In another previous post (“Melt Down”) , I told ya about the “stages of grief” and how grief is as individual as the person suffering through it. We don’t necessarily go through the stages in order and by no means in the same way.
I’m currently working through the “depression” stage (and, I believe; suffering through PTSD).
I was expecting it but have never fully understood exactly what “depression” was. I’m learning the hard way.
My thoughts continue to wonder with every waking moment and it’s difficult for me to focus.
I still can’t eat. I just don’t have an appetite … I’m not hungry. When I try to force myself to eat, I throw it back up so I figure why bother.
I’m sleeping some at night now but I’m not REALLY “sleeping”. I’m tired all the time and can’t motivate myself to get out and do anything. I try to make myself go “somewhere” or do “something” but I don’t. I know I need to.
I haven’t even been able to write (evident in my recent lack of postings and absence from Face Book).
I’m not getting along well with others … I just want to be alone.
All these things seem so petty and easy to fix but they’re not.
That’s the hardest part for me. I know what’s happening and what I need to do ….. I just can’t muster the energy or motivation to get it done.
I have to start climbing my way out of this hole … I thought I have been but it doesn’t feel like I’m making much progress. I can’t stay here (like this) forever.
One of the folks I’ve been seeing offered a prescription for anti-depressants. It’s not for me. There’s a small part of me that almost took her up on it just so I could learn for myself (and share with you folks) if they (the pills) “really” work or not. Unfortunately, I’m not the “pill” taking kind ( I hardly even even take an aspirin) so I won’t be able to tell you “first hand” about anti-depressants. I can tell you that depression is REAL . It’s an illness that can be crippling.
I see a lot of it in the firehouse for one reason or another. Not just in situations like mine (the loss of a loved one) but also over financial issues, marital problems etc. If you want to learn more about depression and take your “Depression IQ quiz”, take a minute and CLICK HERE .
The best thing for me has been talking about it. Getting “it” out of my head and off my chest. I’ve wrote about them a lot here lately but once again, I want to share with you some folks who you CAN TALK TO. People who understand and that do MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
These folks are not just for you or me either. They are there for our Brothers and Sisters as well and it’s up to us to let them know that help is available. PAY ATTENTION … look around you. If someone in your company, your Battalion, Department or whatever is needing help, point them in this direction. You know … firefighter “so and so” whos wife just left him. Ol “what’s his name” from Engine whatever who just took a 3rd mortgage out because he lost his 2nd job. That S.O.B on the Ladder who we all know has been drinking too much …. all these Brothers have someone to turn to. Let them know before it’s too late. Here are the links ….
I had a bad day yesterday. Like most everyday, there’s always something that will remind me of Jackson.
I pulled a tour Saturday (we work 24hr shifts) and when I got home yesterday morning, the Buckaroo was waiting for me. It was 8am , he missed his “Paw-Paw” and wanted to play.
He got his motorcycle toy out. It’s like the old Evil Knievel wind up toy. If you’re a boy and anywhere near my age (44), I’d bet you had one.
I showed him how to use some books / magazines to make a ramp so we could make some jumps down the hallway. It was just how me and Jack did it when we were kids.
I could see us like it was just yesterday. Then the thought hit me (as it always does in situations like this) …. I wanted to call Jackson and tell him what we were doing. He would LOVE it! Knowing that me and the Buckaroo were doing exactly what he and I did as kids. I know he’d remember our ramps … our jumps…. fighting over who went next…. he’d understand and know EXACTLY what we were feeling / doing. He’d have that unforgettable smile on his face just thinking about it.
I’ll never get to make “those” calls again … not to Jackson and it’s killing me. This grief … the depression…. it keeps knocking me down but I won’t let it keep me here.
Like I said in the beginning of this post, I have to start climbing my way out of this hole.
“CLIMBING”…… Seems I wrote about that one time …. back in July of 2011 actually in a post titled “We are all Climbing” (Take the time to hit the link and read that post … I think you’ll find it worthwhile). Stairs, ladders or whatever obstacle, it seems we all are indeed “climbing”.
Me? I’m gonna find my way out …. I’m gonna find that “new normal” because I’m going to keep climbing …. it’s all I know to do.
I’m gonna start by getting out of town again. I’m going to head up north and spend a little time in NYC and out on Long Island.
I’m going to attend the Long Island Fire, Rescue and EMS Mega Show on Feb. 23rd / 24th. I’ll be working the booth with my MN8 FoxFire family but I’ll also be doing what I love best … meeting, spending time with and talking to all the Brothers and Sisters in attendance. I think it will be just what I need to get “moving” again …. to “re-engage” and get “back in the game”.
I’ll get ya more details in the next day or so …. until then, thanks again for all the support. Thanks too for allowing me to share all of this with you …. I LOVE YA ALL!
Face Book is loaded with the messages today. “Never Forget” … “I remember” … “Where were you” etc. Every post I see has something to do with the events that took place 11 years ago today.
Although these statements have merit, I’m not sure they carry the necessary weight.
“Never forget”…. HOW COULD YOU? How could any adult who was alive that day forget what happened? How COULD you forget the images? People jumping, citizens pouring out while firefighters rushed in. The impact of that 2nd plane. The towers crumbling like piles of ash.
“I remember” … I HOPE SO! Citizen or public servant, I hope you remember the sacrifices made. I hope you remember how vulnerable we were and still are as a nation and who stepped up to the “front lines” as we were under attack. I hope you remember what they did to us that day …. what they took from us…. and those they murdered.
“Where were you?” … GLUED TO THE TV … that’s where you were unless you were on scene or responding in to either of the 3 sites. Where ever you were, hopefully; your mind, thoughts and spirits were in Pa, Washington DC and NYC. I know mine were. I’ll tell ya where you were …. In the same place we all were. In a state of disbelief and confusion. Scared, mad and searching for answers. I know EXACTLY where you were because like so many others, I was standing there beside you!
I’m not sure how to express or say what I’m feeling tonight. I’ve been thinking about it all day. I don’t want the words to become “catch phrases”. Something “cool” to say but without meaning or purpose. “Never Forget” should be way more than a slogan on a tee shirt. Saying it is NOT enough. Remembering is not either. Not just once a year when September 11th rolls around.
I met Lee Ielpi almost a year ago now, back in October of 2011. He is the strongest man I’ve ever met. He’s retired from FDNY’s elite Rescue 2 in Brooklyn. His youngest son (Brendan) is on the job today and currently assigned to that same company. His eldest son, Jonathan; was murdered in the attacks of 9/11. Jonathan was also on the job and assigned to Squad 288 in Queens. They lost 19 members that day … more than any other unit in the FDNY.
Lee now runs the 9/11 Tribute Center. “9/11 Tribute Center offers visitors to the World Trade Center site a place where they can connect with people from the September 11th community. Through walking tours, exhibits and programs, the 9/11 Tribute Center offers “Person to Person History,” linking visitors who want to understand and appreciate these historic events with those who experienced them”.
