks I’ll say something as to how someone she’s connected with may have been at the root of or at least in part responsible for part of the problem. I’m not sure of her reasoning but she did not use any of the wording or language that would cause me to delete her comment. I’ll post it.

Just like me, CHRISTINE PADERICK is entitled to her opinion and I’m happy to share it here on my site. I don’t agree with it but it’s hers … just as mine is MINE. Here’s what she had to say…

Christine, if you are indeed “tired” of reading my “BS” …. dont hit the link or type my url into your browser. On a side note, if YOU need someone to talk to … I often share a variety of great links for counseling

Stay SAFE and in House !!

Captain Wines

Posted by Iron Firemen on May 17, 2013 • Filed under: Uncategorized • Tagged: brotherhood, Captain Willie Wines Jr, Dave Statter, Felon firefighters, Felons, Fire Critic, firefighter pics, firefighters, MN8 products, Scott Paderick, Social Media, Statter 911, Troutville VFD

Promotions … “Silly Season” is here, recruitment, retention and more!

5 comments

First off, let me say thank you for the continued support. My last post, “You can’t teach Heart” was very well received and I appreciate it . It’s nice to know that I still have a few readers / followers out there.

I do need to clarify one thing though. I’ve received several e-mails, phone calls, messages etc following that post saying how good it is to have the “old” Captain Wines “back”. They say they are glad I’m past (or over) my grieving etc….and that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

I know I took you folks to some “dark” places over the last 4 months but I felt compelled to do so. I shared with you some of my thoughts’ feeling and lessons learned following my brother’s death by suicide. I tried to be as honest and open as possible.

Just because I’m a little more visible and posting on a more regular basis doesn’t mean I’m “past” or “over” anything. I NEVER will be. There’s a hole in my heart that will never be filled.

There’s not an hour that goes by that I don’t think of Jackson. The reminders are EVERYWHERE and I can’t hide or run from them. I’m slowly learning to embrace them but it’s hard.

I’m fighting depression every minute I’m awake and I still grieve his death. It’s getting better but, it’s been an uphill struggle. I never knew or understood what a horrible illness / disease depression was (is) before the events of December 30th.

I haven’t told ya in a while so I’ll remind you now that we are ALL “climbing”. We are ALL fighting demons of one sort or another. I’ll also remind you that we are NOT alone … there ARE folks out there who know and understand what we are going through and they stand ready to help us through whatever challenges we face.

If you’re like me and need someone to talk to or lean on, PLEASE try one of the links below …. there’s no shame in it. It’s working for me and it can for you too …

The Sweeney Alliance, Firefighter Behavioral Health Alliance, North American Firefighter Veteran Network,

Grief.com, Recover from Grief.com ,

Ok ….lets move on. So around where I work, it’s promotional testing time. That equates to “silly season” for me!

I call it that because everything required to participate in the process and because of all the “jockeying for position” that’s already started.

We will be testing for Lieutenant, 1st Lieutenant, Captain, and Battalion Chief. There will also be a Deputy Chief of Operations appointed due to an upcoming retirement. As far as the other positions, we don’t even know how many are open yet (around here, it all depends on who’s counting).

Promotional testing can be one of the most stressful events of a firefighter’s career. Usually, there’s a huge reading list, hours upon hours of study (additional times away from family), the testing process itself and then the waiting game.

We have a written test to narrow the field of candidates (Lieutenant-Captain) followed by a practical portion. For the Lt. candidates, the practicals are made up of a 10 minute presentation (on the same subject / topic which is announced following the written test), a driving course / evaluation, a pumping evolution and an IMS / Fire scenario.

The 1st Lt., Captain and Battalion candidates will also face a fire / IMS scenario, a “problem employee” situation and a presentation. Battalion Chief candidates will work an “in basket” scenario instead of the presentation. Again …. all very stressful.

Rhett actually took his written test on Wednesday. He take the practicals next week. Being that he is already a Lieutenant, he has the option to test for 1st Lt and / or Captain. He is testing for both.

GOOD LUCK to all of our candidates (at every level). As a Company Officer, I hope you’ll remember to take can of your members. If you do, you’ll have a long and enjoyable career. If you don’t …. LMAO … well lets just say that they can make you life hell.

That brings me to recruitment. I HATE that word. I guess it’s not so much the word as it is how many Departments go about it (“recruitment”). They’re doing it WRONG!!

I’ve always said that if someone has to come out looking for you, and then try to convince you that “this” is what you want to do or who you want to work for … THEN I DON’T WANT YOU. We’re FIREFIGHTERS ….. we deal with lives not files, folders or boxes!

I hear of Departments complaining about a lowered number of applicants all the time. They look at all these “outside” reasons in search for a reason /solution and always miss the issues core.

To me, it’s an internal issue. An issue within that Department. In my opinion, it shows a lack of (or poor) leadership / management (or something along those lines). Either way, I’d bet that the members of that Department are NOT happy. That’s sad because our MEMBERS are our best recruiters and it’s so easy to keep firefighters happy!

Think about it. When the members are happy, they reflect a positive image of their Department. When they’re out in the community and someone asks them about “what they do” or where / who they work for, a happy employee is eager to share that information and does so in a positive manner.

On the other hand, an unhappy or disgruntled employee’s response will most likely be “you don’t want to work here”…. OUR MEMBERS ARE OUR BEST RECRUITERS!

My good friend and Brother Tiger Schmittendorf is one of (if not “the”) our Nation’s top fire recruiters. He’s pictured on the far left in the photo above left (with Me, Rhett and Dave Statter). Tiger runs several web sites worth visiting and if you’re having recruitment issues / problems then he’s the man you want to see.

Visit Fire Recruiter.com click HERE

I’m gonna stop here for now as I’m finding it difficult to focus.

We started our 4-day break Thursday morning and, later that evening; I decided to pull Ironfiremen.com’s mobile headquarters down to the farm.

Once again I find myself setup by the creek and to be honest, my mind is more on the camp fire and a tall tottie than it is on writing right now.

I’ll try to check back in sometime this weekend either here or on my Face Book page.

Follow IronFiremen.com on Face Book click HERE

Stay SAFE and in House!

Captain Wines

Posted by Iron Firemen on May 3, 2013 • Filed under: administration-leadership, fire-rescue-topics, news, Uncategorized • Tagged: Black Diamond Boots, brotherhood, building fire, Captain Willie Wines Jr, Dave Statter, Fire Critic, Fire Recruiter, firefighter, firefighter pics, house fire, Lt. Rhett Fleitz, MN8 products, NFFF, North American Firefighter Veteran Network, promotions, recruitment and retention, Roanoke Fire/EMS, Statter 911, The Sweeney Alliance, Tiger Schmittendorf, Working fire

You can’t teach HEART!

2 comments

I’ve been using that saying for several years now and believe it to be true.

We are surrounded by the absolute best instructors this profession has to offer on a daily basis. They can teach most any subject … strategy and tactics, search and rescue, ventilation, water supply, pump / ladder ops, incident command, high rise firefighting, Mayday, RIC etc. The one thing they can’t teach is “HEART”. You either have it or you don’t.

I’m not sure I can exactly define what I mean by “heart” but it’s at least a passion for “the job” as well as the drive and determination to fulfill the duties expected of us (both on and off the fire ground). It’s the willingness and eagerness to “do the right thing” no matter the cost and to sacrifice for others.

I’ve always said that all I need is a month or two in the same station and/or one working fire to know whether or not a probie (or non-probationary firefighter for that matter) “gets it”. That quickly, I can determine if he or she has “heart”.

You can buy all the newest and latest gear. This gadget, that one and two more of these. You can put this sticker or that one on your helmet, this decal on the back window of your truck. Wear any tee-shirt you want with whatever logo or saying on it.

Give me one set of steps, leading to an attic where fire is rolling down on you while blowing out the eaves and/or dormer.

Push into the fire floor from the adjacent window or the floor above to search without a hose line. Try a little VES (Vent Enter Search) when the floor is rocking.

Crawl down a dark, black, smokey hallway. So dark you can’t see your nose or the lens of your mask. The heat so hot that every breath you take hurts. Reaching out … feeling for anything you can find…. a hole to fall into or a body…. who knows? It’s your first time in this situation …. you’ll wonder how close you’ll be to that body when you find it and what it will look like when you get there.

It’s already hot and getting hotter. Open the nozzle or not? Keep pushing or back out? Someone will understand …. the circumstances just weren’t where we needed them to be … right? Nobody will blame or question you. There are multiple reasons to quit and turn around but only two reasons to keep pushing…. 1.) Someone is (or may be) in there and 2.) this is what you took an oath and signed up for …. it’s your DUTY and job!

Do you have the HEART to push on or will you quit? It’s not easy … if it was, any and everyone would do it. If you don’t (have the heart), I’m sorry…. IT CAN’T BE TAUGHT.

Follow Ironfiremen.com of Face Book Click HERE

How about the EMS call at 3am? The nausea and vomiting for 2 days. The abdominal pain or difficulty breathing despite the fact they smoke 3 packs a day.

Do you get up bitching? Complaining and cursing? Are you mad because you came to work, fully knowing your job was to staff the ambulance ; and they actually asked you to run a call? Did you think there was a call volume “limit” when you joined?

Or, do you realize that although this is your 15th call of the tour, it may be the caller’s 1st emergency. Do you even consider that the person you’r responding to may be a family member of mine. Maybe they are kin to someone you work with…. maybe they are related to you? If you knew that going in, would your outlook have changed? It shouldn’t …. every run should receive the same commitment.

To me, that’s a little bit about what “HEART” is on the job….. it’s doing our job and doing it with PRIDE, HONOR and RESPECT.

There is also “HEART” away from the job and I guess the better word there would be “off duty” because those of you who have “HEART” are never really “off the job”.

Rhett and I are fortunate in that we Know, meet and see a lot of Brothers and Sisters who “get it” … who have “HEART” and/or display, understand and promote “The Brotherhood”. We see examples of it on a daily basis because we know what we’re looking for. The sad part of what we see is that so many Brothers and Sisters look right past it never knowing what they saw.

I could give ya many, many examples but instead, I want to share just a few with ya from our experience at FDIC 2013 (this will by far not be ALL the examples we encountered).

Take the 9/11 Memorial Stair Climb for example.

This is the first time FDIC has had 343 climbers. This year, they actually surpassed that number.

NONE of these climbs are easy. I often see folks in the staging areas and think to myself … “”they are going to have a hard time making 110 stories”. They HAVE to know that going into the climb themselves yet, they register and show up anyway. THEY CLIMB! That’s HEART!

During the climb, you’ll find many who, instead of making a “race” out of it; stay behind to assure every member completes their journey (climb). Anybody can pass the Brother or Sister in front of them and push on to “look good”. It takes HEART to hold back and assure nobody is left behind.

I’m surrounded by Founding and Committee Members of the Stair Climbs. You would think “that” sacrifice would be enough.

NOPE … Brothers like Rhett Fleitz, Brian Brush and Andrew Catron continue to climb. For them, this is their 6th or 7th climb (maybe even more for Brian).

Why? They’ve done their duty. By completing just one, they’ve accomplished more than most. For them (us) it’s not about that. It’s about HONOR. Honoring our fallen.

It’s about SUPPORT. Supporting the NFFF and our fallen’s families.

These Brothers “GET IT”. Not only that, they want YOU to get it as well! They promote the Climbs and sacrifice their time to serve on committees, organize events etc.

I’m not saying you have to “climb” to “get it” but these Brothers DO and that’s why they CLIMB!

I’ll give ya another example…. Kim Fitzsimmons.

Many of you may know Kim from her Face Book Page. Others may know her from her fire ground photography (or her drawings with red crayons…LOL)

Some will know her as a member of the National Firefighter’s Endowment “Officer’s Club”.

Seems like a pretty full plate towards “the Brotherhood”, “getting it” and/or having “Heart” huh? Well, Kim learned of the “Meet-Up” Rhett and I were having at FDIC and she decided she just couldn’t miss it. She drove all the way up to FDIC just to attend our Meet-Up knowing it was sponsored in part by the NFE! She wasn’t “looking” for anything …. she wanted to support and promote the NFE while sharing and spreading The Brotherhood. She made the drive alone … she “gets it”. Kim has HEART!

Here’s another NFE Officer Club Member who “gets it” ….Jill Boden.

Jill attended FDIC all week. We first met her at the FOOLS Bash but have known her for some time now through her Face Book page as well as the Officer’s Club.

She attended the NFFF Stop Drop and Rock and Roll Event as well …. anywhere support for the Brother / Sisterhood was needed, Jill could be spotted.

She “worked the room” of our Meet-Up like a pro. Introducing herself and spreading the word about the NFE, the NFFF and more. Jill also “gets it” and she displayed it all week!

Lori Mercer is another one with “HEART”

Lori is and runs Firefighter Wife.com .

Not only does she look after us …. she’s devoting her time to take care of our spouses as well!

Her mission … “Strengthen, ignite and rescue Firefighter marriages. Nurture our fire wife community with encouragement, support and friendship. To Build up our fire wives in mind, body and spirit to be wise, strong and enduring. To bring an even deeper sense of community to the fire service family” .

Must I say more? OBVIOUSLY … Lori “GETS IT”. I hope you get it too! Use the links below to get a head start …..

Firefighter Wife.com Firefighter Wife on Face Book

Ok …for a final two (but not the only remaining) examples from FDIC, I’ll go back to our Meet-Up.

At the end of the night, a young (or at least “younger”) Brother came up to me. He wanted to buy me a beer (the event was over and the open bar changed to cash bar). He was in the group of members from Tennessee that included Shane Lester and William Banks.

Some wore helmets, others cowboy hats. They were ALL Brothers who obviously “get it”.

Anyway, I already had 2 full beers in my hand (I know…. what are the odds of that…LOL) and it was last call.

I told this young brother that instead of buying me a beer that I obviously didn’t need, to give the $5 he was going to spend to the Sons of the Flag Burn Foundation .

I watched as he walked over to Ryan, Zane, Nathan and Rob Wiedmann and handed them the money. HE HANDED THEM THE MONEY! I can’t tell you how good it felt to see a young member “GET IT”. I hope he understands what (and why) he did what he did. He summed up what our Meet-Up was all about!!

Some many other Brothers and Sisters in attendance that night kept thanking me and Rhett for hosting the event. They kept saying that we were what the Brotherhood was all about and how much they looked up to what we do for the fire service.

I explained to each of them …. Rhett, Shane (NFE), Andrew and I did nothing. We rented a room and bought a bunch of beer.

They …. EVERY Brother and Sister in attendance did so much more. They gave the true display of Brother.

Again I’ll say that I and many others can / could teach you / them to perform most any task required of us in the Fire Service. We CAN’T teach them to sacrifice their time and money to spend time promoting the Brotherhood and supporting organizations worthy of our attention.

YOU CAN’T TEACH HEART!

Stay SAFE and in House!

Captain Wines

Posted by Iron Firemen on April 30, 2013 • Filed under: fire-rescue-topics, firefighting-operations, fires, news, Uncategorized • Tagged: 9/11 Memorial Stair Climb, Andrew Catron, Brian Brush, brotherhood, building fire, Captain Willie Wines Jr, Dave Statter, FDIC, FDIC 2013, FDIC Meet Up, FDIC Memorial Stair Climb, FDNY, FDNYs Bravest, fire, Fire Critic, firefighter pics, Firefighter Wife, firefighters, Fools Bash, house fire, Jill Boden, Kim Fitzsimmons, Lt. Rhett Fleitz, Michael Dick, Model City Firefighter, NFFF, Ray McCormick, Sons of the Flag Burn Foundation, Statter 911, Stop Drop and Rock and Roll

Live coverage of the West, Texas Memorial Service

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View more videos at: http://nbcdfw.com.

Posted by Iron Firemen on April 25, 2013 • Filed under: fire-rescue-topics, in-the-line-of-duty, line-of-duty, news, Uncategorized • Tagged: brotherhood, Captain Willie Wines Jr, City of West Texas, Dave Statter, Fire Critic, firefighters, LODD, Lt. Rhett Fleitz, MN8 products, NFFF, Statter 911, West Texas LODD, West Texas Memorial Service

Supporting West, Texas and gearing up for FDIC

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Support has really been building for our Brothers and Sisters in and around the town of West, Texas following last week’s devastating and fatal blast.