Lee gave Zach Green and I a personal tour of the center. I posted about it HERE . In that post, speaking of Lee and ground zero; I said “he hasn’t left yet”. I feel the same way about me and the Center. A part of me remains there.
You see, one of the exhibits is a set of turn out gear. Not just any gear mind you … Jonathan Ielpi’s gear. It’s like he’s standing right there and Lee has to walk by it every day. What do you think “never forget” means to this man? His son’s turnout coat and helmet! He walks by it everyday to share the story with us. To educate us and the generations to come.
THAT Brothers and Sisters is the meaning of NEVER FORGETTING. I guarantee you that Lee Ielpi REMEMBERS and he knows EXACTLY where he was not just that day but for months following … he was on that pile searching for his son!
Not as Lee does, but I too remember EVERY DAY. I have mentioned (and shown you) here on the site how I have photos of the fallen hanging near my bed. I see their faces every morning as I wake up.
I carry photos from our 9/11 Memorial Stair Climbs in my turnout gear. They are part of my daily / morning check and remind me of the sacrifices made by others as well as of the one I may one day be called to make.
I’ve made the climbs. I even climbed in the shadows of the new Freedom Tower with Rhett and the founding members of the Stair Climb Committee.
I assist the National Fallen Firefighters Foundation anyway I can.
I support and work on behalf of the National Firefighters Endowment.
I leave my family to travel and deliver motivation speeches. I teach classes, promote life saving technology and try to do my part in making a positive impact on the fire service.
It’s more than a t-shirt, helmet sticker or catchy slogan for me. I hope I don’t need any of that crap. I’d rather you know that I remember EVERYDAY and would hope you can tell that by my actions and not by the slogan on some shirt or hat that I’m wearing.
I started “blogging” back in December of 2008 while assigned to Station #9C (The “Melrose Misfits). I never imagined that it would grow into something as big as it has or that it would have been as rewarding as it is. When I was moved from Station #9, I decided to create the Wooden Ladders and Iron Firemen Blog. Later, with Rhett’s help; we shortened the name to Ironfiremen.com and moved over to the Fire/EMS Blog Network. It was the best move I ever made.
The site continues to grow. My views or “hits” have TRIPLED from 2010 to 2011! I’ve always kidded about having 2 readers but obviously, there is a lot more than that. I still don’t understand why …. I don’t even know where I “fit in” as far as the “network” or other sites go.
By that I mean that I’m not sure there is even a “category” for me or the Blog. I’m not a straight forward ”news” or “educational” type of site. I don’t know what folks are looking for when they “click on” or visit Ironfiremen.com but obviously, they’re finding it (or something that keeps em coming back anyway).
One of the things I’m most proud of is having been voted
The distinction of Blog of the Year and the sites growing popularity has opened many doors and propelled us in several directions. Those of you who follow regularly know that Rhett and I have been “on the road” a lot this year and each trip has been related in some way or another to our sites.
Our advertising, promotional, branding and networking efforts has allowed us to meet some amazing people and make many new friends. Not only that, we’ve also become involved with several outstanding organisations within the Fire/EMS industry along the way.
We’ve accomplished so much in 2011 that it would be difficult to pack into a single post. That said, I’ll just hit the month by month highlights for ya and TRY to keep it short …. see if you remember these and ENJOY the “look back” ….
January 2011 . Looking at the stats, my busiest day as far as ”hits” was the 17th. I had 2 posts up that day as Roanoke’s Bravest battled a Multi-Alarm Fire and stupid drivers at a local Days Inn.
You can re-visit those posts on Ironfiremen.com HERE and HERE .
For MORE on that incident from Fire Critic and RoanokeFirefighters.com (including more photos) click HERE and HERE
The 17th may have been the site’s busiest day in January but the fire was not what stands out in my mind as most memorable.
It was January that the Roanoke Fire Department suffered an ” The End of an Era” with the passing of Battalion Chief Bobbie Slayton.
Chief Slayton served the City of Roanoke for nearly 45 years. He had been a Chief longer than I had been on the job. My dad worked for Bobbie as his Chief’s Aid / Driver for many years. Towards the end of his career, he was shuffled from his beloved “B-Shift” to “C” where I had the honor of working for him. Bobbie’s death was a huge loss for our Department. He’s still missed but spoke and thought of often.
He had suffered a stroke on December 26, 2010 and remained hospitalized until his passing on January 8, 2011. He was such an icon to our Department that, in his final days; our Local (IAFF L-1132) had a member “posted” by his hospital room door 24/7. It was only fitting that Captain Craig Sellers was by his side (along with family) when he passed.
The posts following his death were some of the hardest I’ve written. For at least as long as I’m alive, Chief Slayton will never be forgotten.
There’s a GREAT picture of Bobbie and the members of Station #1B with the restored Bell from the tower at now “Historic” Station #1. We now only use the bell for funeral services. The irony is that the bell Chief Slayton worked so hard to refurbish sounded his Final Alarm.
See related posts and photos from VaFireNews.com and RoanokeFirefighters.comHERE and HERE
February 2011 : The post receiving the most hits for February was when we announced winning the Blog of the Year contest but the month was really about football, fires and “support systems”!
There was plenty of fire to go around all across the State. We caught our share and even took in a job with our County Brothers. See that post HERE .
It was also the month that I first introduced a “semi-regular” column here on Ironfireman.com that I call “Tricks of the Trade” .
March 2011 : Things got REALLY busy for me and Rhett in March. Among everything else that happened, we would travel to EMS Today in Baltimore, Md and FDIC in Indianapolis.
FDIC was a BLAST! Rhett presented his class “Social Media in the Fire Service” for the first time … what an HONOR. I filled in and covered his position with Firefighter Netcast where once again I found myself surrounded by some of the top leaders of today’s Fire Service.
Who would have ever figured to see me hanging around folks like Chief Billy Goldfeder or Chief Alan Brucini? (we also met Captain Dugan who gave the Keynote Address along with retired FDNY member Kevin Shea). We met many friends and followers of our sites and made twice as many new ones.
Back at home, I would meet one very special new friend … Father Webb.
Father Webb was just meeting and “feeling us out” back on St. Patty’s Day but now has become our “Official” Fire Department Chaplin.
Chief Adkins fixed up a mess of corned beef and cabbage and we had Father Webb out to share in the meal. This was the beginning of a GREAT relationship between our members and Father Webb. I was and remain excited to have him on and at our side. I hope the relationship continues to grow and can mimic the one shared by Father Judge and the FDNY. See my related post HERE
Special THANKS to our Network boss Dave Iannone for the invite. It was a great oppurtunity where once again I was able to meet and talk with many well respected members of the Fire Service.
April was also the month where we had our biggest “Give Away” to date. After winning the Blog of the Year contest, I figured what better way to say “THANKS” to my readers than to give away a pair of Black Diamond X2 Boots? No “el-cheap-o, contesto’s” here baby … that was a high dollar pair of boots! Congratulations to loyal reader / follower Patrick Lynch of St. Michael’s College Fire & Rescue in Colchester, VT. on winning the boots. What was really cool was how we announced the winner …. watch this..