The National Fallen Firefighter’s Foundation has set up a special, National fund for the survivors.

“In light of the tragic event in West, Texas on Wednesday and in cooperation with local support efforts, the National Fallen Firefighters Foundation has established a national fund to accept monetary donations to assist the survivors and coworkers of the fire and EMS personnel who died in the line of duty”.

More about the Fund from the NFFF HERE

NFFF on Face Book HERE

DONATE to the West, Texas Fallen Hero Fund HERE

Tim Smith from the hit Discovery Chanel show “Moonshiners” is hoping his “celebrity status” can help raise funds as well.

When not filming his show, Tim also serves as the Volunteer Fire Chief for the Climax (Va) VFD.

Rhett posted about Tim, the show and him being the VFD Chief in December of 2011. It ended up being his 2nd most popular post on Fire Critic.com for 2011.

Read that post by clicking HERE

Tim made our local news tonight due to his efforts to assist the West, Texas Fire Department.

Chief Smith left Virginia this morning at 09:00 am. They will be traveling down I-85 to Atlanta Georgia and then following I-20 into Texas.

They will be making as many stops as possible along the way to collect donations for West Texas.

They are accepting any and all donations … money, supplies, equipment etc.

If you, your Department or business would like to host Tim and his crew or have them stop at your location to pick up a donation, you can contact them through the Climax VFD site HERE (their itinerary is also listed on that site) .

Click HERE for video coverage from our local news station WDBJ 7

There is also a Memorial Service planned for this Thursday (April 25th) in Waco Texas. Rhett has all the details over on Fire Critic (I’ll include the link) and if they get a live stream out, we will do our best to have it up on both of our sites for those unable to attend in person.

Memorial Service details for the West, Texas fallen

More coverage of the West, Texa explosion including identities of the fallen from the Fire Critic by clicking HERE

Rhett and I will be at FDIC on Thursday but our thoughts will be in Texas. I hope yours will be as well.

We leave out for Indy on Wednesday morning at 7am. We have a couple Brothers riding up with us and a couple more sharing our suite. It’s going to be a GREAT trip.

Our first stop will be at the FOOLS Brotherhood Bash at 5pm Wednesday. It’s always a BLAST and a great way to kick off our trip.

FOOLS Bash event page on Face Book HERE

Thursday, you’ll find us on the exhibit floor spending time between the MN8 FoxFire and Black Diamond booths (Booth #5571 for FoxFire and #2401 for Black Diamond). Be sure to stop by say hello!

Rhett and I are also hosting our very own “Meet Up” at FDIC this year! We’re getting the Brothers and Sisters together for some fellowship and Brotherhood at the Hard Rock Cafe @8:30 on Friday.

Ironfiremen / FireCritic Meetup “event page” HERE

View our complete FDIC itinerary HERE

We shouldn’t be too difficult to find anyway. For some reason, we always seem to stand out in a crowd.

Odds are you’ll find us wearing one of our kilts. Last year, we were sporting our ALT Kilts. This year, we will also be showing off our custom wear from Bunker Kilt!

You’re also likely to find us in our new Morning Pride turnout gear from Honeywell.

We’ll be updating our status on Face Book so you’ll know exactly where we are. Be sure to look us up and say hello. We LOVE meeting our friends, fans and followers … yea … BOTH of ya …LOL.

Follow Ironfiremen.com on Face Book. Click HERE

I’ve gotta catch up on a little farm work tomorrow, wash the Blog Mobile and get packed but I’ll try to get another post up for ya tomorrow night.

Until I get back … stay SAFE and in House!

Captain Wines

Posted by Iron Firemen on April 22, 2013 • Filed under: fire-rescue-topics, in-the-line-of-duty, line-of-duty, news, Uncategorized • Tagged: Alt Kilt, Black Diamond Boots, brotherhood, building fire, Bunker Kilt, Captain Willie Wines Jr, City of West Texas, Climax VFD, Dave Statter, Discovery Chanel, FDIC 2013, Fire Critic, firefighter, firefighter pics, firefighters, Fools Bash, Hard Rock Cafe, Honeywell, house fire, LODD, MN8 products, Moonshiners, Morning Pride, NFFF, Statter 911, Tim Smith, turnout gear, West Texas, West Texas LODD, West Texas Memorial Service, Working fire, Zach Green

Captain Wines and The Fire Critic on Prime Time TV, fire video, FDIC and more!

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Once again I have a lot of catching up to do but this time, it’s not entirely my fault. The server for our network has been up and down over the past several days so we haven’t been able to get a post up. Hopefully, the situation is corrected now and we can get back to business as normal.

So, to catch ya up … it’s been a long week.

We worked the Thursday, Saturday, Monday cycle this week (24hr tours).

Goerge (my Lt) is off on vacation and Boots is still out on sick leave (he’s recovering well). That left just me and our newest member, Jerry Thompson at the station. Instead of calling in OT for the entire shift, the Company was placed out of service and Jerry and I detailed out to fill other vacancies for the day.

Jerry went to “The Green House” … aka Station #3 and I went down to Station #5 and rode the Ladder.

Yea… an Engine Captain on a Ladder. Well, around here; you never know what you may end up doing. I’ve explained it a few times here on the site that due to our staffing etc. an Engine Company can easily be assigned “Truck work” and vice versa.

I’ve also talked about having been assigned to a Ladder a couple times during my career. The truth of the matter is … I LOVE truck work! Especially now that 2 of our Trucks have the added responsibility of performing vehicle extrication for the City (Ladder 5 being one of them).

It was a good day with the Brothers and Sisters at Station #5. That evening, I got an over time man and put Lucky #13 back into service.

Turned out our OT man was none other than Captain Chris Trussler from down at “The Deuce” on B-shift.

Captain Trussler and I go way back….way … way … WAY back actually.

I call him “Lucky”. 1.) Because he’s got a little leprechaun in him and 2.) Because he’s so damn “lucky”.

We were both assigned to Ladder #2 as Privates back in the day (on different shifts). Like many Crusty Old Jakes, there are hundreds of stories involving / surrounding Captain Trussler. I was even involved in a few of em.

I always remember the one about a working fire in the projects near the station. There were reports of people trapped on the second floor and “Lucky” was assigned the search. The Brothers are going to work and here comes Trussler falling /rolling down the interior steps and out the front door. He had a victim. A 350 pound lady wearing her nightgown and a pair of gorilla slippers. They end up in the front yard with the lady on top of him. So a couple of the boys run over to make sure he’s still alive and he tells them … “I got the little one, her sister is still up there!” … LMAO!

Lucky’s a “Good Jake” and we had a BLAST reminiscing over old stories. He’ll be testing for Battalion Chief in the next few weeks and I hope he does well …. I’ll work for him ANY day.

Our middle day turned out MUCH busier. Instead of overtime, they transferred a man from the South Side. Keith Snead from Station #1-A was trading time with a C-shift Brother and drew the short straw. He hadn’t been here 10 minutes before we caught a working fire. Nothing says thanks for working on a beautiful Saturday morning like catching work at 07:30am. Unfortunately, the runs kept coming all day long. The saddest incident we ran was a vehicle fire. Nothing breaks your heart like rolling in on a 1967 Camaro that’s on fire. Here’s some video ….

The car was obviously custom. A good training point from this video … something to keep in your mind is just how custom it was. Even the engine was customized…. so much so that it had Nitrous aka Nitrous Oxide system. Yea …NOS… a 20lb bottle mounted beside the driver’s seat! Good thing Snead got a good knock on the fire.

I’ll let ya know how our Monday tour goes a little later but until then, I have plenty more to share.

To begin with … set your clocks, DVRs, VCR’s and whatever else you have. The Fire Critic, Rhett Fleitz; and I will be on Prime Time TV Sunday night at 7pm (April 28th)! That’s right … Rhett and I will appear on MSNBC’s 100th Episode of “Extreme Caught on Camera”. Check your local listings and be sure to check us out! Here’s the trailer …..

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

If you can’t wait until Sunday night to see us, all you have to do is show up at FDIC. Rhett and I will be heading up on Wednesday and staying until Sunday.

Most of my time will be spent on the exhibit floor with Zach Green and our MN8 Fox Fire family.

This year, our booth will be our biggest yet. So big in fact, that we even invited some friends. Joining us for FDIC 2013 will be Statter911, Box Alarm Leather and Fat Ivan.

Be sure to drop by Booth 5571 to say hello!

You will also be able to find us in the Black Diamond Boot Booth! You may remember that Ironfiremen.com won the “2011 Black Diamond Boot Fire Blog of the Year” contest.

That was a HUGE honor for me regardless of the contest, I’m a fan of Black Diamond Boots. I wear them EVERY DAY on the job. Actually, Rhett and I both wear the X2 Boot in our gear and we LOVE them!

Be sure to stop by Booth 2401 to say hello and try on a pair of X2′s

Visit the Black Diamond Web Site HERE

Find and “LIKE” Black Diamond on Face Book HERE

Find “Product Reviews” of the X2 Boot HERE

The exhibit floor is always exciting but also very busy for Rhett and I.

If you’re looking for a really good time and little more “face time” with either of us, be sure to attend our “Meet Up”.

That’s Right … Rhett and I, with support from Shane Parkins of NFE and others; are hosting our own Meet-Up this year!

Join us on Friday evening, 08:30pm at the Hard Rock Cafe. We’ve created an “Event Page” on Face Book HERE … be sure to stop by!

Find the Ironfiremen / Fire Critic complete Itinerary for FDIC 2013 HERE

We shouldn’t be hard to find. Fools Bash, Exhibit floor, Stop Drop and Rock and Roll, our Meet-Up and the 9/11 Memorial Stair Climb.

Unfortunately, I will not be climbing this year but Rhett will.

I will however continue to support the Climb and the NFFF by registering for the event. I will also be wearing my memory badges while all the other Brothers and Sisters are making their climb.

This year, I will be wearing an additional badge. One of a member who was not murdered on September 11, 2001 but died of suicide on September 5, 2012.

W.D. Patterson was a good friend of mine and a huge supporter of the 9/11 Stair Climbs and the NFFF.

More about W.D’s passing HERE and HERE

Read a Tribute to W.D by Brother Brian Edwards HERE

Register to CLIMB at FDIC by clicking HERE

Rhett and I will be updating you and sharing our FDIC experience throughout the week. Be sure to keep checking back here or on our Face Book pages.

Follow Ironfiremen.com on Face Book HERE

I’ll try to get back to ya Monday night with an update and again on Tuesday before we head out Wednesday morning. As always, thanks for the continued support.

Stay SAFE and in House!

Captain Wines

Posted by Iron Firemen on April 22, 2013 • Filed under: fire-rescue-topics, firefighting-operations, fires, news, Uncategorized • Tagged: 9/11 Memorial Stair Climb, Black Diamond Boots, Box Alarm Leather, brotherhood, building fire, Captain Willie Wines Jr, Dave Statter, Extreme Caught on Camera 100th Episode, FDIC, FDIC 2013, Fire Critic, fire video, firefighter, firefighter pics, firefighters, FOOLS, Fools Bash, Hard Rock Cafe, house fire, Lucas Oil Stadium, MN8 products, MSNBC, NFFF, Statter 911, W.D.Patterson, Working fire, Zach Green

Positional awareness …. where the hell am I ??

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For the followers of mine (yea…both of you) who aren’t “on the job”, the term positional awareness is one we use in reference to knowing “where” you are. We often refer to it as inside a structure or building …or at least on the fire ground. Another term that goes along with it is situational awareness … or knowing not only where you are but what is / can happen around you.

So where am I?? I wish I knew.

It’s an uncomfortable position for me. In the past, even when I’ve been somewhere I shouldn’t be; I at least knew I was there. Now, I’m not so sure. I’m lost.

If any of ya find me, please let me know or just take me home (of course I don’t even know where “home” is anymore).

Obviously, I’m not here (where I have been or where I’m used to being). I haven’t been for 3 months now and I can’t seem to figure it out.

I’ll assume that you guys have … figured it out that is. Obviously, by my lack of postings / presence something is still not right. I also know that you’re most likely tired of hearing me whine and cry … tired of my “softer” side. Many of you have sent e-mails, comments etc excited to see bits and pieces of the “old Willie” and that style of posting back. The honest answer is that I’m just not there yet. I tried to get there but couldn’t…. not yet. At least you haven’t forgotten about me.

There is a TON of material out there and things I want to say / comment on but I just can’t find the energy to sit down and write it out. I can’t find the words. It’s not “flowing” in my mind ….. I guess it’s what they mean by writers block (if you can call me a writer…LMAO).

I’ve been in a fog. Wondering …. aimlessly. Still searching for my answers. Answers I may never find.

Maybe this direction, these type of postings is where I need to be. Maybe I can be of more help to the Brotherhood by sharing these stories than I can of my everyday firehouse life / opinion etc.

I can’t imagine keeping a very big audience along this path but if I can make a difference in just one Brother or Sister’s life, I think it would be worth it.

I don’t know where I’m going yet … hell, I’m not 100% sure of where I’ve been now that I try to put it all into perspective. I think we’ve all been here … it’s just my first trip.

For me, the hits just keep coming. I feel like I can’t keep my head above water. I’m dry but drowning!

Jack’s suicide, my moms cardiac procedure (which turned out way better than expected) and, Boot’s cancer surgery. Everything seemed to hit at once. I’ve tried to be strong … to set an example…strong yet open. It hasn’t been easy. Everyone wants me back but I’m not sure I can get there. I’m not sure how much longer I can hold on to the little sanity I have but I’m trying.

Alison Krauss has several lines in her song “Paper Airplane” that hits home with me … one says …. “And love is hard to measure
hidden in the rain. That’s why you’ll find me…Here all alone and still wondering why. Waiting inside for the cold to get colder…”

Another from the same song is ….“How many days should I smile with a frown? ‘Cause you’re not around with the sun on your shoulders…”

Here’s a video of her singing the song if you’re not familiar with it or her music … I’m a HUGE fan.

Smile with a frown … sound familiar to any of ya?

Now, for me at least; it keeps piling on and I’m faced with even more challenges … more questions, more demons and battles to fight.

Today, I moved Jackson’s things out of dad’s house (that’s where he had been staying since his wife put him out and also where he decided to end his life). I smelt him as I moved every box. I smell him now. It’s was like an avalanche of emotion overtaking me once again.

It still seems like only yesterday to me but I know it’s not. I know this because yesterday, I found myself waiting once again for the phone to ring. I waited but he didn’t make that Easter morning call. I wanted to dial his number but couldn’t. Nothing is as it should be.

I don’t know how dad has done it. How he’s stayed there in the house. Past the birthdays and holidays. He’s got to be hurting as much as me and it’s killing me knowing it.

It’s even difficult for me to be around dad now. Him and Marci both look like and remind me so much of Jackson that it hurts. Worse than that … it suffocates me. I can’t explain it. Is this the life I’m left to live? Alienated from my own family? When will it end? Will it ever? Apparently not…

Thursday, Donna (my wife); will have a lump removed from behind her breast (under her arm). We wont know what it is until they get it out and see.

The procedure is weighing heavy on my mind. She’s staying strong for me and the girls while I’m quietly bleeding out. I’m not sure how much more I can take.

I feel like an old dilapidated barn. Old and worn yet just strong enough to leave you wondering how it’s still standing. I wish I knew. I wish I had it’s strength.

I want to leave this place … to go somewhere … anywhere but here yet I know I can’t. I know all roads will lead me back …. back to my struggles, my challenges, back to the things you cant run from. I’ll stay and fight.

I know there are many of you out there fighting the same battles. Several of you have reached out and spoken with me personally. I’ll remind you once again of the many resources available to us. Resources unique to “public safety”…. resources who understand who we are, where we came from and the challenges we face.

Behavioral Health issues … Grief, Stress, PTSD … issues unique and as personalized as those suffering through them. Issues all of us on the job have faced (most of us anyway). Here are some links for help. Links that will help you begin your journey … friends to guide you down the path… your start to the healing process.

The Sweeney Alliance, Firefighter Behavioral Health Alliance, North American Firefighter Veteran Network,

Grief.com, Recover from Grief.com ,

“At an international conference on Friday, March 1, the NFFF (National Fallen Firefighters Foundation) introduced a new Behavioral Health Model that changes the way the fire service assists firefighters and others on the path to healing. It is based on the concept that no two firefighters will necessarily have the same reaction — not even to the same call”.

“Helping Firefighters Deal with Psychological Stress from Job’s Routine and Extraordinary Events”

Trust me Brothers and Sisters … USE THESE LINKS, the alternatives are NOT where we want to be. How well do you think you understand depression? Find out below …

Depression Quiz

I’ve talked about the stages of grief in a previous post titled “Melt Down”.

They are all experienced differently and in varying order but they are basically Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance, Pain & Guilt, and Reconstruction.

I’d say that the odds are that many of you know someone who is grieving. I’d also bet that you’re not sure what to say or how to act around them. Maybe this link will help ….

10 Best and Worst things to say to someone grieving

As for me, I’ve talked about not being able to eat or sleep. About not being able to keep anything down (on my stomach) and having an irritable bowel. I’ve shared being unfocused and distracted from rational thought, purpose or direction. What we don’t hear a lot about is where these things can lead when left untreated. Anger, the many forms of abuse … domestic, spousal and/or substance and even suicide .

There are many Brothers and Sisters out there battling Grief, Depression and/or PTSD that can’t see their way through or past their suffering. For many, suicide seems their only way “out”. Don’t stand idle and watch these Brothers and Sisters fall. Like many of you have done for me, YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE in their lives as well, in their healing process. Start talking about Behavioral Health in your Department (paid or volunteer, large or small). Use the links I’ve provided and look for more.

The recent events of my recovery are merely an expected bump in the road. I’ve known that a holiday, a random picture, odor, memory etc would bring back a flood of emotion. I’m still searching for my “new normal” and fighting my way back to where I want and need to be. I’ll get there. Thanks again for all the continued understanding and support. I’m still here. I know this is not the post you were hoping / looking for but it’s all I have right now.

Stay SAFE and in House!

Captain Wines

Posted by Iron Firemen on April 2, 2013 • Filed under: administration-leadership, ems-health-safety, firefighter-safety-health, news, Uncategorized • Tagged: Alison Krauss, Allison Krauss Paper Airplane, brotherhood, building fire, Captain Willie Wines Jr, Dave Statter, Depression, Fire Critic, Firefighter Behavioral Health Alliance, firefighter pics, Firefighter stress, Firefighter Suicide, firefighters, grief, house fire, Lt. Rhett Fleitz, NFFF, North American Firefighter Veteran Network, stages of grief, Statter 911, Suicide, The Sweeney Alliance, Working fire

A little “old school” Captain Wines catching up…

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I hope everyone enjoyed their St Patrick’s Day weekend … I know I did.

Our Parade was held on Saturday but I was working. I had pulled my tour on Friday and then covered for Rhett until about 1pm on Saturday. I think he had some kind of dance class or something.

Time lapse video and more on Roanoke’s St Paddy’s Day Parade. Click HERE

It looks like I missed a good parade but I did make it downtown to raise a pint or two later that evening. I had a BLAST.

Most every bar / pub was full of Brother and Sister Firefighters. Salem, Roanoke County, Botetourt, Bedford and more …. the Valley’s Fire Service was represented well. I seen some really cool shirts and even a few kilts. I had some GREAT conversations and was able to see some Brothers I hadn’t in some time. It felt good to be “out” again.

A Brother from a nearby Department took the opportunity to ask for some of my thoughts concerning RIT / RIC (Rapid Intervention Teams / Crews). Apparently, this Brothers Department is putting together their first RIT “bag” and developing SOP’s / SOG’s concerning the formation and activation of RIC.

The hot topic quickly became how a RIC should be equipped…. what tools they should carry. More specifically, he wanted to know should the RIC have a charged hose line? My reply … NO.

There is a Department very close to me who’s SOP’s say that RIC must have a charged line but I disagree with that philosophy.

I reminded this Brother that the “R” in RIC stands for “Rapid”. Advancing a charged line will only slow the crew down.

An additional line(s) should be put into place in an effort to protect the downed firefighter(s) and the RIC but not by the RIC themselves. In addition, if there’s active fire; containment / extinguishment efforts should continue until all downed members are removed from the structure.

I explained that the tools etc they choose to carry should be dictated by the construction and type of structure involved in the fire (as well as by the number and skill level of members assigned to RIC). Yea … “skill level”. I don’t want a bunch of “yard breathers” or screw ups assigned as RIC. Think about it…. if you “go down”, who would you want coming to get you?

Anyway, it was a good conversation and I told him I’d put it out here to hopefully generate some additional comments. Leave us your thoughts / comments …. what tools do your RIC carry? Do they take a charged line?

Follow Ironfiremen.com on Face Book. Click HERE

Just in time for St Patrick’s Day, I received an AWESOME gift all the way from Ontario.

My good friend and Brother Mitchell Brown sent me this beer Stein!

Mitchell wrote me a little while back to ask if I drank beer …. LMAO ….yea! Next thing I know, I get a box in the mail.

You may know Mitchell or have seen some of his work on Face Book from over at “Smoke is Showing … Fire Ground Photography”. You can more of his photos on his web site by CLICKING HERE .

I also recently received the two framed pictures shown with the stein. Another good friend, Brother and GREAT photographer, Nate Camfiord sent them to me. Nate actually took the photo of me and Rhett (left) while Baron Mosley took the shot of me and Hunter of TEAM HUNTER. THANKS for thinking of me Brothers and for the AWESOME gifts!

I’ve actually been trying to get out of the house more and more each day.

A few weeks back, Rhett made the trek over the mountain and we paid a visit to my local VFD … Roanoke County Fire and Rescue Station #4

Firefighter (and Brother) Joe Francisco (2nd from right) has invited me out to the station on several occasions. For one reason or another, I haven’t been able to make it. I’m glad we made / took the time.

What a GREAT crew! These Brothers and Sisters meet at least once a week for some type of training and to eat together. Yea …. they cook and eat together on their training / duty night. BEAUTIFUL!

THANKS for the invite, the station tour and the Brotherhood shared that night. Thanks also for your dedication and service …. keep up the good work!

Speaking of Rhett, my little buddy / sidekick has apparently “caught feelings”. There’s actually a lot of that going around these days.

It seems as if a lone firefighter has messed up a “good thing” here in The Noke.

For some time now, Golds Gym has allowed our Firefighters to workout and use their facilities free of charge…. an AWESOME gesture that many of our members took full advantage of.

Indications are that a single member went overboard and abused Gold’s generosity. Rumor has it that this member was bringing multiple family members (or non-firefighter friends etc) to the gym under the free access. This lone member cost several others and Rhett is pissed!

“I only hope that I don’t find out who messed it up for us until after I cool off. Whoever it was just cost me about $400 a year. Not only that, but they gave me and my department a black mark.”

Read his entire post on the incident by clicking HERE.

For those of you who don’t know, Rhett has been on a strenuous workout and diet program for some time now. He’s bulking up for some kind of bikini contest or something that he entered with his wife (some details are in his post linked above).

It makes no sense to me. If I were him, instead of prancing around up on the stage in a speedo, flexing my muscles, I’d want to be out in the audience watching my wife.

I’d be sitting there with a beer when Becky comes out telling everyone “that’s my wife” and how I had to watch her try on 50 bikinis before she picked that one! LMAO

I also don’t understand all the fuss about Golds Gym. We have weights in the stations. Why can’t he just do like I do?

A few weeks on my routine and he could have a body like mine… yea … he could look this good too! LMAO

All kidding aside, Rhett has shown a level of focus, dedication and discipline that we all should have. He has not faltered or strayed (not even a single beer!).

His members were bragging to me just last Saturday how despite not eating with his members (being “in the kitchen”) due to his diet, he still cooks and runs the kitchen for them. He just has to prepare two meals vs one…. twice the work. That Brothers and Sisters is a good Officer (taking care of his members despite his needs / desires) … it’s Brotherhood and his members recognize and appreciate it.

He knows I’m just busting his balls a little with the jokes. I hope he knows how proud I am of his accomplishments and the example he’s setting for the rest of us (no matter the outcome of his bikini contest..LOL) … keep up the STRONG WORK Brother!

So there’s an attempt at an “old school” type of Ironfiremen.com post. Many of you have been missing and looking for em. Hope you enjoyed it … I’ll give ya more soon.

Stay SAFE and in House!

Captain Wines

Posted by Iron Firemen on March 19, 2013 • Filed under: fire-rescue-topics, firefighter-safety-health, firefighting-operations, news, training-fire-rescue-topics, Uncategorized • Tagged: Beer Steins, brotherhood, building fire, Captain Willie Wines Jr, Catawba Volunteer Fire Department, Dave Statter, Fire Critic, firefighter fitness, firefighter pics, firefighters, Golds Gym, house fire, Hunter Mosley, Lt. Rhett Fleitz, Mitchell Brown, Rapid Intervention Crews, Rapid Intervention Teams, RIC, RIT, Roanoke County Fire and Rescue, Roanoke County Fire and Rescue Station #4, Smoke is Showing, Smoke Is Showing Fire Ground Photography, Statter 911, Working fire

Survivors

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Someone called me that the other day …. a “survivor” (as in a suicide survivor). I’ve never thought of it that way but it actually makes sense.

It’s been 75 days since my brother Jack made the decision to end his life and I’m still struggling through the loss. I’m still going through the grieving process and fighting depression.

I don’t know if I’m a “survivor” but I am surviving ….. day by day.

It’s been a rough few months and the past couple of weeks haven’t made it any easier. Two of my family members have had major surgeries or procedures and the LODD (Line Of Duty Death) of Scott Morrison on March 3rd hit close to home. Scott was a good friend and huge supporter… professionally and personally.

That word … “survivor” keeps popping up in my head…. I guess there are a lot of us.

Scott didn’t survive his fatal heart attack but his friends and family will.

There were (are) so many left behind that have to find a way to keep living… to keep moving forward with their lives despite their search for the answer to their question “why?”.

Scott is survived by a wife (Jessica) and two children (Kaitlyn and Sean). He is also survived by his Knotts Island Fire Department family (he was their Chief) as well as by “The Brotherhood”, and friends and family from all across the Nation. Scott left many survivors.

Rhett had some links and more on Scott’s death over on Fire Critic.com. Click HERE to read that post.

I didn’t attend the funeral. I had planned on it and intended to but I couldn’t. I couldn’t attend another funeral, see another casket or loved ones hurting. I wasn’t strong enough … I wish I was and regret not going.

Read Rhett’s post “Go to the funeral …You OWE it to them” from back in June 2011

I was already on the road the weekend of Scott’s funeral. I was in Charlottesville, Va at the University of Virginia Medical Center.

That Friday, my Senior Firefighter; “Boots” underwent some major surgery.

He’s actually been fighting for some time now. I haven’t talked about it here out of respect for his privacy but he’s given me permission to mention it now.

Boots had cancer …. now he doesn’t.

Now, he is a “SURVIVOR”.

With 25 years on the job, Boots is a GREAT Firefighter. More importantly he’s an even better person! He’s the type of man who is always giving and never taking. Always putting others first … never thinking of himself.

He didn’t deserve this battle but he’s quietly fighting it.

I’ve always known Boots was a fighter. I’ve always known he was strong … I just never realized how strong. Pushing down hallways or making rooms is one thing …. this is something different. Something much, much different.

They first tried radiation and he continued to report for duty. Many days, he left the station for his treatment and then returned for the remainder of the tour.

The radiation didn’t work and surgery was the only remaining option. On Friday, he spent over 5 hours in surgery. His recovery will be much longer.

For our local Brothers and Sisters, he is unable to accept calls at this times and is respectfully asking for no visitors. You can send him messages through any of my accounts (click for my e-mail or Face Book) and I will see to their delivery. If you’d like to send a card or something you can bring it by or mail it to the station (in attention to “Boots”) and I’ll get it to him. Message me here if you need the address or feel free to give me a call.

Tonight’s evening news reminded me of more survivors …. our Brothers and Sisters, as well as the many residents; of Breezy Point (and other areas affected by Super Storm Sandy).

These Brothers and Sisters not only lost $20,000 in band equipment, many lost their homes and personal belongings.

It’s not stopping them. They continue to play and will be on 5th Avenue tomorrow for the famed New York St. Patrick’s Day Parade. They too are “survivors” and they’re doing it so that others may too (survive).

“It’s good emotionally for us to be out there and get a sense of normalcy,” said Williams. “We’re still here. We’re still doing what we’re doing and we will get past this terrible devastation.” (a quote from Band founder and Pipe Major Terrence Williams at nydailynews.com)

Read the entire story from the Daily News by clicking HERE

I guess the point I wanted to make tonight is that there are “survivors” all around us. Many that we may have never noticed or thought of as survivors but they are there. I’m one of them. Despite my lack of postings / social media presence, I am surviving…. maybe you are too.

Read my post “We are all Climbing“

Instead of writing, I’ve spent the time with family (of course you … my readers / followers are family as well). I apologize for for not keeping you posted etc and want to thank all of you for the messages, e-mails etc sent checking on me.

Although I’ll never be the “same” again, I will find my “New Normal” . I’ve put my “boots” back on and now, I just need to get my focus back (click the bold quotations for previous related posts). I’m getting there. Thanks for hanging with and helping me throughout this journey…. I couldn’t do it without you!

Stay SAFE and in House ….

Captain Wines

Posted by Iron Firemen on March 15, 2013 • Filed under: ems-health-safety, firefighter-safety-health, in-the-line-of-duty, line-of-duty, news, Uncategorized • Tagged: 2013 LODD, Black Diamond Boots, Breezy Point, brotherhood, cancer, Captain Willie Wines Jr, Dave Statter, emotional health, FDNY, Fire Critic, Firefighter cancer, firefighter emotional health, firefighter pics, firefighters, house fire, Knotts Island Volunteer Fire Dept, LODD, Lt. Rhett Fleitz, NFFF, NY Daily News, NY St Patrick's Day Parade, Pipes and Drums, Roanoke Fire/EMS, Scott Morrison, Social Media, St Patrick's Day Parades, Statter 911, Super Storm Sandy, survivors, Todd Harris, Working fire

Opening up

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For those of us “on the job”, it’s a fairly common term.

We use it when talking about forcing entry into a structure or cutting a ventilation hole in the roof. Sometimes it’s even used for vehicle extrication (using the “jaws of life” to cut open a car).

More often than not, it’s a “Truckie” term ( a firefighter assigned to a Ladder truck) although sometimes, due to today’s staffing issues; an Engine Company can be assigned these tasks.

I’ve been thinking about “opening up” and the various meanings of the term a lot here lately …. as related to the job and emotionally.

Today, I’m working an extra shift. I’m paying back a Brother (Tim Cady) who worked a day for me last week.

I’m pulling the tour at Station #1 (aka “The Big Show”) on A-shift. I’m riding the seat of the Ladder.

It’s a brand new Pierce, 100′ tiller and with a price tag of 1.2 million, she’s a sweet ride.

I spent my younger years in the Department assigned to a Ladder ….. it was good, honest work. I’ve learned a lot since then. Truck work made me a good fireman. I’d like to think I’m older and wiser now but some will argue that.

I’ve been assigned to an Engine Company since I made Captain back in 2000. On the Engine, I’m thinking about size ups, water supply and getting to the fire.

Riding the Ladder, my thought process has to change just a bit. Today, I’m thinking about placement, forcible entry, search, rescue, ventilation, salvage, overhaul and even extrication.

“Opening up” is a priority for me and the A-Shift crew today. Opening up so so the Engine guys can get on the fire. Opening up to ventilate. Opening up to make our searches or opening up vehicles for extrication purposes.