May 2011 : May would have me traveling the farther than I ever have. Thanks to the Roanoke Rampage Football Team, I would make my way out to California!
There were several highlights to this trip but the most notable would be getting to see my baby sister Jessi and meeting Captain Joe Schmoe of Report on Conditionsfor the first time.
Be sure to hit those links … it was a GREAT trip despite our loss on the field.
I continued to make new friends and meet readers and followers of the site. Casey Potter, wife of loyal follower and fan; Chris Potter invited me down for a surprise Birthday Party for Chris …. how could I not have attended?? See that post HERE .
The biggest news however would come on a GLOBAL level ….
We FINALLY KILLED THAT SON OF A BITCH!
I was on duty and glued to the TV. Emotion overtook me and I cried. I cried tears of joy and sorrow.
For me, it was like living the day of the attacks all over again. My mind was flooded with memories and emotion.
The tears of joy were of his death but the tears of sorrow were for the families of those he murdered. I knew that even then … at his death … he would cause pain to those left behind.
I hope our 343 fallen can now rest in peace. I hope his death brings some sort of comfort to the families left behind and like the Daily News so eloquently says .. I hope he ROTS IN HELL !
June 2011 : Big fires and more funerals.
We buried another member in June. Firefighter/Paramedic David “Dave” Palmer lost his battle with cancer. His was to be our 2nd LODD (Line Of Duty Death) since 2009.
“Big Dave” and I go WAY back. I made Captain in 2000 and was assigned to station #3 ( now considered “old” Station #3 and CLOSED which was located at 6th and Rorer) where we would work together.
Like Chief Slayton, Big Dave will not be forgotten either. I quite often find myself telling stories involving him in one way or another. Things were different back then .. it felt more like a “Fire Department” and we had a lot of fun while getting the job done.
The picture upper right is our crew standing in front of Engine and Medic #3 at the Station. Pictured from L-R is Dave Palmer, Mike Pruitt, Brad Creasy, Lt Richard “Patty” Patterson and myself.
See my related post HERE and coverage from Va Fire News HERE
June would also find me and Rhett together on the fire ground!
I was the Acting Battalion Chief while Rhett was riding the “seat” of of the 1st in Engine (#3) when we caught this 2nd alarm fire.
It was the first time in a while since Rhett and I had been together on a fire. This time however, it was me stuck out in the street and Rhett putting in the work.
I arrived 1st and upgraded the incident to a 2nd Alarm. I was able to catch some pretty good photos while doing my walk around and size up. This pic was taken just as Rhett and his crew were making entry. Some solid work put in on this one!
July 2011 : A new Rookie, Never Forgetting and Honoring our fallen!
July brought Firehouse Expo in Baltimore, Md. and our first 9/11 Memorial Stair Climb.
That climb (and the ones to follow) changed me forever. I’ve described the experience as beyond emotional and more near spiritual. I think I captured some of it in my postings because they remain my “most visited”
July as brought me a new “Rookie” Firefighter …. RANDY!
Randy Armbrister from Max Meadows, Va. The picture left was Randy on his 1st day out in the Company.
I wanted to make sure he knew and was comfortable in his SCBA so he started the morning with it on. He checked equipment, cleaned the station and even mowed the lawn with it on.
You’ve seen and read about Randy quite a bit here on the site and I have to admit that it’s been refreshing having a “Rookie” in the house.
It’s kept us busy and even allowed us “older” members to “pick up the pace” a little in an effort to assure Randy is well trained and ready for whatever is thrown at us. Randy has (and continues to ) met all expectations and challenges with a willingness to learn and a smile. He’s only disappointed me once but we corrected that problem QUICK. Read ” I had to PULL THE BOOK ” by clicking HERE .
August 2011 : What a month! Fire rescue International in Atlanta, Ga, our 2nd 9/11 Memorial Stair Climb, Randy’s 1st fire and a GAY BAR !
I cried a lot in Atlanta … I get choked up now even thinking about it. Rhett and I would make our 2nd 9/11 Memorial Stair Climb and this one would impact me even more than our first.
There were several things that happened in Atlanta that I will carry with me until I die
Before our climb, I remembered an e-mail I had received from my youngest daughter (Reba) back before our 1st climb in Baltimore. I had obviously saved it and opened and read it once again before our assent in Atlanta. I want to share that e-mail with you again …
“Dad , today after reading your most recent blog ” we are all climbing ” I wanted to tell you ….. Your the most amazing selfless person I know … You work so hard to save people you don’t even know and at the same time are working just hard to save all of us … You use your spare time to spread the word of your great profession that in my opinion (and yours) you can’t call a ” job” it’s just something you were meant to do …. There is no one else in this world like you !!!! ( well the buckaroo and I – but we are exceptions bc we are only a mold ) …. Good luck on your climb I know you can do it ESP bc of the cause but also because I’ve never seen ANYTHING you can’t do !!!! ( well you might not be able to carry Rhett lol unless u had to ) ….. Anywho …. Just wanted to let you know your amazing in everything you do and the buckaroo and I love and miss you very much …. Be safe have fun , Love .. Reba and YOUR buckaroo ”
How AWESOME is that?
I learned the same things listed in that e-mail about Rhett that day. I had “known” it but never really seen it until that climb.
Rhett and I are a lot alike, especially when it comes to Brotherhood and the job. We climb alike and for the same reasons… it’s a MEMORIAL.
We were HONORED to be in the 1st group up in Atlanta but quickly learned that we were attached to the “wrong” group. Lucky for us, they didn’t “get it” and soon left us behind. It was how it should have been … Rhett and I alone in that stairway … paying our respects. It was then that he brought me to tears and showed me what the words HONOR and RESPECT were all about.
Rhett was having a tough time with this climb. No breaks, no water, for whatever reason; he was struggling. Near the top, he stopped and turned around … I though he was quitting. ” I missed one” he said. He wasn’t quitting, he had missed a step, turned around and climbed that flight AGAIN! Nobody would have ever know right?? WRONG …. he would have. As bad as he was hurting, HE CLIMBED IT AGAIN ! BROTHERHOOD, HONOR,TRADITION,PRIDE and RESPECT … we live by it!
There was a lot more that happened on this trip …. We got to meet and share a meal withCaptain Mark Akins ( now Battalion Chief) and his crew from John’s Creek Station #63. See that post HERE
Rhett launch a new web site ( Daily911 Deals.com ) with partner Jeff Harkey while I worked the booth with Zach Green and Fox Fire.
I know it’s hard to believe but the trip ended up with us eating at a gay restaurant..yea… I was gonna kill him!
Funeral arrangements and details from the Gay Restaurant HERE and everything else Atlanta HERE
September 2011 : Pink shirts, more fire for Randy and our 3rd 9/11 Memorial Stair Climb!
Obviously, the most memorable for me was the Climb. Not only was it the 3rd for me and Rhett, we would make it on the 10th anniversary of the attacks and my dad would climb with us!
Kevin Totten and Tommy Warshaw joined us again while Bill Carey climbed with us for the 1st time. Rhett’s son Preston made it most of the way and Dad even carried the Buckaroo for one flight. Hit the link above .. it’s a good read.