The rig I’m riding is perfect for the job. It’s a 1.2 million dollar tool box. Everything we need to do our job … to “open up” is stored away nice and neat inside her.

It sounds difficult but it’s not. It’s all we know … it’s what we do. The other type of opening up however … the emotional opening up … that’s not so easy.

My absence from postings and social media has been pretty obvious lately. In a recent post, “Climbing Out”; I shared with you that I am just reaching the “depression” stage of my grief (or PTSD) and it’s been a difficult journey.

The honest answer is that I just haven’t felt like writing. I still can’t seem to focus or get motivated.

I had the chance to travel up to Long Island New York last week for their Fire, Rescue and EMS Mega Show.

I got to spend the weekend with my MN8 FoxFire family. I call them “family” because they are … it was an easy decision to go.

I thought it would be “A Needed Distraction”.

In some ways, it was. I was hoping it would open some doors for me and it did …. it also slammed a few in my face.

Most of you know that Rhett (The Fire Critic) and I very seldom travel without the other but he was unable to make this trip.

Not wanting to drive alone, I figured I’d ask my sister, Marci; to tag along.

If nothing else, we’d get to spend the weekend together and that’s never a bad thing (or it shouldn’t be anyway). She was excited! We both were.

What I didn’t figure on was how emotionally difficult it would be for me (and maybe her too).

She reminds me so much of Jackson. I’ve never looked at or thought of her that way.

She looks like him. She acts like him. Her mannerisms. How she uses her hands when she talks, how she crosses her legs. How she talks. Little things but everywhere I looked, every time I turned around, she reminded me of Jackson and it breaks my heart. My stomach stayed in knots … that “sick” feeling all over again … the hurt.

I may have the same affect on her. Everyone always said that we all looked exactly alike (dad, me, Jack and Marci). I’m sure Dad sees Jack in us and I know it hurts. So here’s another door I’ll (we’ll) have to figure out how to “open up”. I’ve got to learn to be around things (including people / family) that remind me of Jack. I need to figure out how to make these “reminders” trigger the good memories and not rekindle my pain and sorrow.

I’m not sure how to do it. How to open this door.

I don’t think it’s one that can be “forced”. I think I’ve been doing too much of that lately … “forcing” the issues.

Today is two months since Jack took his life. Everyone is still asking “how” I am … how I’m “doing”.

My reply has become standard … what everyone wants to hear. I’m “ok”. I’m “hanging in”. Making it “day by day” or “one step at a time”.

I’m not so sure that’s 100% true. Click that photo to the left. Do you ever hide your true emotions with replies like that? Are you telling those around you what they “want to hear” or how you’re truly feeling?

I have to admit again that “opening up” here on the blog (as difficult as it has been to do) has been therapeutic. I think it’s been my best therapy so far. I wasn’t so sure in the beginning.

“Opening up” for all my readers to see was a huge decision for me. I wasn’t sure I even could (or should for that matter). I’m glad I have.

While in Long Island (and many times before, via e-mails etc) several Brothers and Sisters approached me with not only sympathy and condolences, but with THANKS as well. They actually thanked me for sharing my story. I don’t think I was expecting that.

Some say it’s uplifting, a source of inspiration and that it’s even helped them through their own struggles with grief. Others say they miss the “old Willie” and that they are patiently awaiting the return of my “regular” postings while they understand and support my latest directions.

I met several GREAT Brothers and Sisters while in Long Island but one in particular will always stand out in my mind.

A true BROTHER and Captain Daniel Purcell of the Scarsdale Fire Department paid me a VERY special visit. He said he has been following my site (and Rhett’s) for a while now. When he seen I would be in Long Island, he had to come meet me.

We had a GREAT conversation. I wont share the details but it was very humbling. He brought gifts and even asked about the Buckaroo. I don’t think he was even interested in the show …. just delivering his message to me. THANKS AGAIN CAPT ! I hope you know how much that visit meant to me.

If it helps you to know, I’m not the only one talking about stress and “Behavioral Health” these days. “At an international conference on Friday, March 1, the NFFF introduced a new Behavioral Health Model that changes the way the fire service assists firefighters and others on the path to healing. It is based on the concept that no two firefighters will necessarily have the same reaction — not even to the same call”.

Learn more about what they’re doing / saying in the links below ….

“Helping Firefighters Deal with Psychological Stress from Job’s Routine and Extraordinary Events”

Life Safety Initiatives

And once again I’ll add my standard links / resources for grief, stress and PTSD …

Grief.com, Recover from Grief.com , The Sweeney Alliance,Firefighter Behavioral Health Alliance, North American Firefighter Veteran Network

Stay SAFE and in House!

Captain Wines

Posted by Iron Firemen on March 2, 2013 • Filed under: administration-leadership, command-leadership, ems-health-safety, fire-rescue-topics, firefighter-safety-health, firefighting-operations, news, Uncategorized • Tagged: brotherhood, Buckaroo, building fire, Captain Willie Wines Jr, Dave Statter, emotional health, Fire Critic, Firefighter Behavioral Health Alliance, firefighter health and wellness, Firefighter mental health, firefighter pics, firefighters, grief, house fire, ladder ops, Long Island Fire Rescue and EMS Mega show, Lt. Rhett Fleitz, mental health, MN8 products, NFFF, North American Firefighter Veteran Network, Roanoke Fire/EMS, Scarsdale Fire Department, stages of grief, Statter 911, The Sweeney Alliance, Willie Wines Jr, Zach Green

A needed distraction …

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I’m gonna try getting out again for a little while. I’ll be heading North to attend the Long Island Fire, Rescue and EMS Mega Show on Feb 23rd and 24th. I think it will make for the perfect “distraction” from everything else going on in my life.

I’ll be up there with my MN8 FoxFire family working the booth. I’m not sure what our booth “number” is but we’re never hard to find. We’re the guys with the “glow in the dark” stuff and there’s usually a huge crowd gathered around …. look for us and stop by to say hello if you’re at the show.

I feel like it’s going to be a good trip…. I know it’s a much needed one for me.

As far as the show / booth goes, we’re bringing some new products with us…. our newest actually.

MN8 FoxFire has started making 1 x 3 inch helmet “bars” (as opposed to tetrahedrons) for those of you not wearing a leather helmet (of course we’ll have plenty of our tetrahedrons available as well).

In true firefighter fashion, the bars have proven to be useful in other applications as well …. be sure to drop by and check em out…. I know you’ll love em!

We’ll have all of our other great products on hand as well …. Helmet Bands, Equipment bands, Grip Wrap, Epoxy, Tee-shirts, hats etc. and I’ll be on hand to give ya a personal demo. If you’re not familiar with our Products, visit our Web Site HERE or find and follow us on Face Book HERE .

We’re also going to have a special guest / visitor in the booth with us this weekend. My little sister, Marci; is gonna make the ride up with me !

EASY fellas…. EASY. Like I said … she’s my SISTER.

I’m not gonna call her a “booth babe” but she will be hanging out at the show with us. Be sure to to say hello and give her a chance to tell ya how awesome she thinks our product and the entire MN8 FoxFire team is.

We’ll be leaving out first thing in the morning (Thursday) and arriving in Long Island sometime late evening.

Our travel route will take us straight up I-81 from Roanoke to I-78 to I95 and the Lincoln Tunnel (most likely). If you’re on the way and wouldn’t mind a visit, just let me know … we LOVE stopping by and visiting Firehouses when we travel (who knows, you may even make the pages of Ironfiremen.com). Marci and I both will be checking and updating Face Book as we travel so hit us up if you want us to drop by and / or meet up.

Follow Ironfiremen.com on Face Book HERE

We’ll be staying at the Sheraton on Motor Parkway in Hauppauge, Long Island. We’ll be looking for something to “get into” so if you’re close by or have any good suggestions, let us know. I know we’ll head into the City on Friday sometime (or maybe just one evening) but we’re flexable.

I think this trip will be just what I need to get back in the swing of things.

It’s gonna feel good to be back in New York, in my kilt and working. I’m excited! Hell, just being able to wear my kilt will make the trip worth while (of course I’ll wear my kilt ANYWHERE).

Wearing it around the farm draws too much attention (it distracts the cows …LOL). I had the chance to slide back into it down in Florida for 2013 Fire / Rescue East but I really wasn’t “there” yet. This trip feels more “normal” … like it should be.

The only thing that will be missing on this trip will be my “little buddy” …. the “Buckaroo #2″ … aka Rhett Fleitz (The Fire Critic). Yea …. once again, Rhett will be unable to make the trip. He’s afraid the hotels gym wont meet his needs / specs.

I’ve nicknamed him “WTA” (While Tony Atlas).

You see, Rhett’s been on a STRICT diet and workout program lately …. he’s “bulking up”.

He’s been drinking all the “muscle juice” he can find. Eating egg whites laid by a hen with only 3 tail feathers who sits on her nest facing east.

For lunch, the leaf of lettuce in his salads was grown on a glacier at the base of Mount Everest.

For dinner, a single green bean, uncooked and grown in only the purest of soils.

For desert, he can down a 12 pack of creamy, delicious probiotic Activia yogurt faster than the cookie monster can eat a sleeve of Chips Ahoy. Of course he can “snack” on protein bars and such as long as he just eats the cardboard wrapper they’re contained in.

You see, Rhett in preparing to enter his 1st bikini contest …. no kidding ! A BIKINI CONTEST!

His wife Becky has been training for over a year now to participate in her first fitness / figure / bikini contest. She doesn’t need the training … she’s already HOT (blind … but HOT ..LOL). Well, Rhett decided he’d support her by being be her side in her endeavor … as in RIGHT by her side.

He wrote about it in a post titled ”THE CHANGE BEGINS – TRAINING AND DIETING FOR A GOAL“

In all seriousness, Rhett’s been VERY disciplined in sticking to his diet / workout.

He’s sticking to it and it’s paying off …. HE LOOKS GREAT (although still not as good as Becky).

What he doesn’t realize is that like everything else in his life, he STILL wont surpass Dave Statter!

As hard as Rhett is trying, Dave does double the effort by accident. It just come natural to him and once again, “Fire Boy” is left playing “catch up”.

LMAO …. all kidding aside, Rhett has some family obligations keeping him from making this trip. We have PLENTY more scheduled for 2013 so it wont be long before we’re back on the road, together again.

So, I’ll try to keep ya posted as much as possible throughout the weekend. Once again, if you’re on our route or will be attending the show, be sure to let me know so we can meet up. Until I get back to ya ….

Stay SAFE and in House!

Captain Wines

Posted by Iron Firemen on February 20, 2013 • Filed under: fire-rescue-topics, news, Uncategorized • Tagged: Alt Kilt, brotherhood, building fire, Bunker Kilts, Captain Willie Wines Jr, Dave Statter, Fire Critic, firefighter, firefighter fitness, firefighter pics, firefighters, house fire, John Deer, Long Island Fire Rescue and EMS Mega show, Lt. Rhett Fleitz, MN8 products, Statter 911, Working fire, Zach Green

Climbing out ….

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The good news is that I’m back in my “boots”. I’m back in bunker gear and pulling regular tours.

The bad news is that I’m still not 100% and I know I never will be again. I’m still working through the grieving process and searching for my “new normal” (read my previous post “Searching for a New Normal” by clicking HERE) .

In another previous post (“Melt Down”) , I told ya about the “stages of grief” and how grief is as individual as the person suffering through it. We don’t necessarily go through the stages in order and by no means in the same way.

I’m currently working through the “depression” stage (and, I believe; suffering through PTSD).

I was expecting it but have never fully understood exactly what “depression” was. I’m learning the hard way.

My thoughts continue to wonder with every waking moment and it’s difficult for me to focus.

I still can’t eat. I just don’t have an appetite … I’m not hungry. When I try to force myself to eat, I throw it back up so I figure why bother.

I’m sleeping some at night now but I’m not REALLY “sleeping”. I’m tired all the time and can’t motivate myself to get out and do anything. I try to make myself go “somewhere” or do “something” but I don’t. I know I need to.

I haven’t even been able to write (evident in my recent lack of postings and absence from Face Book).

I’m not getting along well with others … I just want to be alone.

All these things seem so petty and easy to fix but they’re not.

That’s the hardest part for me. I know what’s happening and what I need to do ….. I just can’t muster the energy or motivation to get it done.

I have to start climbing my way out of this hole … I thought I have been but it doesn’t feel like I’m making much progress. I can’t stay here (like this) forever.

One of the folks I’ve been seeing offered a prescription for anti-depressants. It’s not for me. There’s a small part of me that almost took her up on it just so I could learn for myself (and share with you folks) if they (the pills) “really” work or not. Unfortunately, I’m not the “pill” taking kind ( I hardly even even take an aspirin) so I won’t be able to tell you “first hand” about anti-depressants. I can tell you that depression is REAL . It’s an illness that can be crippling.

I see a lot of it in the firehouse for one reason or another. Not just in situations like mine (the loss of a loved one) but also over financial issues, marital problems etc. If you want to learn more about depression and take your “Depression IQ quiz”, take a minute and CLICK HERE .

The best thing for me has been talking about it. Getting “it” out of my head and off my chest. I’ve wrote about them a lot here lately but once again, I want to share with you some folks who you CAN TALK TO. People who understand and that do MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

These folks are not just for you or me either. They are there for our Brothers and Sisters as well and it’s up to us to let them know that help is available. PAY ATTENTION … look around you. If someone in your company, your Battalion, Department or whatever is needing help, point them in this direction. You know … firefighter “so and so” whos wife just left him. Ol “what’s his name” from Engine whatever who just took a 3rd mortgage out because he lost his 2nd job. That S.O.B on the Ladder who we all know has been drinking too much …. all these Brothers have someone to turn to. Let them know before it’s too late. Here are the links ….

Grief.com, Recover from Grief.com , The Sweeney Alliance,Firefighter Behavioral Health Alliance, North American Firefighter Veteran Network

I had a bad day yesterday. Like most everyday, there’s always something that will remind me of Jackson.

I pulled a tour Saturday (we work 24hr shifts) and when I got home yesterday morning, the Buckaroo was waiting for me. It was 8am , he missed his “Paw-Paw” and wanted to play.

He got his motorcycle toy out. It’s like the old Evil Knievel wind up toy. If you’re a boy and anywhere near my age (44), I’d bet you had one.

I showed him how to use some books / magazines to make a ramp so we could make some jumps down the hallway. It was just how me and Jack did it when we were kids.

I could see us like it was just yesterday. Then the thought hit me (as it always does in situations like this) …. I wanted to call Jackson and tell him what we were doing. He would LOVE it! Knowing that me and the Buckaroo were doing exactly what he and I did as kids. I know he’d remember our ramps … our jumps…. fighting over who went next…. he’d understand and know EXACTLY what we were feeling / doing. He’d have that unforgettable smile on his face just thinking about it.

I’ll never get to make “those” calls again … not to Jackson and it’s killing me. This grief … the depression…. it keeps knocking me down but I won’t let it keep me here.

Like I said in the beginning of this post, I have to start climbing my way out of this hole.

“CLIMBING”…… Seems I wrote about that one time …. back in July of 2011 actually in a post titled “We are all Climbing” (Take the time to hit the link and read that post … I think you’ll find it worthwhile). Stairs, ladders or whatever obstacle, it seems we all are indeed “climbing”.

Me? I’m gonna find my way out …. I’m gonna find that “new normal” because I’m going to keep climbing …. it’s all I know to do.

I’m gonna start by getting out of town again. I’m going to head up north and spend a little time in NYC and out on Long Island.

I’m going to attend the Long Island Fire, Rescue and EMS Mega Show on Feb. 23rd / 24th. I’ll be working the booth with my MN8 FoxFire family but I’ll also be doing what I love best … meeting, spending time with and talking to all the Brothers and Sisters in attendance. I think it will be just what I need to get “moving” again …. to “re-engage” and get “back in the game”.

I’ll get ya more details in the next day or so …. until then, thanks again for all the support. Thanks too for allowing me to share all of this with you …. I LOVE YA ALL!

Stay SAFE and in House!