October 2011 : The 30th Annual National Fallen Firefighter’s Memorial Weekend and an UNBELIEVABLE trip to New York City!
This would be my 2nd year attending the Memorial Weekend and I would find it just as emotional as the first.
Rhett and I were there fulfilling obligations with Firefighter Netcast. We had the honor of recording stories from the survivors. Once again, a lot of tears were shed as we listened to the families share their stories of our fallen Brothers and Sisters.
The Memorial Weekend is every October and if you’ve never attended .. MAKE PLANS NOW!
Rhett and I also made a trip up to the Big Apple. He was teaching Social Media in NJ and I was assisting Zach Green and Fox Fire in the City.
It was an AMAZING trip because neither Rhett nor I had been to the City since the attacks. It was a humbling experience.
While Rhett was teaching, Chief Billy Goldfeder had set Zach and I up with a personal tour of the Tribute Center. Co Founder Lee Ielpi would conduct the tour.
Lee is a retired member of FDNY’s Rescue 2 and lost his son, Jonathan; was on the job and assigned to FDNY Squad 288. Jonathan was murdered on September 11, 2001 in the attacks on the Trade Center and Lee would spend the next 3 months searching for his body. I don’t believe Lee has really EVER left that site since.
I can’t describe the tour he gave us … for whatever reason, there was a “bond” between us. Lee kept a hand on me the entire time, I can feel his touch even now as I reflect on our time together. It was a “father’s” touch and one I will cherish.
They recovered Jonathan’s body mostly in tact. They also were able to recover his turnout gear. That gear is on display at the Tribute Center. Lee wants us all to see that set of gear and to know the story behind it. Us .. me, you, him, her and our children. He suffers the pain of passing by that gear EVERYDAY hoping that we can all learn from this horrible act. If you’re ever in New York … GO!
December : Rhett and I returned to GROUND ZERO and made our 4th Memorial Stair Climb!
Not only was it our 4th climb, it was in New York City, at Ground Zero and in the shadows of The Freedom Tower ( 1 World Trade Center ) !
We were there helping out the National Fallen Firefighter’s Foundation.
Founding members of some of the 1st organized Memorial Stair Climbs, Oren Bersagel-Briese, Scott Eckels, Josh Smith, Brian Bush and Shawn Dunston ( along with Dave Statter) were also there.
Even though it was not “Official”, there was no way that we were going to be this close to Ground Zero, with this group of Brothers and NOT make a climb in Memory and Honor of our 343 fallen Brothers. SO WE CLIMBED ! We finished on the roof top looking down on the site where our Brothers had fallen. Where so many lives were lost and Heroes remain.
Rhett and I have been climbing so long and hard that we never really knew where we were going … WE FOUND IT THERE !
I’m not sure what I’ve done to deserve the life I’ve been given this past year but I am truly THANKFUL. Together, Rhett and I have made the journey of a lifetime in just a few short years. I can only imagine what 2012 will bring us.
I want to say THANKS to my wife (Donna) and entire family for the love, support and for putting up with me all this time. Thanks to Rhett for the friendship, the BROTHERHOOD and for taking me along. THANKS as well to you .. our readers because it is your support that has allowed us these opportunities. I hope, that if even in the smallest of ways; that we’ve been able to give something back in return!
Stay SAFE and in House and I’ll see you next year!
I really haven’t checked in with a “full” post since our 9/11 Memorial Stair Climb in Greenbelt, Md back on the 11th. I received a TON of e-mails, text messages and comments on the site from that post ( I Cried ) … THANKS!
I was hesitant to hit the “publish” button on that post. I had so much I wanted to say and share that I thought it came off as “rambling” and maybe even kinda “cheesy”. Those of you who follow me regularly know that YES .. I do get emotional because I am passionate about the job. Sometimes, it’s difficult for me to control those emotions. The bad thing is that I type like I talk (and think ) and always say whats on my mind. Sometimes ( in my postings ) it comes across ok … other times not so much.
The message I was trying to deliver was how honored and proud I was to have participated in this climb. It was the 3rd climb this year for Rhett ( Fire Critic ) and I and, our 2nd with Kevin Totten and Tommy Warshaw. I got to climb with my dad who is retired from the job with right at 30 yrs while Rhett climbed with his 8 yr old son!
More than telling our story, I wanted to inspire you to experience your own.
I’m sure these climbs will hold a different meaning for each climber while Im just as sure that you’ll have to climb to find it. Other than climbing on the rigs everyday and performing our duties with PROFESSIONALISM, PRIDE and HONOR I can’t think of a better way to honor the 343 FDNY fallen.
I had mentioned in my post how we were planning to climb in Richmond before Chief Bashoor invited us to Greenbelt. What I failed to mention was that 4 of our brothers from Roanoke did attend the Richmond climb! You guys may remember a past Lieutenant of mine from back in the Melrose Misfit days … Rob “Bugg” Reid. If not, CLICK HERE for a great post and the chance to meet “Bugg”. He had wanted to organize a climb here in “The Noke” but couldn’t get the details worked out with the “powers to be”. They represented us well and even climbed with their SCBA ! THANKS …. CONGRATULATIONS and WELL DONE men!
So, obviously, Im back to work. Laast cycle was a mess due to my being off for the climb, Boots being on vacation and Georgie off sick. Little Randy stayed at Lucky #13 one day but would ship out to ride the Medic on the last day of the cycle.
He ran out of Station #5 and had a pretty busy tour.
He continues to see and hear things that aren’t an everyday occurance down in Max Meadows, Va.
He was almost involved in a fist fight and bitten. Yea …. BITTEN (he said she was tougher than she looked..LOL)
We also managed to squeeze in a little SWR (Swift Water Rescue) training …. just wait till little Miss Dana sees him in his new vest and fancy hat!
So, we took a 4-day break and returned to duty this morning. It’s gonna be a long cycle! Once again, I’m riding as the “North Side” Battalion Chief. For some reason, whenever I ride “the car”; we’re busy. This cycle has already started out that way!
I rolled into the Chief’s Office this morning with a full schedule. Every Captain and 1st Lieutenant on the shift had manditory “Harassment in the work place” training …. WooooooHooooo !!
We also had “night training” scheduled for Station #5 at our Regional Training center beginning at 19:00 (7pm).
Take the busiest company in the Battalion out of service for a while and “something” is bound to happen..right?
The call went out as a stove on fire.
Boots got Georgie and Randy in first for a quick save.
This one could have turned bad QUICKLY.
There’s also a quick and simple PSA from this incident … NEVER leave pots / pans unattended while cooking.
A 2nd PSA is to install smoke detectors and assure they have working batteries. The detectors in this house alerted the two occupants and allowed them to exit the home safely before our arrival.
The night is young yet and I sure hope things quiet down a bit. I have a busy day on the farm tomorrow and the next two days here is looking full as well. Tomorrow evening, Rhett and I will get to meet another reader / follower of our sites. Captain Joe Lyons from the Westfield Fire Department in Indiana will be stopping in town. Rhett and I will give him the nickel tour of our city, make sure he gets a good meal and share a few stories over a cold adult beverage. I believe the Capt will be in town to visit our local ladder truck manufactoring company.
On Thursday, when I return to duty; we will be holding our 4th Annual Officer’s Seminar. This year, our featured speaker will be Retired Deputy Chief James P. Smith from the Philadelphia Fire Department !
This is a GREAT OPPURTUNITY for our area firefighters.
The Chief’s topic will be “Strategic and Tactical Considerations on the Fireground” This is one of many topics that Chief Smith lectures on across the Country.
This will be a 2 day seminar (same presentation, Thursday and Friday 08:30-16:30) and there may still be space available. If interested, contact one of the Chiefs listed on the registration form above / left.
Saturday will be the last day of our cycle but another full one as well. I have an Airport Mass Casulity Drill scheduled in the morning and our “Fired Up For A Cure” event that evening.
Not only will I be there, I’ll be wearing a pink shirt. YEA … a PINK shirt!
I’ll post more on the shirt deal tomorrow or next day.
I know …I know … I’m a fireman. Well guess what ??? Firemen are HUMAN … we have feelings and emotion. Most of the time, we are able to set them aside, to hide them from our friends, family and the public. I haven’t been doing such a good job of that here lately and for good reason.
Although I have NEVER FORGOTTEN, the 10th Anniversary of the 9/11 attacks on our freedom has hit me harder than I had anticipated. Again, this happened for many reasons. I think of those 343 EVERY DAY. When I say that, I mean EVERY DAY. Especially on the days that I’m pulling a tour but those guys and the events of that day cross my mind DAILY.
I feel a sense on HONOR and PRIDE for those brave men who in a way, validated my job life . I AM a fireman and from that, I can not hide. I was raised in a fireman’s home. I watched dad go to work for 24 hours at a time. He missed ball games, dances etc and at that age, I never really understood why.
I wish I could say that I’ve matured … I haven’t. That said, without a doubt; I’ve aged. Now, I too am a fireman who has missed just as many games, dances and events. Like my father, and those 343; I have devoted my life’s work to those I have never even met. Because of that, our families have suffered. I wish they hadn’t.
It’s actually very ironic when you think about it. We depend on the “BROTHERHOOD” to make it back to our families, yet it is that same brotherhood that most often keeps us away. There is always a member needing help painting the baby’s room or building a new deck. After a bad tour we always end up out together for a few beers and an egg sandwich. This trip or that, this conference or another or trading time / working for this brother or the other.
I wonder if I could trade places with any of those 343 if they would come back to be better fathers, brothers, sons or husbands. It pains me that even today, after all this; that I am not. I don’t know how to separate the two … home and the job. I will say that those 343 have inspired me to do so. Every day could be my last and I’m not so sure that simply being a “good fireman” is enough anymore.
Today, I’m a much better grandfather than I ever was a father. I’m a better husband, son and person as a whole. That doesn’t absolve me of my wrongs in the past but those 343 and the events of that day have me on the right path. I hope they know how much positive has come from their sacrifice. I hope their families know that if even in the smallest of ways … some good has come from their loss.
So yes, I CRY. I cry because it took the death of 343 of my brothers for me to understand that there is more to this job than putting out fires. There is more to the meaning of the word “BROTHERHOOD” than painting someone’s basement, building a deck or drinking a few beers. I cry because better men than I lost their lives that day.
My tears were multiplied this weekend. It’s a long story so hang with me. By now, you all know that Rhett and I have participated in the 9/11 Memorial Stair Climbs. THIS IS NO EASY TASK. Rhett and I have always done the climbs in turnout gear vs shorts, tennis shoes and tee-shirts because thats as close as we could come to what those 343 had on that day ( most stair climb rules / regulations specifically say no SCBA, hose or tools despite a lot of that showing up this past weekend). If nothing else, we wanted to experience a part of what they did that day. WE’VE ACCOMPLISHED THAT AND MORE !
Before this weekend, we’ve completed two climbs … one in Baltimore, the other in Atlanta. Greenbelt, Md would be our 3rd and it would come on September 11th … the 10th anniversary.
Rhett is my best friend. Although he is younger, I look up to him in many ways. Not only is he a good fireman, he is also a great father, husband and member of his community. I hope I learn and grow to be half the man he is.
Although I don’t show it, we share a lot of the same values and principles. We think alike. The climbs have always been “spiritual” for us. We’ve climbed for the 343, for those left behind, for our families and ourselves.
This climb would be different in many ways. One of the things that “hit us” in our previous climbs was the fact that we’ve never had 343 climbers. We understood the hesitation to participate but would never have imagined that less than 343 would register. We too were nervous. Our names and faces are “out there” . What if we couldn’t make it? We knew we had the heart … but what about the legs? Come to find out, it was (and is) never really about completing the climb. We’ve said from day one that if you want to climb and are at the same event as we are, we’ll walk WITH YOU … no matter how long it takes. We wanted to finish the 110 stories that our brothers weren’t allowed to but after the 1st climb realized that just being in those stairwells was enough … like them, we SHOWED UP!
Although it shouldn’t be needed, we wanted a way to draw and thank the participants. We contacted our good friend and Brother Zach Green from FoxFire …an MN8 Company. You have seen Zach and the FoxFire products many times here on this site as well as over on FireCritic. They offer a GREAT product that is the biggest innovation that I’ve seen in the fire service in the past 20 yrs. ….IT’S THAT GOOD!
Anyway, we told Zach … you have to give us 343 Illuminating Helmet Bands to pass out at the climb. He was on board from the get- go ! Not only did he send the bands, he had some special made. This Limited Edition band has the FoxFire logo in the color orange. Not only that, Zach also hand numbered each one to be 1-343 “of” 343 ! HOW AWESOME IS THAT ?!? Zach couldn’t attend the Greenbelt climb in person but was there in spirit. We assured him that every climber would receive one …. they did. Rhett and I had the honor of presenting the bands to the organizers and NFFF staff on the morning of the climb …. I cried again. If these bands save only 1 fireman’s life …. it was WORTH IT and I am proud to have been a part of it. Special THANKS to Zach and FoxFire for all they do to keep us alive!
So, we had secured the bands and Zach wanted to know which hotel we would be staying at so he could ship them down. Hummmmm …. hotel? Another GREAT friend of ours, the Foundation (NFFF) and the Fire Service as a whole; DAVE STATTER knew we were headed up and made a call. We were gonna stay at Dave’s house …. no “if’s, and’s or but’s ” about it. Yea … the FireCritic, Statter911 and Ironfiremen.com under the same roof ! COOL !
Actually, that was a huge gesture and example of brotherhood shown by Dave and his family. Come to think of it, Dave is the reason that we were in Greenbelt to climb in the first place. Back at Firehouse Expo in Baltimore, Dave Hillary took a group of us out to an O’s game. Basically, it was some big name Chiefs, some bigger name PIO’s, with me and Rhett thrown in to pass the beer and Cracker Jacks down the isles…LOL. All kidding aside, PG County’s Fire Chief Mark Bashoor was there and sat next to us. We had a great conversation and he invited us up for the Greenbelt climb. How could we refuse ? If Chief Bashoor wanted us in Md, that’s where we would be!