Captain Wines

Posted by Iron Firemen on February 18, 2013 • Filed under: administration-leadership, ems-health-safety, ems-topics, fire-rescue-topics, firefighter-safety-health, news, Uncategorized • Tagged: 9/11, 9/11 Memorial Stair Climb, Baltimore, Buckaroo, Captain Willie Wines Jr, Captain Wines, Depression, emotional health, Evil Knievel, FDNY, FDNY Rescue 1, Fire Critic, Firefighter Behavioral Health Alliance, firefighter health and wellness, Firefighter mental health, Firehouse Expo 2011, Fox Fire, grief, Jack Wines, Joe Schmoe, Joey Angelini, Joseph Angenlini, Kevin Totten, Kevin Tottin, Long Island Fire Rescue and EMS Mega show, mental health, MN8 FoxFire, MN8 products, NFFF, North American Firefighter Veteran Network, Paul Combs, Report on Conditions, Rescue 1, Rescue me, Rhett Fleitz, September 11, September 11 attacks, stages of grief, stair climb, Statter 911, The Sweeney Alliance, Tommy Gavin, Willie Wines Jr, Wooden ladders and Iron Firemen, World Trade Center attacks

I need a “do over” …

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I need several “do overs” actually. Unfortunately, I know that I can’t have a second chance at many of the events in my life over the past few months.

I’d give anything to be able to go back and save my brother from the dark place he found himself in on December 30, 2012. A place so dark it enabled him to make the decisions he made … the decision to take his own life. Even though it’s too late for me to change those circumstances, it’s not too late for me to bring something positive from this tragedy.

Follow me on Face Book by clicking “HERE”

I’ve learned so much about emotional / mental health and wellness since Jack’s suicide. I’ve learned first hand what PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) is and how it affects us. I’ve learned about grief and it’s various stages. I’ve learned that although their are many similarities in how it affects us all, it’s also (and often) very much so different for those of us “on the job” (Fire, Rescue and Police).

I’ve learned that “talking” about it helps. I’ve learned that showing and sharing emotion (as raw as it may be) is also not just “ok” but can also be therapeutic. I’ve learned that “we” , as a Fire Service; need to come to know and understand that. We NEED more education on these types of issues … our bosses do too. We need to understand that our “role model” firefighter is also HUMAN.

I’ve learned that there are some GREAT resources out there for us to “reach out” and talk to. “Sucking it up” and getting back to work is not acceptable anymore … not in my book. It shouldn’t be in yours either. I’m going to work to bring a lot of this to light. If you continue to follow the site, you’re gonna see and read a LOT about our emotional / mental health and well being…. I hope to decide to stay with me…. you deserve to know what I’m learning. YOU’RE WORTH IT…. everyone of ya.

For now, with that said; if you find yourself wanting or needing to talk to someone who will truly understand what it is you’re going through or feeling, I’ll add a few of the links I’ve been using in recent posts. Check them out and USE THEM….. they HELP.

Grief.com, Recover from Grief.com , The Sweeney Alliance,Firefighter Behavioral Health Alliance, North American Firefighter Veteran Network

There’s another “do over” however that I may can arrange (if they’ll allow me). You guys may remember that back on January 26th, I was invited to speak at the Lexington Fire Department’s (Va) Annual Awards Dinner and Banquet. Just the invite was a HUGE honor!

I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to. I was still “lost” in my grief and unable to focus on the simplest of tasks.

Lexington’s Chief, Ty Dickerson; is not only a close and personal friend, he’s also a great mentor and leader.

Ty told me to come anyway (if I could … to speak or not). He said that if I felt like it and could, to attend so at least he could hug me again and assure me that I (and my family) were not alone (he also wanted to make sure that I was eating). If I couldn’t attend, he and his members fully understood. THAT in itself speaks VOLUMES about Chief Dickerson and the Brothers and Sisters of the Lexington Fire Department.

I had prepared a couple speeches. I arrived empty handed …. my thoughts and words seemed to “scattered”. I decided to speak, but would do it from the heart. That usually works out good for us but this time, I’m not even sure what i said.

There was so much I could have and wanted to say but it just wasn’t the “right” occasion. This was their (The Lexington Fire Department’s) first banquet as a “combined” Department and it should have been memorable.

I decided to speak about “Brotherhood” and how alive it is within their Department. So many times we hear Brothers and Sisters complaining of how “the Brotherhood” is dead in the Fire Service today but I can tell you for certain IT’S NOT.

I had just been witness to a HUGE act of Brotherhood from all across the world. Good friend and Brother Firefighter Nate Camiford. After my post “A Firefighter’s Boots”, Nate started a campaign where hundreds of Brothers and Sisters from all over the world sent me pictures of their “boots” in support of me getting back into mine. It was very humbling to say the least … I was honored.

Often times, Department’s such as Lexington just need a little “outside” reminder of how the Brotherhood is alive and well within their own Department. Like with “the boots” I had witnessed the Brotherhood at work within the Lexington Fire Department many times and wanted to share my experience with them. Here’s what I should have said…..

Usually, I don’t speak alone. Most of you know that Rhett Fleitz (The Fire Critic) and I are very seldom seen apart. We are more than a “team” … more than “partners” … more than Brothers even. I can’t explain it …. it is what it is …. you don’t get one of us without the other (most times).

Whenever Rhett and I speak about Brotherhood, we always include the values which we believe make it up …. TRADITION, PRIDE, HONOR and RESPECT.

The Lexington Fire Department (and City) has a rich history full of tradition. The banquet that night was just another example. Many new traditions were started that night as well as in some of the awards and recognition’s made. They will see many new traditions made and kept as they move forward with their new “combination” Department.

What a HUGE undertaking that in itself is. Moving from an all volunteer Department to a Combination (career and volunteer). It shows care and a concern for their community and a PRIDE in being able to overcome obstacles. Pride in being able to serve their community … to do the job we signed up to do. It takes a special group of people to make that model work. It takes strong leadership and members working together towards a common goal. It takes patience and understanding to say the least … give and take. These Brothers and Sisters are setting the standard.

I wanted to tell them about the picture I had (and shared with them at the banquet). A picture of my dad as a member of the Lexington Volunteer Fire Department from back in the late 60′s. A picture of their entire Department standing in front of their 59 Mack Fire Engine. I wanted to explain how that picture exemplifies PRIDE for a Department … for THEIR Department.

I wanted to explain how their donating that truck to the Kazim Shriners shows, HONOR and RESPECT. I wanted to explain how that was evident to me (and the members of the Melrose Misfits) when we had the honor and privilege of helping to restore some of the equipment on that truck. Seeing the name “Lexington Fire Department” spoke volumes to my members.

I seen more examples when one of their members invited me down for a birthday party. Actually, Cassie Potter (wife of Chris Potter) invited me down for a “surprise” party for Chris. She explained how he was a loyal follower of the site and how excited he’d be to actually get to meet and spend some time with me. I was again humbled and honored.

I made the party and many new friends in Lexington. The best part was getting a personal tour of their house that night. It’s a new station and one that I hadn’t been in before (I remembered the old one downtown as a kid).

You could see the PRIDE in the eyes of their members as they showed me around. I seen it on the floors …. in the corners. NO DIRT. The equipment, station and members were IN ORDER and ready to roll. I look for that … the little things. They offered me a cup of coffee right off …. I felt at home.

They showed me their history and again I was flooded with a sense of Pride, Honor, Tradition and Respect. A full trophy case. Banners and ribbons. Wooden ladders. Hand pulled ladder trucks! I hope the Brothers and Sisters of Lexington know just how “rich” they are…. I do.

Rhett and I witnessed even more of the Brotherhood at work through the Lexington Fire Department while attending the 2012 National Fallen Firefighter’s Memorial Weekend.

There, we meet a member of the Lexington Fire Department (Michelle) who was volunteering her time to serve as an “escort” for one of the families of our fallen. There is no batter way to HONOR our fallen than to take care of their survivors. Talk about RESPECT and PRIDE!

I could go on and on. I should have back on the 26th. The City Manager, Sheriff and many other dignitaries were present and I hope they know what a valued asset they have in the Lexington Fire Department, it’s Chief and members.

I say I need a “do over” because I think it was an important message (although one that I didn’t get across). They need to hear it …. they have EARNED and deserve to hear it. The Brotherhood is alive and well in Lexington and it’s all because of their members. They have, are and will continue to make an impact / difference. Maybe Ty can find a spot to bring me back ( along with Rhett) so we (I) can deliver the message in person.

Sorry for the lack in postings …. obviously, I’m still working on getting to my “new normal”. Thanks once again for all the messages and support …. I couldn’t have made it without you all!

Stay SAFE and in House!

Captain Wines

Posted by Iron Firemen on February 11, 2013 • Filed under: administration-leadership, command-leadership, fire-rescue-topics, firefighter-safety-health, funding-staffing, news, Uncategorized • Tagged: brotherhood, building fire, Captain Willie Wines Jr, Dave Statter, Fire Critic, Firefighter Behavioral Health Alliance, Firefighter mental health, firefighter pics, firefighters, health and wellness, Honor, house fire, Jack Wines, Lexington Fire Department, Lt. Rhett Fleitz, National Fallen Firefighter Foundation, National Fallen Firefighter's Foundation memorial Weekend, NFFF, Pride, Respect, Roanoke Fire/EMS, Statter 911, Suicide, tradition

I dont know ….

5 comments

I’d like to make this a “regular” Ironfiremen.com post. I’d like to bring ya some controversy, some training thoughts or at least a picture of some half nudity ( I was called the “titty blog” earlier this season you know?). I can’t do that …. not yet …. I’m not “normal” at this point and I’m not sure I’ll ever be.

I’ve been giving it a lot of thought. I also know that you, my readers and followers; will only follow so much of my “preaching”. I have got to get back to somewhere close to what made you follow the site. It’s difficult to do. I WANT you to continue following because now I know that I have something very important to tell ya …. I wasn’t always sure of that…. I am now.

We’ve hit most every subject here on Ironfiremen.com over the years. It’s most often a topic around firefighter safety and/or saving our own…. that’s where my heart lies. To me, there’s not a more important issue to speak about. I’ve spoken of the “typical” MAYDAY on multiple occasions. As in when a firefighter finds him or herself in danger. Knowing where, when and how to call for help and to not be ashamed of it. We’re getting better at it.

I’ve added to the topic and written about a “personal” mayday in that we also need to call for emotional support. We need somewhere or someplace to “vent”. Someone to tell what’s on our minds. A place to share our emotions and feelings. The good and the bad. I’m not sure you understood what I was saying at the time but … PLEASE … read em again by hitting the links below….

“A BAD day for Randy gets worse … “ and “Time for a MAYDAY”

My support following Jack’s suicide has been phenomenal. I’M LUCKY ! I know that. Not all of you have the “reach” or support group that I’m subjected to. I wish you did …. we ALL deserve it.

Jack’s death has not been easy on me …. it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever encountered. I LOST MY BROTHER! Dad lost a son!

He killed himself in my dad’s home …. I was there. I seen it. I worry about what dad seen and had to do before I got there. I worry about the brothers and sisters who responded to our home for this type of incident. What they had to see and their knowing that it was “our” house and family member (Dad and myself).

I knew how to respond … as a first-responder but never thought I’d be there as a brother. Never thought about having to care for dad being there. My wife, my sister, my cousin …. friends and family. This was personal …. it was FAMILY.

I assisted in the arrangements. We took visitors, smiled, hugged and shook hands …. I didn’t want to. It’s what I was taught to do and what needed to be done. I had to “hold it together”. I slept in the basement, just feet from where Jackson slept every night. Feet from where he eventually took his own life. I say I slept but the honest answer is that I laid awake there every night … unable to sleep. Pondering, waiting for him to walk into that room.

Today / tonight is NOT all that different. I re-live those moments (many of which I can not share yet) with every breath. I think of it as “ground hog day” …. it will never end and forever haunt me.

I didn’t think I could but last week, I took a step forward. I returned to duty and I’ve never been so scared in my life!

Within 10 minutes of entering the station, we received a call (run). We were tones for a possible house fire. My mind was racing (for reasons yet divulged) . What would I do? How could I focus on the task at hand when my mind was somewhere so far away? Was I placing my members in danger? Could I make the right decisions? Would I do the right thing?

Luckily, the house was not on fire. The basement had flooded due to the rain and snow, The occupant had several cans of gasoline (and other flammable liquids) stored down there which had overturned due to the high water. The home had gas hot water and heat but luckily, the water level had snuffed out the pilot lights. We secured the utilities, pumped the water and vented the home/ It was an otherwise “routine” run but my mind was in a million places. It could have gone so bad so quickly.

We continued to run that day. One call after another. We caught a 5 vehicle accident involving an ambulance (with a patient on board) form a neighboring agency and ended the night with a 2nd alarm at a 1st due 9 story apartment complex. My nerves were shaken to say the least. It wasn’t an easy tour.

How do I talk about it? Who do I tell?

Can I talk to dad about it? About my fears? He retired with 30 years of service and the title of one of the best firefighters on the job. How about my Chief? Which one? Which has REALLY been there? Which would understand? Maybe they’d seize this opportunity to find the reason to get rid of me once and for all? No ….. I couldn’t share any of this with them.

E.A.P (Employee Assistance Program) …. what do “they” know about what I’ve seen? What I think and / or fear? They aren’t firemen …. they don’t know what we’ve seen …. what we’ve done. I had nowhere to turn. OR SO I THOUGHT.

Brothers and Sisters I’m telling you NOW ….. we DO have somewhere to go … somewhere to turn to … someone who’ll listen. I’m going to start talking about it a lot. I’m going to because I want YOU to know that they are there. THEY …. someone who UNDERSTANDS, and they are there for US!

I’m in a deep, DARK place in my life but I also know that I will pull through. I KNOW I WILL because of the support I have received … the support WE have.

There’s NO SHAME in it. TALK ….. SHARE YOUR FEELINGS. Your pain, sorrow, hurt and even joy. SHARE IT. …. LET IT OUT, it’s therapeutic. TRUST ME.

It doesn’t make us “less” of a fireman … it makes us STRONGER. It makes us BETTER!

I’m getting there … little by little. There’s not a day goes by that I don’t think about or miss Jack. He was my little brother … I’m supposed to think about him. I was here to take care of him. I may have failed.

I watched the Super Bowl last night … I don’t watch football …. Jackson did. I pulled for the Ravens. They were the “home” team and from what I can tell, the “underdogs” as well. That sums us up ….(me…you… Jackson) the home team AND the underdogs.

Well, we won. We won yet I’m still here. I’m still lost.

I’ll keep searching till I find what it is I’m looking for. Maybe one day, I’ll share it with you … I’m not ready yet. I’ll keep looking. Digging, scratching. I may never find it but I’ll look. My dad and mom found it …. it came to them … I should be so lucky.

Until then, I’ve realized that I have chosen to live. I had to. There’s no life without it and unlike Jackson, I realize how many people love, think about and depend on me. I’m in it for the long haul. The Paul Harvey commercial reminded me of that …. we ( I ) have a purpose….

The support I’ve received through this trying time has been overwhelming. The phone calls, e-mails, messages etc. The comments and concern about me and my entire family. What really got me was when they asked about the Buckaroo. How he was doing. Well, the honest answer is that I haven’t been here for him. We haven’t explained whats going on to him. All he knows is that his uncle Jackson is gone to be with Jesus and that his Paw-Paw isn’t around much anymore. It has to be confusing.

That’s another reason to get back into shape. So that my family can get back to “normal” as well. Of course, when I say “my family” I mean you as well. I sold most of my cattle. When I say most, I mean that I still own those that nobody else would buy … my long horns.

That means that the Buckaroo and I still have some obligations to fulfill. Our animals come first. So for all of you asking ….. THANKS. It hasn’t been the best of circumstances for him but he’s doing OK. I haven’t been “there” for him but I will be. Here’s a short video of us heading out to feed / water yesterday. I hope you enjoy it.

My other family …. I’ll be reaching back to them as well. Closer to my firehouse family … to the Brotherhood and to my wife and children. It’s ok to need and want to lean on each other in times like these. I know none of you will let me slip … much less fall.