This was a HUGE gesture on Rhett’s part that not many (other than me) know or will understand. We had been planning all along to climb in Richmond. Richmond is special to Rhett. He worked and lived there before moving to Roanoke. When the Chief extended his invitation, Rhett never said a word or hesitated … we graciously and humbly accepted.
The other thing is that Statter didn’t just open his home to me and Rhett … we had others traveling with us as well. Rhett would bring is 8yr old son Preston while my dad and step-mother would accompany me. Special THANKS to Dave, Hillary and Sam for allowing us to share their home!
So I’m getting ahead of myself here …. the 5 of us load into Rhett’s mini-van and head north. Greenbelt, Md … our 3rd memorial Stair Climb! Pop was driving, I was mixing and Rhett was drinking. This was going to be a good trip!
On the way to Statter’s mansion, we took a quick detour into one of Fairfax City’s Fire Stations. It was Saturday and we all knew what guests on a weekend are like so we kept our visit short.
The guys made us feel at home and even said they followed our sites … COOL ! Dad … it was like he had never even retired … I think he was already enjoying the trip. A great stop …. THANKS GUYS !
We made it to Statter’s and got busy. We had 343 envelopes to stuff with the Limited Edition Helmet Bands. EVERYONE went to work and Robyn and Hillary had us organized and ready to go in no time. The rest of the evening was spent over drinks, a great meal and conversation among friends.
We awoke early to head out for the Maryland Trade Center.
The part that I haven’t mentioned yet is the fact that dad was along to make the climb with us! YEA… HE WAS GOING TO CLIMB ! There are a thousand reasons why I wanted dad with me this day. We had spent the day and days after September 11, 2001 together, glued to the TV. We shared in the horrors that unfolded as only a father and son on the job can. We didn’t speak out loud much but neither had to. Some of my most graphic memories from that day involve being with my father. I needed him then and would again 10 yrs later.
I was worried about asking. I didn’t know how he would feel or if he would even able to make a climb. I didn’t even get the words out before he said he was comming! The local paper even did an interview … see that article HERE .
I said earlier that for me and Rhett, these climbs are spiritual. Often times, if a group is talking or cheering behind us in the stairwell; we’ll slow to allow them to pass. We climb in silence … remembering and honoring those who climbed before us. For us, it’s more about reflection than achieving a goal…. it’s a memorial. My dad being there with me would take me to a much higher level. I wept with PRIDE.
I was HONORED to climb with the men of group #7 in Greenbelt, Md ! Obviously my dad. Rhett goes without saying as well … it was our 3rd. My GREAT friend and Brother from Salem Fire/EMS, Captain Kevin Totten joined us for the 2nd time. Kevin also climbed Baltimore with us. Tommy Warshaw (who also made the Baltimore climb but wasn’t in our group) and Bill Carey from Back Step Firefighter. We ended up with a 7th member … Rhett’s son Preston!
For me and Rhett, these climbs seem to work in the opposite direction … each one has gotten more difficult. Greenbelt was to be my hardest of all. I was injured. I don’t say this as making an excuse or whining but I was HURT. I had pulled my back in a freak incident on Friday while out with my dad. I could hardly walk. I think it added to dad’s stress because he did everything in his power to have me sit this one out. He even offered it as in he would climb “in my place”. YOU JUST CAN’T DO THAT ! Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here to type this post … I would have taken someone’s “place” back in 2001.
Preston made about 80 floors! I was the “weak link” in the group. We were making left hand turns in the stairs and that was the worst case scenario for my back. We had to stop briefly 3 times. Kevin and Bill actually assisted me for several stories. Dad knew I was hurting … he wanted me to drop my gear. At one point, I took my coat off for about 5 stories and he carried it …. I cried again.
I will never forget that image of my dad carrying my coat so that I could finish the climb … so we could finish it together! I will also never forget Tottin scooping me under his arms and telling me “lean on me … I gotcha”. THAT’S WHAT THESE CLIMBS ARE ALL ABOUT!
Of course I never doubted the heart of ANY of our members but was humbled to share in their sacrifice. He were ALL HURTING but some took on more.
I cried as we walked in the door for our first assent. Dad lead the way for the entire 110 stories. I followed humbled once again by the example he has set. “Pop” (as I call him) has been retired for 8 years now. He doesn’t visit stations much … they’ve all changed. Yet, he came out of retirement, with no conditioning; for this! I don’t think he even broke a sweat. THAT’S MY DAD !
After our climb, Pop wanted to take the Buckaroo in. My wife (Donna) and daughters (Randi and Reba) drove up to watch and cheer us on. Obviously, the Buckaroo was with them (I think he even drove…lol).
That was another time I cried. When we came down and I seen my “girls” and the Buckaroo standing there, I was overcome with emotion. After all they have suffered and sacrificed through, because of my being on the job; they continue to love and support me!
Pop and I took the Buckaroo up the elevators and got off 1 floor below the top.
Both of us were already spent but this was something we wanted and needed to do.
Dad carried the Buckaroo that entire story. The Buckaroo never spoke a word. I’m sure he didn’t know what or why we were doing this but also know that he must have known that it was for some special reason.
That made 3 generations of the Wines family in that stairwell, 10 years to the day after the attacks. I’m sure the Buckaroo will learn of those events once he begins school but I also know that he will learn a much different and more personal perspective from us.
I hope that is the only stairs the little fella will have to climb. I also know it wont be.
Like I’ve said before, we are all climbing in one sense or another.
The comfort is knowing that we aren’t climbing alone. I received several phone calls and text messages that morning to thanks us and wish us well. I carried their thoughts and wishes as we climbed.
If you participated in a 9/11 Memorial Stair Climb .. THANK YOU and congratulations!
I hope you found what you were searching for …. I know I have.
I’ve asked myself that question thousands of times since the attacks on our Nation back in 2001. My dad, Rhett (The FireCritic), Todd “Boots” Harris and myself recently sat down for an interview with Roanoke Times reporter Jorge Valencia. It was a GREAT interview and I hope he realizes what he was able to capture on his recorder.
We sat around a table at The Second Alarm, a bar that Boots and his dad (also retired from Roanoke Fire Department) has owned and operated for over 30 years. As most firemen are, we were slow and hesitant to talk at first but, after we got started; we totally forgot Jorge was even at the table. A lot of what he head was fireman to fireman. Brother to brother and Father to son.
Dad called me that morning in 2001 and said for me to get to our shop asap. We stood together, in horror, attached to our small TV for days. We didn’t talk much … we didn’t have to. We knew what the other was thinking … we were sharing it together. We tried to explain to Jorge that what made it so bad was the fact that we had the “inside scoop”. He knew (or at least had an idea of) what our FDNY Brothers were facing. When the first tower fell, dad simply said in a crackled voice ” we just lost a bunch of firemen “.
It didn’t need spoken, I think he was thinking out loud while his mind was trying to equate what we had just witnessed. I knew all too well what that collapse meant and said a silent prayer that that our brothers had went quick and painless.
I had been to NYC several times. It started with good friend and Brother Captain Todd Stone. We went together for St. Patrick’s Day and had the honor of riding Rescue 4 in Queens. Following that trip, I returned every year. That’s when I got to ride with Rescue 1 in Manhattan and when I met Joey Angelini ( I would later make my stays at 39/16). Joey made a huge impression on me.
Visitors and guest to a firehouse is a “work detail” of sorts. Someone needs to be assigned to show them around … answer the questions etc. In a smaller Department it’s not such a big deal. The FDNY is swamped with visitors, guest and “buffs”. Typically, the fireman on “watch”, the rookie or less senior man would be assigned to a visitor. After I explained that both my father and I were on the job (in the same Department) back in Va, Joey stepped in. He didn’t have to and it wasn’t expected. Joey was the most senior man in the FDNY. He was also the oldest “in company” and he was on the busiest rig in the city … RESCUE 1 … the elite of the ELITE.
I stuck to him like glue for the entire tour. We caught a bunch of runs and made it to 4 fires that day. It was an awesome experience. Joey spoke of his son, Joey Jr. I could see the pride in his face and hear it in his voice. It was then that I realized how my dad must feel. How I hoped he felt anyway. I wondered about Joey Jr and if he was as proud of his father as I was of mine. Back in “The Noke”, my dad was known as one of, if not THE best firemen on the job. At a minimum, he had the reputation of being a good fireman .. a “good Jake”.
Anyway, I knew Brothers on the job in FDNY. Knew their faces and names. After watching the towers collapse, I knew I had to go. I didn’t know what I could / would do but it had to be better than standing there, watching on TV. Dad stopped me. He didn’t tell me not to go, he simply reminded me that we had a job to do here as well. I had just made Captain and was assigned to the busiest house here in our City. He told me to get my crew in order. To make sure they were all ok and “ready” for whatever may come next. We were under attack and had no idea of what (or where) was coming next. He was right. I called up to 39/16 the following day and they told me not to come. They were swamped with firemen and 1st responders. The massive influx of personnel was only adding to the chaos. It was difficult for me to be here and watch as everything unfolded in New York and DC. but I stayed. That was my job.
I’m not sure what Jorge was looking for in his interview. I think he was wondering how the Fire Department (and it’s firemen) has changed since 9/11. It ended up being a “round table” between several good firemen. I’m not so sure he would have wanted my “take” on how we’ve changed. Are we better or worse? That’s the question everyone else is asking.
I think we’ve made some great steps forward but at the same time feel as if we are no better off today then we were on September 10, 2011. In the days, weeks and months following 9/11, the Fire Service as a whole received some much needed validation. For years, we were looked at as overpaid workers who spent all day playing cards, pulling practical jokes and sleeping. Nobody realized what we actually do. Social Media and all these other outlets were unheard of and nobody was there to tell our stories or promote our profession.
On 9/11, we were front page. Firefighters were front page of every newspaper and the lead story of every news cast. The world got a close up, first hand view of why we are on the job and what we do. We lost 343 Brothers from the FDNY that day and as bad as it sounds, it was almost a kind of validation for our job. Firemen across this Country will give their lives to save others…. people we have never meet and don’t even know. Any one of those 343 could have turned and ran. They could have found a reason to “hang back”. THEY DIDN’T ! They kept climbing. They pushed in and up knowing what we all did … this wasn’t going to have a good ending. That’s why we (the Fire Service) say “Well Done” to our fallen…. they’ve done their job and they did it well.
I never understood as a child that every time Dad went to the firehouse that he may not have returned. Not until I got on the job and realized how many times he must have came close to that realization. I don’t think my children ever really knew. I’m not sure they know now.
In my opinion, it all faded too quickly. People aren’t shaking our hands at the grocery store any more. We didn’t have 20 visitors to the station last week. Folks don’t just stop by to say “Thanks”. Today, much like pre-9/11; the Fire Service is faced with budget issues, under staffing, station closures etc. I guess for some, it may be a comfort to know that it only took less than 10 years to forget. For me, it’s heart breaking!
In the last week or so, memories have been awakened. We’ve had visitors, folks wanting to take pictures and conduct interviews. Ceremonies and services have been planned and all the politicians will be there. Arms around firemen or survivors waving the flag of we haven’t forgotten. Where were you last year? How about the year before? Back when we were fighting for that pay raise that we haven’t seen in 4 years? When we warned against and was fighting the closing and consolidation of 2 of the busiest stations in the City? Why were you not looking for photo ops when we were battling staffing cuts? I would be happier had we not received any of the accolades we did following 9/11. I would have much rather kept working and fighting ”status quo” . That would have been better than receiving all that we did just to see it taken away years later. It would have been easier to have kept working “without” rather than “loosing” what we had gained ….easier to swallow anyway.
I’m not sure about the public but I do think that our politicians have forgotten. Our Brothers?? Firefighters ??? NEVER! We can / will NEVER FORGET. We live it everyday. I do. Not a day goes by that I don’t think back to September 11, 2001 and the sacrifices made that day. And, despite all the political issues etc. I still stand ready to do my job… willing to lay down my life for yours.
None of this made Jorge’s article. Instead, he focused on another aspect of the conversation …. how we honor and remember the fallen. Rhett and I have been participating in 9/11 Memorial Stair Climbs. To date, we have completed 2 climbs ( Baltimore and Atlanta). Tomorrow, we will make our 3rd in Greenbelt, Md !
These climbs are beyond description as far as I’m concerned. I have described it several times as “spiritual” and, for me; it is. Tomorrow’s climb will be so much more. MY DAD WILL BE CLIMBING WITH US! I get emotional just thinking about it …. after 30 years on the job, 6 years retired, my dad (Pop) will climb 110 stories in memory and honor of those 343. As I do with for him, I also think that in part, he’s climbing for me. For those of us left to finish “the climb”. The climb of the Fire Service … of our profession … our calling.
Our climbs benefit the National Fallen Firefighter’s Foundation. Registration fees and money raised go towards supporting the families of our fallen. Not just those lost on 9/11 but every fireman who was died in the line of duty. It’s the least we can do! If you’ve never attended the Memorial weekend services in Emmitsburg, Md…. YOU SHOULD! Make plans now to attend this October. Visit the National Fallen Firefighter’s Foundation web site for complete details of stair climbs and the Memorial weekend.
I think the above links are some of the best posts Rhett (FireCritic) and I have ever made. They are heart felt, open and honest. If you haven’t taken the time to read them .. please do. I hope you’ll find in our words what we did in those stairwells.