Also please don’t forget to reach out if and when you need someone to talk to, WE ALL DO. Once again I’ll add some links that have been helpful for me … USE THEM.

Grief.com, Recover from Grief.com , The Sweeney Alliance,Firefighter Behavioral Health Alliance, North American Firefighter Veteran Network

I’m back on duty tomorrow and will update ya as soon as possible …. THANKS again for the support!!!

Stay SAFE and in House!

Captain Wines

Posted by Iron Firemen on February 4, 2013 • Filed under: administration-leadership, command-leadership, ems-health-safety, fire-rescue-topics, firefighter-safety-health, news, Uncategorized • Tagged: brotherhood, Buckaroo, building fire, Captain Willie Wines Jr, Dave Statter, emotional health, emotional health and wellness, Farmer, Fire Critic, Firefighter Behavioral Health Alliance, firefighter emotional health, firefighter health and wellness, Firefighter mental health, firefighters, grief, Ironfiremen, Lt. Rhett Fleitz, mental health, NFFF, North American Firefighter Veteran Network, Paul Harvey, Roanoke Fire/EMS, stages of grief, Statter 911, Super Bowl, Super Bowl Commercials, The Sweeney Alliance, Willie Wines Jr, Working fire

Barefooted … for now

6 comments

I’ve been attempting another (this) post for several days now. I’ve written several and sent em to the recycle bin instead of posting. I didn’t want to seem (or come across) as angry and I felt like they did. So, like everything else here lately, I’ll try it again. My emotions lately are across the board.

Despite the overwhelming support I received following my last post (“A Firefighter’s Boots”), I was NOT able to return to duty and put mine (my boots) back on. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to … I DID … more than anything, and you folks were a HUGE part of the reason why.

The comments, e-mails, Face Book messages and phone calls were all nothing short of amazing! Then a good friend and brother Firefighter, Nate Camfiord; posted a picture of some bunker boots with a simple message … “for a friend”. Talk about “Honor”, “Pride” and “Respect” … Nate reeks of it.

He (Nate) then called Rhett and told him what he had posted and why. The two got their heads together and the next thing you know, hundreds of pictures of “Firefighter’s boots” were being posted and sent in! They came from EVERYWHERE…. it was an AWESOME display of support! I was humbled and brought to tears.

Some of the pictures had messages attached. Each touched me. Some were heart breaking yet healing at the same time. All were emotional, heart felt, honest and motivational. They all said, in one way or another; for me to put my boots back on and that each of you were not only willing to, but “THERE” to help me with the “fit”.

I had no idea! I knew the Brotherhood existed, I just didn’t know it did to this extent. I also figured out that all of you were grieving “for” and “with” me as well. I know that you all felt my pain…. I had hoped to spare ya from it. That was selfish of me.

I later learned that part of the healing process needed to be a sharing of that pain and grief and, that I have a huge family to do that with. We all do the same thing … we help others, even at our own sacrifice. You wanted to help me. To be beside me. To comfort me and share in my grief. My being there would allow us all to move forward … to begin the healing process.

I wanted back in those boots this past Sunday. I wasn’t sure how it would turn out but I was going to put them on. I wanted back in them for me and for you. I needed it…. we all did.

Obviously, it didn’t happen. I did however get by the station (and Station #5) for a visit that morning … I was glad I did. The circumstances surrounding why I didn’t work were beyond my control and I hope you folks weren’t disappointed. I hope I didn’t let you down.

We only get a couple days “funeral leave” in our system (one of which has to be the day of Last Rites) so I’ve had to take several days of “sick leave” since Jack’s death. I’m on the “old leave plan” so it’s no big deal for me. It doesn’t affect my Vacation or Holidays, I have plenty of it and, it will renew in July. I’ve earned it.

The problem I encountered was in our S.O.P’s (Standard Operating Procedures). Since I have taken more than 3 consecutive days “sick”, I need a doctor’s note before I can return to duty. One of our Deputy Chiefs reminded me of the policy when he called to “check on me” Friday evening and it’s a good thing he did (remind me that is). Can you imagine the turmoil it would have caused if I had shown up for duty without a ~~permission slip~~ doctors note?

It may have actually been for the best… I may have tried to come back too fast / soon. I’ve had a difficult week (emotional wise) and think that the couple extra days off couldn’t have hurt. They helped and the Chief of Department has told me to take all the time I need. I’ll get there…. I know it. With a support group like you, how could I not?

I’ll get a doctor’s note, even if I have to get Dr. Seuss himself to write one (he is a close personal friend and the only Doctor I REALLY trust you know…lol). My plan now is to return to duty on Tuesday the 29th or Thursday the 31st. Meanwhile, I’m going to start easing my way back to normal … my “new normal” anyway.

Zach Green and my MN8 FoxFire family will be in Daytona Beach Fla this week for the 2013 Fire-Rescue East convention … I’m going with them. Actually, I’m going to meet them there. Dad will be there too. They will be in booth #720 …. stop by and say hello.

A change of scenery, getting away (even if just for a couple of days) may be just what I need. It will also be a good opportunity to “reconnect”. I’ll be surrounded by firefighters, friends and family. It will be like easing back into the firehouse, only in a convention type setting.

It’s going to be difficult for me. I remain very emotional and it shows … that’s ok. I’m gonna cry in front of a lot of people this weekend. That’s ok too. I’ve learned that over these past 3 weeks. We’re HUMAN … I’m human. It’s what actually makes us good firemen. I’m going to start talking and “sharing” a lot… about opening up…. about talking (yea… to real live, other people). Sharing our stories, our feelings, our emotions. I’m going to tell ya how it’s ok to use E.A.P (Employee Assistance Programs), counselors and psychologists. IT WORKED FOR ME. If I can do it, anyone can.

I’m not “healed”. I’m not “over it” and I’m not “ok” BUT … I know that I will be. I know that I’ll learn to deal with and live with this pain… with this part of me that’s now missing.

If you’re in or going to be in Daytona for the show, look me up … I could use the company. Leave a comment here, message me on Face Book, hit up Rhett (Fire Critic) or just stop by booth #720 … Zach and Kelly will know where to find me. Heck, I may even put my boots back on while down there and give ya a free demo of FoxFire.

I’ll check back in from sunny Daytona (as soon as I stop and buy a new speedo). I just wanted to let you know (warn ya) that I’m on my way. THANKS AGAIN for all of and the continued SUPPORT…. I LOVE YOU GUYS!

Stay SAFE and in House!

Captain Wines

Posted by Iron Firemen on January 23, 2013 • Filed under: administration-leadership, fire-rescue-topics, news, Uncategorized • Tagged: brotherhood, building fire, Captain Willie Wines Jr, Dave Statter, Daytona Beach, Dr. Seuss, Fire Critic, Fire-Rescue East 2013, Firefighter Behavioral Health Alliance, Firefighter mental health, firefighter pics, firefighters, health and wellness, house fire, Jack Wines, Lt. Rhett Fleitz, MN8 FoxFire, NFFF, Roanoke Fire/EMS, Statter 911, Suicide, Zach Green

A firefighter’s boots

28 comments

Our boots are one of the seemingly simplest tools we have as firefighters yet they each have a story to tell.

Maybe you have to be a firefighter to understand but for most of us on the job, we can look at a brother or sisters boots (and how they wear them) and learn so much about the person wearing them.

Shined or scuffed. Tall or short. Laces or zippers. Station wear or structural. By the rig or inside the cab. Bunkers over or separated from our pants. By the bed at night or out in the bay. We depend on our boots… they get us to the job and have been there for every one … good and bad.

I’ve been in a dark place following my brother’s death two weeks ago and my boots continue to consume my thoughts. You can tell by just the few examples I gave above that we have many options (or choices) when it comes to our boots. One of the biggest however is the one I didn’t mention and the same one I’m facing now … knowing when (and how) to put them back on or to just hang them up.

I’ve been open and emotional here on the site before but not to the extent that I was in my previous post (or at least I don’t think so). The response was very positive and to be honest, it was also very therapeutic for me so I think I’ll try it again.

I’ve never been in this place (or any like it) before and I don’t like it. I can’t figure it out or “fix it” quickly and it’s not a position I’m used to or comfortable with. I’m still dazed and feel lost. I can’t sleep, keep food down and even find it difficult to draw a full breath. I get out of bed every day feeling as if I’ve been kicked in the gut. I’ve walked a million miles these past two weeks searching for answers or some sort of closure or peace but even these boots can’t get me far enough from the pain for me to function as I should.

Some of my friends are telling me to get back to work … get back to a “routine” and whats “normal”. I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet or if I’ll ever be. It used to be that I had a farming and firehouse life. Last week, I sold all my cattle and I haven’t been to the firehouse since Jack’s death. For the first time in my career, I’m ~~nervous~~ scared to go to work. I’m scared of what I’ll have to face and question my courage or ability to push through it.

I worry about facing the guys. I know this sounds “petty” but it bothers me. What will I say to Phil or Lynn when I walk in the door? What will they say to me? I know that right now, I’d break down in tears and I don’t want to do that … not at the station. Maybe they will break down? I don’t want that either.

They have to be wondering what to say to me. What can they say? Nothing they come up with will make it any easier for me (although appreciated). I’ll see their pain in knowing that I’m still hurting. I do and will know that they want to and are willing to share in that pain but still cant stand the thought of placing that burden on them.

Then, the seven o’clock bell will hit and the other members will emerge from the bunk room and we’ll have to relive the situation all over again. The event will unfold time and time again throughout the day as we converge with other companies. Maybe there wont be any conversation … just that awkward silence because nobody knows what to say.

I’ll be the guy who stops all conversation by simply entering the room. My presence will affect our members, their mental status and maybe even their ability to perform their duties because of it. I don’t want to be “that guy” either.

I also worry about the incidents that I’ll respond to and if I’ll be able to function after arriving. I’ve NEVER doubted my ability to do the job … until now. I’m not sure how I’ll react on certain types of incidents. More specifically, I worry about running suicides, ”Code Blues” (CPR), and any other type of fatality we may encounter. What if I “break down” while on the scene? In someone’s home… in front of their family. We are there to assist with their crisis, not bring more into it.

I’ve seen death throughout my career … a lot of it. I’ve seen it from new borns to elderly and from many mechanisms. As firefighters, we’ve all seen things that nobody should have to. I know that there is no “illusion” to death. It’s (their) face(s) has continued to visit (haunt) me over the years. I’ve always been able to move it “somewhere” in the back of my mind, to “file it away” and move forward … even when they hit “close to home”. This is different.

When our girls were home, Donna; (my wife) always knew when I had run an incident involving a child. We’ve never talked about them but she’d get a call at whatever time in the late night / early morning. I’d have her go to our girls bedroom, look in on them and tell me they were ok. I’d have her do it while I was on the phone. I heard it, I knew that they were ok and that I could move on through the rest of the tour. This time, there’s nobody to call and it’s not ok.

Of everything I’ve experienced and witnessed throughout my life and career, NOTHING can compare to what I had to do on December 30th. This was more than “close to home” … this WAS HOME. We were at Dad’s house and that was Jackson laying in front of me. JACKSON! I don’t want to see anymore.

Maybe my “file cabinet” is full. Maybe this file is simply too big to fit inside. Either way, I’m having trouble putting this one away. Maybe I don’t want to. How can I put Jack into “that” file cabinet anyway? Into “that” place in my mind? I know I’ve got to figure it out because I can’t keep going on like this. I need and want for my mind to slow down. For me to be able to focus and move forward.

I know that part of the reason that I’m in the condition I am is because I haven’t found what I’m looking for yet. What I’m “searching” for. I know what it is … it’s very specific and I’m not sure it will happen. I want it to … I need it to. I’m not ready to share it with all of you yet but I know that if I find it … if I get this answer, I can go on.

I’ll say here that I’ve had a ton of support (my entire family has). The e-mails, comments etc have been heart felt and therapeutic in themselves. THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU! I’ve even had several therapists and professional counselors reach out…. everyday they’ve helped me. I’ll include some links at the bottom once again. If you haven’t already … CHECK THEM OUT. When you go to the Sweeneyalliance, be sure to sign up for their newsletter “Grieving Behind the Badge” .

So, once again; writing this has helped and I’m thankful to have this outlet. My Chief (and Department) has been VERY understanding and supportive. He’s told me to take as much time as I need knowing that neither of us could know how long that may be. Well, after writing this; I think it’s time to try. I think I’ll return to duty on Sunday and see if I can get back into my boots. Get back into my boots and “do work”. To see if I can still make a difference … hopefully, a positive one.

Willie

Posted by Iron Firemen on January 18, 2013 • Filed under: administration-leadership, ems-health-safety, firefighter-safety-health, news, Uncategorized • Tagged: brotherhood, building fire, Captain Willie Wines Jr, Dave Statter, Fire Critic, Firefighter Behavioral Health Alliance, Firefighter mental health, firefighter pics, firefighters, health and wellness, house fire, Jack Wines, Lt. Rhett Fleitz, NFFF, Roanoke Fire/EMS, Statter 911, Suicide

Searching for a “new normal”

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I’m going to give this a try with no promises on the outcome so bare with me.

It’s been just over two weeks since I lost my brother (Jackson) and I’m still struggling. His Birthday would have been on the 10th. In the last post I made, I said his death was “unexpected to say the least” but it was much more than that … it was devastating.

What I didn’t tell you was that Jack took his own life… he committed suicide. He killed himself and took a huge part of me with him.

He left me with guilt, anger, remorse, regret and more questions than I’ll ever know the answer to. My days and nights are now consumed with a search for those answers and I feel as if I’m wondering aimlessly in some far away land…. I have been and remain LOST.

I’m going to share this story (or as much as I can and I know I’ll ramble) for a couple of reasons. First, I think (and hope) there are some lessons here for us all. The second is more selfish in that I think it may be therapeutic for me. It’s difficult for me to “talk” about these things, so I don’t. It’s much easier to type them here. I need to get it out… or at least some of it. I may not even hit the “publish” button but if I do, maybe this will help me find what or who I’m searching for. Maybe it will help me find my “new normal”.

Part of my anger is that of all the total strangers I’ve helped over my career, I couldn’t (didn’t) help my own brother. Someone so close. My flesh and blood. Someone I seen or spoke to almost every day. Someone I loved more than he ever knew. How could I not help him??? He was right there! I’m supposed to be good at it … finding and helping others.

Jackson’s life was a struggle from early childhood and I think he looked at it as a failure (or at least a disappointment). He never really “held” a steady job. He didn’t have money in the bank, a lavish home or a fancy car. He struggled day by day to make ends meet and the battle took an early toll on his mind and body. I never knew what his actual “goal” in life was.

I think he thought that dad and I (as well as others) held some sort of expectations for him that he was never able to (or couldn’t) meet. He couldn’t have been more wrong. Although i would have loved to see Jackson prosper (and even become a fireman), what I wanted more than ever was for him to simply NOT have to struggle in life. I wanted him to realize what he DID have … to be happy with his accomplishments and achievements. He had many and I wish I had told him my feelings.

Jackson had lost some ground again here recently. It seemed as if every time he would make a step forward, something would push him 3 more back. His wife kicked him out of their home a few months ago and he was forced to move in with dad at the age of nearly 42. I wont pass judgement or cast blame on his wife … Jackson was fighting many demons. I wish they could have worked through them.

Their separation meant that he would have to face his first Christmas alone. Alone in that he would not get to spend it with his children. He wouldn’t get to shake em out of bed to see if Santa had arrived (even though they are now teen aged). He wouldn’t be there to see them walk into the living room on Christmas morning. To see them open the packages he’d broken his back to get knowing it would be worth the smile on their faces. That was one of our “good” childhood memories and a tradition we’ve both carried throughout our adult lives.

I spoke to him several times on Christmas. I “spoke” to him but we didn’t “talk”…. not like we always have. We had argued in the days before and both of us are hard headed…. neither wanting to admit that the other was right. I didn’t tell him I loved him that morning … I wont get a second chance.

There are so many “what if’s”. So many I “should have” and “could have” dones. Looking back, I seen it. I knew he was hurting. I knew he was hurting but … he was my brother … he was dad’s son… he was a Wines…. he was JACK WINES and we are a firefighting family! This was not our first rodeo.

Our dysfunctional lives had become somewhat like a “bread and butter” fire…. “routine” so to speak (or so we thought). He’d seen troubles (we all had … Jackson, more than his fair share). He knew rough roads and had weathered them all… it’s what we did. I was sure that he was tough enough to take it and move on so there was no need to talk about it. Somewhere over the years, I had forgotten what a fragile soul he was. I had forgotten how to talk to and comfort my little brother. I think the little fella was just tired of fighting and he gave up.

When and where did I become so unaware of those closest to me? Where did I go so wrong? When did I pull that curtain or build that facade? How did I not see it?

Picture my dad as the Chief and me the Captain of our family. Our careers taught us to absorb the things we’ve seen, done and experienced and not talk about or dwell on it…. we passed that on to Jackson. It was a “tough love” if you will. Had we have only known ( well … I knew … I just couldn’t “see it”).

What examples are we as firefighters (Officers or not) setting today (on and off the job)? Keep in mind that being a firefighter also means being human … men and women. We should lead by and set the example…. after all, we are the people everyone else looks to for help.

My life has revolved around “the job”. It’s what I was taught and all I’ve known. A lot of times (most times actually), my Fire Department family came first because my home family “understood”. They were or should have been as strong and tough as me (or so I thought). They (the home family), could and would “do without” certain things knowing that I was somewhere else because that’s where I thought I was needed most. Today I know I’m not near as smart or tough as I thought I was and that I was more often than not in the wrong place. I wasn’t the son, husband, father or brother I should have been and again, I wont get a second chance.

Knock down those walls …. destroy the facades. Stop being (or trying to be) that tough burly fireman and start showing that we too are human. Open up to your members … to you families. Encourage them to open up to you as well. It’s ok to share and to show feelings and emotions…. the job overwhelms us with them and we can only store so much.

I’ve cried a river of tears these past two weeks. Rhett and Kevin have been by my side and seen a part of me that not many others have. In one of our conversations, I told Rhett that I was worried about seeing visitors. Every time someone came by or even called, I couldn’t help but break down. If I made it to the greeting, I would see the tears in their eyes or they would start to cry and it sat me off. I didn’t want the boys to see me like that.

Of course Rhett asked all the right questions…. to see me like what? HUMAN? To see that I had emotion? That I felt pain? We share the good times, why can’t we share the bad? Help them help you get through this he said. How can we be Brothers and Sisters if we never let each other “in”?

They were crying because they seen or felt my pain. It hurt them to see or know that (and how much) I was hurting. It’s very humbling and I hope I grow worthy. I wanted to hide or shield them from it … from my pain and theirs. As a Captain, and brother; it’s my duty to shield them from harm … to protect them.

They were going to feel my pain, going to cry and suffer with and for me (as well as my family) either alone or in my embrace. If they loved and cared about me THAT much (so much that they wanted to SHARE in my pain and suffering), why would I let them go through it alone? Why would I go it alone knowing that they were there to help carry the load? I wish I could have been there for Jackson and vow, that if ever possible; to never be out of place again. We’ve taken many visitors and cried many a tear together since that day. I’m thankful for each.

Like me, many of you may not be good at it (opening up, sharing, talking) but we do have resources to help us along. I have Rhett, Kevin, Dave, the Brotherhood and many more close and personal friends. I’ll include some links to the more “formal” ones at the bottom of the post but just understand that we have to stop coming home (or reporting for duty) so “hardened” that we’re blind to the issues right under our own roof. How can we continue to help those whom we are sworn to protect and serve when we can’t help ourselves or our own?

As for me, I will never be the same but know that I must find a “new normal” and continue moving forward…. I can and will.

I’ll continue more on this post in the next day or so but, until I do; I’d like to once again THANK everyone who reached out with thought, prayer, e-mails, comments, visits, flowers etc over these past two weeks. I will start working on “thank you” cards tomorrow. Just know that each of you were heard, felt and appreciated … you’re why I’m able to post this today and for that, I’m eternally grateful.

If ANY of you ever need someone to talk to …. an ear … some direction … whatever, I may not be the best but I’m always available. Don’t fall into the traps I did.

You, or the person you’re thinking of may NOT be “alright”. You or they my NOT be able to handle the situation and it MAY be worse than you thought. REACH OUT before it’s too late …. open up and share with those you love (on and off the job). We have options. Don’t settle for, expect or make those we love come looking for help … GREET THEM WITH IT.

Here are the links I mentioned ….

Willie

Posted by Iron Firemen on January 14, 2013 • Filed under: news, Uncategorized • Tagged: brotherhood, building fire, Captain Willie Wines Jr, Dave Statter, Fire Critic, Firefighter Behavioral Health Alliance, firefighter pics, firefighters, health and wellness, house fire, Jack Wines, Lt. Rhett Fleitz, NFFF, Roanoke Fire/EMS, Statter 911, Suicide

Fire critic vs Statter911 … deja vu!

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It’s like I’m stuck inside the movie Ground Hog Day.

The Fire Critic / Statter 911 feud is heating up again. It’s the same old story … “ratings”, “hits” and now … Face book “likes” … GEESH!

The battle has been going on since Moby Dick was a tadpole. Rhett has always wanted to be crowned the “King of Blogs” .

Well apparently, my telling him he was “King” wasn’t enough. Well … if it was, it sure didn’t last long. Rhett ended up in the ER over it. The one good thing that came out of that whole ordeal was that we finally learned that deep down … way, WAY deep down … Dave Statter really cares about Rhett..

Back then, it was all about our blogs (web sites). Life was simple. A post here, another there. A good title was all you needed to draw traffic.

But, now that Face Book steers Social Media; it’s a lot more difficult. It’s time consuming and labor intensive. Carpal tunnel syndrome is an accepted part of the job. Fire Geezer is even working on legislation to make it “presumptive”.

It’s a dog eat dog world out here in Face Book / Blog land. The sad news is there are often causalities … people even catch feelings. There’s a lot of smoke and mirrors …. tricks played, slight of hand, set ups and more.

In the latest of events, Rhett (Fire Critic) has been pushing to surpass Statter in Face Book “Likes”. This is a measurable “status” that could actually indicate who’s indeed the “King of Blogs” (or of Face Book anyway). Here’s how it went down ….

Statter has been running a Give-A-Way on Face Book.

Dave is giving away 5 individual “Bricks” from the National Fallen Firefighters Foundation’s “Walk of Honor” !

It’s FREE and EASY to sign up!

You can enter to win through his Face Book Page (with hopes you’ll “Like” it while there) or by sending him an e-mail.

This is a never ending gift and an AWESOME gesture. You can never go wrong remembering our fallen or supporting the National Fallen Firefighters Foundation.

Rhett also has a Give-A-Way going. Well actually, Rhett and I are working together on the largest Give-A-Way in the history of Fire Service Blogs (that’s what we’re saying anyway …LOL)

We are giving away $$Thousands$$ of dollars worth of free “SWAG” over the 12 days of Christmas. There are winners EVERY DAY and 44 PRIZES to be handed out! If you haven’t registered yet, it’s NOT TOO LATE . It’s also FREE and EASY ….

CLICK HERE & Register to WIN

The 2012 Fire Critic / IronFiremen 12 Days of Christmas Give-A-Way has been a HUGE success!

You can see who our first WINNERS were by clicking HERE

It was the Give-A-Way that helped spur the growth on the Fire Critic’s Face Book Page . Mine has been growing as well (I’ve passed the 5,000 mark!!). Well Rhett was feeling his oats and made the statement that if the fans / readers helped him surpass Statter 911 in “likes” then we would give away a free leather fire helmet. Well, today he did it ….

Well, once again; it all got turned around on our beloved “Fire Boy”. That Dave Statter is smarter than he looks …. check out the latest video …..

LMAO … “T-Bone” … BaHahahahahahhahahahaha…

All kidding aside, both pages are great to follow (like) and it’s silly not to enter both Give-A-Ways. I hope ya got a chuckle out of this one. I’ll be back on Friday with the Day 2 WINNERS in the 12 Days of Christmas plus another installment of the 2012 IronFiremen.com’s Santa’s Sexy Helper!

Stay SAFE and in House!

Captain Wines

Posted by Iron Firemen on December 13, 2012 • Filed under: fire-rescue-topics, news, Uncategorized • Tagged: 12 Days of Christmas Giveaway, 1st In Leather, 2nd Alarm Fire Equipment, Box Alarm Leather, Captain Willie Wines Jr, Captain Wines, CentreLearn, Christmas, Command Sim, Commercial Solutions, Crosstitched, Dave Statter, ESS Eye Pro, Face Book, FD Cam, FDCam.com, fire, Fire Armor, Fire Blogs, Fire Critic, Fire Department, fire service, FireCritic.com, firefighter, Firefighting, funny videos, Glove Crafters, IronFiremen.com, Leatherhead Concepts, NM-Coin, NY Firestore, Rhett Fleitz, RKE Custom Leather, Sims U Share, Smoke is Showing, Social Media, Statter 911, Willie Wines Jr, xtranormal videos

Fire Critic / Ironfiremen’s 12 Days of Christmas winners!

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Today marks the 1st day of the Fire Critic / IronFiremen 12 Days of Christmas!

We will be giving away THOUSANDS of dollars worth of FREE SWAG! Every day from now until Christmas someone will win! Signing up is FREE and EASY and it’s not too late …..

Sign up & Enter to WIN by clicking HERE !

Day 12 winners / prizes are as follows ……

Prize #1 - CentreLearn- 1 year unlimited subscription for one person to CentreLearn’s library of online continuing education courses. They have more than 200 hours of CE in for paramedics, EMTs, and Firefighters.

Winner: Tim O’Connor

Prize #2 - ESS Eye Protection - ESS Eyepro kit including eye protection sunglasses, hat, shirt, huggie, and stickers

Winner: Rachel Deel

Prize #3 - CommandSim’s Sims U Share- Windows or MAC. Training technology aimed to help instructors rapidly create realistic, localized experiences they can use to train on and discuss.

Winner: Doug Baker

Congratulations to our first winners and THANKS to all the companies who donated the prizes. Please use the links provided to learn more about these companies!

View the prize contributors HERE

View the schedule of prizes HERE

Today is also the 1st day for Ironfiremen.com’s Santa’s Sexy Helpers posts for 2012! Every day until Christmas, we’ll post a new picture of one of Santa’s Sexy Helpers here on Ironfiremen …. In true Ironfiremen.com fashion, the pictures get better each day and will end with a very nice surprise for ol Santa.

Be sure to check back daily to see the winners of the 2012 Fire Critic / IronFiremen 12 Days of Christmas and to have a little peek at the daily Santa’s Sexy Helper … Here’s today’s….ENJOY !

Stay SAFE and in House!

Captain Wines

Posted by Iron Firemen on December 13, 2012 • Filed under: fire-rescue-topics, news, Uncategorized • Tagged: brotherhood, building fire, Captain Willie Wines Jr, CentreLearn, CommandSim’s Sims U Share, Dave Statter, ESS Eye Protection, fire, Fire Critic, Fire Critic / Ironfiremen 12 Days of Christmas, firefighter pics, firefighter products, firefighters, house fire, IAFF, Lt. Rhett Fleitz, product give -a-way, Rhett Fleitz, Santa's helper, Santa's sexy helper, Statter 911

Size Matters and this one is HUGE!!!

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Get your mind out of the gutters but don’t be fooled … SIZE MATTERS and in a variety of things!

On a personal note, for all my friends up in Wytheville, Va (especially the President of the Firefighter’s Auxiliary who has sent me several personal Face Book messages referencing my “size”) YES …… I HAVE A BIG ONE …. actually, it’s HUGE!

It’s long, full and thick ! It’s not very pretty but it’s MINE! It’s been seen by THOUSANDS, is fairly well known yet it’s not the biggest in the fire service ….

Chief Billy Goldfeder, without a doubt; has me beat in the mustache category (and many others) ! There’s nobody I’d rather play 2nd fiddle to other than Chief Billy. For all you folks out there searching for someone to look up to … to emulate … THIS IS THE GUY! Check out THIS LINK … click HERE.

And since I mentioned Wytheville, I may as well let ol “Jacob” in on a little secret.

Size also matters when selecting the diameter of your hose line.

Here’s an excerpt from a comment he made on my Face Book Fan page … “Chief King was smart not to send them inside with hoses and yes you are correct about ONE thing. they used small diameter hoses….. DUH did you really think they were going to drag the 5″ out and carry it into the house.” He wants to send me some rope and a vibrator for Christmas! (size matters there too Jacob… be gentle).

Read the entire comment in a previous post found HERE . Yes Jacob … those guys are using 5″ hose (in this case, for defensive operations) but what I was referring to in Wytheville was maybe pulling a 2 1/2″ line … just saying.

Anyway, I’m not talking about mustaches, Wytheville or hose diameter here … I’m talking about Give-A-Ways … you know … FREE STUFF … SWAG !

Dave Statter, he has a good one.

Dave is giving away 5 individual “Bricks” from the National Fallen Firefighters Foundation’s “Walk of Honor” !

It’s EASY and FREE to enter.

You can do so via his Face Book Page or by sending him an e-mail …

Get all the DETAILS by visiting THIS LINK .

This is a GREAT gift idea and an AWESOME give-a-way! It’s big…. REAL BIG ….. but not quite HUGE. If ya want HUGE ….. I’ll give ya HUGE….

How about the Fire Critic / Ironfiremen 12 Days of Christmas!

THOUSANDS of dollars worth of FREE SWAG! Starting today ( 12-13-2012) through Christmas, The Fire Critic and Ironfiremen.com will be giving away free products from companies such as Crosstitched, Box Alarm Leather, FD Cam, and more ….

NOW THAT’S A HUGE GIVE-A-WAY!

It’s not too late to enter (you can actually enter right up until the final drawing). It’s EASY and FREE!

Sign up for the Fire Critic / Iron Firemen 12 Days of Christmas Give-A-Way HERE !

Don’t forget to check back on Thursday to see who our first winners will be. There will be 3 GREAT prizes to kick off the Give-A-Way ….

CentreLearn- 1 year unlimited subscription for one person to CentreLearn’s library of online continuing education courses. They have more than 200 hours of CE in for paramedics, EMTs, and Firefighters.
ESS Eye Protection - ESS Eyepro kit including eye protection sunglasses, hat, shirt, huggie, and stickers
CommandSim’s Sims U Share- Windows or MAC. Training technology aimed to help instructors rapidly create realistic, localized experiences they can use to train on and discuss.

THANKS for the SUPPORT ! Stay SAFE and in House ….

Captain Wines

Posted by Iron Firemen on December 13, 2012 • Filed under: fire-rescue-topics, news, Uncategorized • Tagged: brotherhood, building fire, Captain Willie Wines Jr, Dave Statter, ESS Eye Protection, Fire Critic, Fire Critic / Ironfiremen 12 Days of Christmas, firefighter pics, firefighter products, firefighters, Give-a-way, Lt. Rhett Fleitz, NFFF, Rhett Fleitz, Santa's sexy helper, Statter 911

$$ Thousands $$ in FREE swag plus some eye candy!! … MERRY CHRISTMAS from Fire Critic and Ironfiremen.com

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Tomorrow is the BIG DAY ! Thursday December 13, 2012 kicks off what is possibly the largest giveaway by Fire Service Bloggers EVER!

The Fire Critic / Iron Firemen 12 Days of Christmas starts tomorrow and we’ll be giving away thousands of dollars worth of “swag: right up until Christmas. There will be 44 winners in all and the prizes are AWESOME!!!

It FREE and EASY to ENTER TO WIN. It’s also not too late. If you haven’t already, simply use the link below to register ….

Enter to WIN by clicking HERE !

We will draw the winners every day (afternoon / evening) right up until Christmas. You can see who won and the prizes they’ll receive by checking here or over at FireCritic.com

You should also be following our “Fan Pages” on Face Book. Join over 18,000 others an stay connected to The Fire Critic and Iron Firemen.com by using the links below …

Find Ironfiremen on Face Book HERE and The Fire Critic on Face Book HERE

Our banner (above) details the businesses who provided these great products for the give away. Use the links below for more details on these companies, including Face Book pages, web sites etc. You will also find a schedule of the products to be given out. DON’T FORGET … it’s NEVER too late to enter.

I will also begin the 2012 installments of Santa’s Sexy Helpers here on Ironfiremen.com tomorrow!

For all our new followers / readers, it’s kind of become a tradition for me to share a daily picture of some of Santa’s little helpers.

If these little helpers are as NAUGHTY as they appear, they most likely will not receive a visit from ol Santa. At least maybe they will earn some bonus points for next year due to putting a smile on our faces!

They (the photos) get better each day so be sure to check in daily! Just wait til ya see what we’ll leave under the tree for ol Santa Claus on the 25th!!!

I’ll check back with ya tomorrow with the 1st of both….. our 1st winners from the Fire Critic / Iron Firemen 12 Days of Christmas and the 1st installment of the IronFiremen.com 2012 Santa’s Sexy Helpers (the photo above is just a teaser) !

I hope you enjoy em both …. THANKS for the continued support! Until I get back, stay SAFE and in House!

Captain Wines

Posted by Iron Firemen on December 12, 2012 • Filed under: fire-rescue-topics, news, Uncategorized • Tagged: 12 Days of Christmas, 2012 Santa's Sexy Helpers, brotherhood, building fire, Captain Willie Wines Jr, Dave Statter, Fire Critic, Fire Critic / Ironfiremen 12 Days of Christmas, firefighter pics, firefighter products, firefighters, free giveaway, Holiday give away, house fire, Lt. Rhett Fleitz, Rhett Fleitz, Santa's sexy helper, Statter 911, Working fire

Roanoke’s Bravest face another heavily involved structure fire

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The Brothers and Sisters of B-shift had another busy night.

Lucky #13, led by Captain Phil “Triple D” Dillon was first in on a well involved 2 story residential structure fire.

It took firefighters about 40 minutes to get the fire “under control”. All searches were found to be “all clear” as the house was unoccupied and under renovation. The cause remains under investigation while damages are estimated at $80,000.00
Captain Dillon and his crew made a quick knock down and stretched inside while the 2nd due companies protected the exposure and performed other vital tasks.

You can tell by the photo above right that these Brothers and Sisters faced a pretty substantial amount of fire. The photo (above right) is actually a screen shot from video footage captured on the cell phone of a WDBJ 7 news reporter. The picture to the left is what they managed to save.

It’s obvious that the Brothers and Sisters of B-Shift, North Battalion put in some solid work. Nobody, civilian or firefighter; was injured in the blaze although Captain Dillon (#13-C … left in the photo right from 2007) said at shift break this morning that he hasn’t faced that much heat in quite a while.

Captain Dillon is an “aggressive” firefighter who has seen more than his fair share of work. When he says it was a “hot” one, what he means is that it would have melted the paint off the gates of hell …LOL.

When I say he’s “aggressive”, I should add that it’s a calculated aggression. An educated aggression …a cautious aggressiveness even though the two words contradict themselves (if that makes sense). How do you define aggressive? My good friend and Brother Bill Carey has a great post on that exact topic over on Backstep Firefighter. Click the title below to view that post …

Defining Aggressive, Part I Tasks and Identity

So anyway, I know that Captain Dillon follows my site and what I can’t figure out is why he didn’t deploy the newest firefighting technique recently discovered in Wytheville, Va by Chief Ronnie King. If you haven’t heard of this revolutionary technique, don’t worry. I covered it’s discovery right here in the pages of Ironfiremen.com. Read that post by CLICKING HERE .

I don’t know what Captain Dillon was thinking when he decided to put WATER on the fire! Maybe if he had “thousands and thousands of hours of training” his strategies and tactics would have been different? Anyway, you can see the entire video from WDBJ7 (where the screen shot, top, right photo came from) in the link below. I’ll also add the video from WSLS and the story from the local paper.

MUST SEE VIDEO from WDBJ7. Well involved structure fire Roanoke, Va

Story from Roanoke.com

Today has been just as busy around “Lucky #13″.

We even got to do a little work with our Brothers from Roanoke County.

We’re kind of “out on the border” here at #13. We are right at the line for Roanoke County on one side and the City of Salem on the other.

We have both mutual and automatic-aid agreements with both agencies and it goes both ways. We run into the County and City of Salem and they in turn respond into the City when needed.

Today, we caught a small fire contained in a very confined space above an entrance way.

The job took more overhaul than extinguishment but the members (City and County) did a good job of getting to it.

The location was actually a fairly large church.

Had this fire gone undetected, it could have resulted in a huge loss.

We were first in on this one.

Well, we were the first piece of fire “apparatus” on scene anyway.

Little Brandon Sheppard was actually first on scene and established command.

Yea … Brandon had command and ordered me to work! LOL

My long time followers may remember Brandon from back in our “Melrose Misfits” days. The “powers to be” worked it out where Brandon was allowed to spend a tour with us in the City. He was actually “assigned” to the City as a Roanoke County Firefighter. I’m not sure it had ever been done before.

It was actually an awesome idea and proved to be a great experience for Brandon. Take a moment and read my post (and the comments) from January 25, 2009

Roanoke County FF/Medic assigned to City Station for a day

I have a lot more to share with ya but I’ll stop here for now. Just for a teaser, I’ll tell that I received some AWESOME upgrades for my Phenix TL2 Leather Helmet. Tomorrow night is our Union’s Annual Banquet (IAFF Local-1132) so I should have some good pics for the next post. Saturday, we sign up for vacation and Father Sandy is scheduled for a visit. Lastly, I have some BIG news concerning our beloved “Rookie Randy” … you’re not going to want to miss it.

We’re also trying to boost my Face book presence. If you haven’t done so already, please visit and like my “Fan Page” Let’s see if I can get to 5,000 by Christmas … I promise to keep ya entertained.

“Like” Ironfiremen.com on Face Book. Click HERE

Until I get back, stay SAFE and in House!

Captain Wines

Posted by Iron Firemen on December 6, 2012 • Filed under: command-leadership, fire-rescue-topics, firefighting-operations, fires, news, Uncategorized, videos • Tagged: Automatic aid, brotherhood, building fire, Captain Willie Wines Jr, Dave Statter, fire, Fire Critic, fire video, firefighter pics, firefighters, firemen, fully involved, house fire, IAFF, IronFiremen.com, Lt. Rhett Fleitz, Melrose misfits, Mutual-aid, Overhaul Operations, Randy Armbrister, Roanoke County Fire / Rescue, Roanoke Fire/EMS, Statter 911, Working fire, Wytheville Fire Department

Fire truck roll over, working fire, a strange rescue, some rope and a vibrator

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Where else, other than Ironfiremen.com can you find a title like that? LMAO Ok, first off, let me update ya on the roll over accident involving Bedford Engine 1 yesterday. The accident happened as the Engine was responding to a brush fire on Peaks Road. There were 4 members on board and all were transported to local hospitals (at least 1 was air lifted). Initial reports were of 2 members having serious injuries. The good news is that none of the injuries sustained were serious and all 4 members were released from the hospital by late yesterday evening. Bedford’s Engine 1 is a 2007 Seagrave Marauder II. Rhett broke the story yesterday over on FireCritic.com you can read his post HERE . Read some local news coverage HERE and HERE.

Find Bedford Fire Department’s Web Page HERE or on Face Book HERE

Yesterday was a busy day in “The Noke” as well.

This picture is from Ladder 7 as they are responding in with smoke showing.

The fire was located in the 2500 block of Johnson Ave.

It was actually a storage building / warehouse for CMC Supply (plumbing supplies).

Members arrived to find heavy fire and smoke conditions. Damages are estimated at $300,000.00 and was the result of arson.

This is not the first time Roanoke’s bravest have battled a fire at CMC.

Back in the mid to early 90′s it took multiple alarms and a Department call back to control a blaze at this same location.

The buildings were (and are) full of plumbing supplies… PVC’s, plastics etc.

Yesterday’s fire occurred on B-shift and took the Brothers and Sisters only a few hours to control.

Members broke shift and remained on scene for days following the fire back in the 90′s.

No injuries were reported and by all appearances, the Brothers and Sisters of B-Shift put in some solid work.

One juvenile has been charge with arson while charges are pending on two others.

Find local news coverage HERE.

(more pictures in the link above)

For some odd reason, it seems as if arson is on the rise in Roanoke lately.

Earlier in the week, Roanoke Police arrested a man for ransacking a local Church. 21 year old Nathaniel Alan Lutz has been charged with breaking and entering as well as arson. It’s reported that several items inside had been set on fire. Church members became aware of the break in the following morning and called police. The fires had apparently burned themselves out and the Fire Department did not respond. Read some local coverage HERE .

Here’s a pretty cool video for all our animal lovers out there ( Smurf should REALLY love this one). One of my readers, Pat sent it in for us to take a look at. The video was loaded to YouTube by Jack Hillmann. His description says that while driving, he hit 2 falcons. One was killed and the other trapped under his vehicle. Apparently, Jack stopped at a local firehouse for assistance. I can see “Moline Fire Department” on the side of the rig and will assume it’s Moline IL. If you guys know who these Brothers are, please let me know so I can give them credit. I’m sure their efforts made a lasting and positive impression on Mr Hillmann … a positive public image. WELL DONE Brothers!

Speaking of positive publicity, my last post, “Pride .. Going the extra mile and making a kid smile” has received a fair amount of attention.

Apparently, you guys jumped into action and the cards etc have been rolling in to make little Nathan Norman’s Christmas wish come true.

Nathan is 6yrs old and lives in Rustburg, Va. He is battling terminal cancer and had a special request / wish for Christmas. He’s a huge fan of Firefighters, Police, EMS, and Hospital workers. He wanted (hoped) to receive some Christmas cards / pictures from those of us serving in those positions. Rhett and I sent a shirt, Challenge Coin and card …. apparently a lot of you did as well! THANKS! Here’s a post / update his mom recently posted to Face Book …

“We want to once again just thank everyone for your love and support!!!!! There have been so many cards/gifts/emails/visits from police, fire, ems, border patrol, secret service, etc from all over the country. The entire family is so grateful and humbled by the response of everyone. Just to update: Nathan is still on chemotherapy for hopefully up to 18 months. He is doing well on the chemo and as of last month the tumors were stable (cancer was there just not growing). He is still fighting strong while we pray for a cure!”

Follow Nathan’s Christmas: The Page on Face Book. Click HERE

Another previous post of mine has drawn a lot of attention as well. If you missed “New Firefighting technique developed in Wytheville, Va?” you need to take a minute and read it. Be sure to also read the article from SW Va Today as well …. you’ll LOVE the quotes from Chief King and it’s also what prompted me to write the post (find that article HERE). I did a follow up on the original post and that article can be found HERE . I did the follow up because a few comments I had been receiving. They were obviously from people within or close to the Wytheville Fire Department (or their Auxiliary) and were attempting to defend Chief King and the actions of the WFD.

What still amazes me is that in all of their comments, nobody has offered a rebuttal. They simply continue to question my training, credentials, character and more (including my mustache). They rant about how my information / facts are incorrect yet they fail to offer “their side” of the story.

They still fail to see the seriousness of the issues that were raised and the effects they could have on their Department and community … everything from liability to insurance, ISO ratings and more. Their silence and/or lack of a rebuttal also somewhat implies my information is correct. I also trust my sources to be accurate (one of which being the SW Va Today article where Chief King was quoted). I have spoken directly to at least one of their members over the phone. I even requested a transcript (and/or audio recording) of the incident from their 911 center under the Virginia Freedom Of Information Act . I made the request through Mr Davidson who is listed as “Emergency Mangager/911 Coordinator/Haz-Mat Coordinator” on the County’s web site under the Department of Emergency Management. I believe he is also a member of the Wytheville Fire Department.

My request was made November 21st and on the 26th Mr Davidson responded saying that the incident in question was actually a “Town” call and that he had forwarded the request to the necessary people (their PIO, Chief Dispatcher and Director of Public Safety for the Town). I haven’t received a response from either of these folks as of this post. I added a link to the FOIA a few paragraphs above. To save you the hassle of reading it all, page 5 is where it talks about requesting information and the time frame a Public Body has to respond to a request. Here’s an excerpt .. “Any public body that is subject to this chapter and that is the custodian of the requested records shall promptly, but in all cases within five working days of receiving a request, provide the requested records to the requester or make one of the following responses in writing:” It also says “Failure to respond to a request for records shall be deemed a denial of the request and shall constitute a violation of this chapter”.

I mentioned in my update post that the Wythe County Board of Supervisors has earned faith in being able to make the right vs popular decision on issues such as this. I maintain that faith and hope they work quickly to resolve some of these issues before someone gets seriously injured (or worse). Ok, so back to the comments. I’ve actually stopped replying to many of them. Trying to debate the issues with some of these folks is just a wast of time. It’s like playing cards with my brothers kids or something. Some of them are quite interesting though … like this one posted to my Face Book page from “Jacob” (I’ll need to censor some of it …you’ll understand)

“Wow I am very sorry to say that all your info on Wytheville FD is false. I have 2 presents for you so if you could send me your address you will kindly recieve a rope and a vibrator. GO FK YOURSELF AND HANG YOUR ASS WHEN DONE. Ron King is a great man and the 2 houses that are now a loss is not his fault. One was a fully involved structure fire when they arrived NOT “room and contents fire” like you mentioned. I do not hear the family complaining about the house being gone to the county or even the town. The fd did what they needed to do and thats it. Chief King was smart not to send them inside with hoses and yes you are correct about ONE thing. they used small diameter hoses….. DUH did you really think they were going to drag the 5″ out and carry it into the house. Your eyes must be in your mouth and that mustache is affecting your vision. You also said that you have not heard from the 911 dispatchers or the department.. HMMMMM So where are you getting your information on repsonse time and the fact that they had to call for a tanker. Maybe you should get all your facts together before you start running your damn mouth. OR in this case your fingers. If you are going to bash a fd do it to one that actually has problems like * Springs FD in NC or * cnty FDs since they dont let women in the departments and that ***** Springs has someone in the dpt just a year after he sexually assulted a female in training there. You are a disgrace. Iron firemen my ass. You panzy ass looking shit. Remind me to never live in your departments area. It would take you even longer to get to my house fire because you mustache would slow your asses down”

Rope and a vibrator?? …. WOW! This guy is going all out. He must be rich!

I wonder how he knows about my back ache? I’ve always heard that vibrators can do wonders for a sore back but I’ve never tried one.

I’m so excited in anticipation of these gifts that I researched them on the internet… who knew there were so many options? Different colors even! Decisions …decisions!

I actually though they were called massagers and I would have never guessed that you don’t have to plug them into an outlet anymore? You gotta love the power of batteries.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank Jacob for his comment (and gift offer). It was obviously very well thought out, to the point and very articulate. By simply pointing out that the family is not complaining about their house burning down, or that the WFD members didn’t stretch 5″ in for an attack, he has already educated me beyond my expectations on the issues surrounding these incidents. Maybe I should offer him a “guest post” here on Ironfiremen.com so others can share in his knowledge and experience. Of course, some of the other comments I’ve received are just as good as Jacob’s so I may have to allow for more than one.

I’ll think that one over and meanwhile, you folks stay SAFE and in house!

Captain Wines

Posted by Iron Firemen on December 2, 2012 • Filed under: administration-leadership, command-leadership, Fire Dispatch, fire-rescue-topics, firefighter-safety-health, firefighting-operations, fires, news, rescues, Uncategorized, vehicle-operations-apparatus, videos • Tagged: animal rescues, apparatus accidents, Bedford Fire Department, brotherhood, building fire, Captain Willie Wines Jr, Dave Statter, fire, Fire Critic, fire truck, fire truck crashes, fire truck roll over, firefighter pics, firefighters, house fire, Lt. Rhett Fleitz, Nathan Norman, Roanoke Fire/EMS, Statter 911, Working fire, Wytheville Fire Department

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