There are several more things that will make our climb tomorrow special. One is that our families (or part of them anyway) will be there. A firefighters family often times sacrifices as much as the fireman himself. I can’t tell you how many ball games, practices etc that I’ve missed because of the job. My wife … well just let me say that there should be a special place in heaven reserved just for her. To have put up with me, my schedule and this job for 25 yrs is an achievement in it’s self. I love her more than words can say (more than I’ve ever been able to tell or show her) and tomorrow she will share in my climb. She will be there watching…cheering … and I’m sure reflecting on her experiences / losses as a firefighter’s wife. My daughters, Randi-Jo and Reba will also be there along with the Buckaroo. Rhett’s wife and daughter will not be able to make it up but his son, Preston aka “Big P” is making the journey with us! What and HONOR and BLESSING to have such wonderful families.
Another cool thing is that Rhett and I have helped coordinate a special “gift” for the members climbing in Greenbelt tomorrow. Zach Green of FoxFire and MN8 Products has made a limited edition, one time ONLY; commemorative Helmet Band for the climbers. The bands will be numbered 1-343 “of” 343 and will be given to each climber! WOW !!!! What an awesome gift! These bands along with the many other “illuminating” products offered my FoxFire and MN8 are changing the way we fight fire. Their products will SAVE FIREMEN”S LIVES. If you’re not familiar with or have never heard of FoxFire, CLICK THE LINK ABOVE … your life is WORTH it!
I speak with Zach often and in our last conversation last night, he became emotional. He cried. He can’t make the Greenbelt climb but wanted to make sure that everyone there knew that he wanted to be and that he would be with us in spirit. The Helmet Band give donation is him wanting to keep the rest of us safe. He wanted nothing more than to be there in person to hand out the band and shake the hands of those climbing in honor and memory of the 343. He would have then geared up and climbed right beside us! Zach is an AWESOME person. A friend, a Brother and a Fire Service Innovator! Special thanks to Zach Green, the NFFF and everyone involved in the 9/11 Memorial Stair Climbs across the Country!
So there ys have it …. I still don’t know why I’m here. I guess it’s because I (and we) still have work to do. I will do my duty every day to the best of my ability. When not on the job, I will do my best to help support and promote those before me. Tomorrow, my task will be to honor and remember those who have paved my way. I will do so with my best friend, my father, friends and family. I WILL NOT MISS A SINGLE STEP !
Tomorrow, Rhett (The Fire Critic), Kevin Tottin ( Salem Fire / EMS ) and I will arrive in Baltimore, Md for Firehouse Expo 2011.
We have a very busy work schedule through Sunday. We will be there working with Firefighter Netcast and will be set up in Booth #743 with the likes of Bill Schum ( Fire Geezer) and Dave Statter ( Statter 911 ) … Stop by for a visit!
We also have several meetings to attend and people to meet with. You will of course find us with the crew from the Fire/EMS Blog Network, Go Forward Media and Go Forward Fire. Bosses Dave Iannone and Chris ” hey buuuuuddy” Herbert always take pretty good care of us. Bill Carey, Paul Andrews and Mary Velline are another 3 folks from the Go Forward team who have always made me feel right at home. You may also find us hanging out with Zach Green and his crew from MN8 Products / Fox Fire. Despite all the work, we’re gonna have a good time!
We (Rhett, Kevin and I) will also be participating in the 9/11 Memorial Stair Climb on Thursday at 2pm. We will climb 110 stories of stairs in full turn out gear (I’ll be the skinny guy with a big mustache carrying Rhett).
Someone asked me the other day why in the world would I want to do that?
That’s easy … because my brothers of the FDNY couldn’t ! They weren’t allowed the time. The towers came down before they could complete their job and maybe, in some small way; this will allow me to finish it for them.
343 members of the FDNY were climbing those stairs for the people pictured above right …. now, I’ll climb for those 343!
At the sign up, we were asked if we’d like to climb in honor or memory of a particular Firefighter. I choose Joseph “Joey” Angelini.
That’s Joey pictured to the left. Years ago, I used to go to the city for St. Patty’s Day. I’d always stay at a firehouse and catch a ride. One of my first rides was with Rescue 1. Joey was on that tour and went out of his way to spend time and talk with me. He made a lasting impression.
He was the oldest member of the FDNY still in company and he was on one of the busiest rigs ! Talk about Wooden Ladders and Iron Firemen!
His love for the job was evident in his every word …. the pride and honor. It doesn’t seem like we see a lot of that any more.
Like my dad, Joey must have passed his passion on to his son. Joseph Angelini Jr. followed his father’s footsteps but, regretfully; was also killed in the towers that September day ( assigned to Ladder Company 4).
My climb wont be easy. Their’s was worse!
I haven’t been to the gym nor have I practiced for the event. They didn’t have that luxury. The alarm sounded and they went.
This climb has been on my mind a lot lately. I feel honored to have the opportunity.
As I was thinking, it hit me … I’ve been climbing stairs all my life. Most of us on the job have.
Not necessarily stairs like I’ll climb on Thursday, or the ones they climbed that day; but stairs none the less.
Give me a minute or 20 to explain.
Rhett had a post up last week about the final season of Rescue Me. See that post HERE . In it, he says …
“I think that many may agree that Rescue Me was a decent show in the beginning, but as the seasons progressed dysfunctional lives and too often nearly impossible heroics in conditions which are not indicative of normal firefighting lost real firefighters along the way.”
I have to disagree. I LOVE the show. I can relate to the character Tommy Gavin. The show hasn’t “lost” me and, despite what others may think; I consider myself to be a “real firefighter”.
I’m as dysfunctional as Gavin. Hell, maybe more so! Most of the old or “real” firefighters I know are as well. WE HAVE TO BE! Is that a good thing? Healthy? Probably not but that doesn’t change the facts.
Are we all as messed up as Gavin? No…. it’s TV. They just rolled all (or most of) our problems into one character.
You can’t see what we’ve seen and do what we’ve done and think yourself normal. Do dead people talk to me from inside my locker? NO. But there are faces I see often and will never forget. Memories I can’t loose. I would bet that true statistics within our profession for alcohol and spousal abuse would amaze you. Whats the divorce rate in your Department? The stress of this job can be overwhelming. Wonder why heart attacks are so prevalent?
Talk about stairs to climb …. try working a 24 hour shift away from your family. Get off tomorrow morning and go to you’r 2nd job. Screen a few calls from the wife about where you have to be when to pick up the kid or kids for this or that. Fire Officer class is tonight 6- 8pm … that promotion test is just weeks away and Firefighter “Joe” from the truck could use a hand building his deck for the company cookout next week.
Don’t forget to stop by so and so and drop off a check for whatever lesson or sports club and we’re out of milk.
By the way, the dishwasher quit working, the grass needs mowed and my car is making a “funny noise”.
Do you have enough hours in the day? Enough days in the week? Are you making enough money? Yea… all the firemen I know are filthy RICH! How about your runs? Seeing anything that bothers you? Hungry, low income children. Do ya see people you want to help and cant?
Get closer to home How many games have you missed due to pulling a tour? How many birthdays, holidays etc? How many times have you been pulled between you’re “firehouse family” and your family at home?
It’s an up hill battle…. “stairs to climb” and it comes with the job. Over worked, under paid, seeing people in the worst conditions, sacrificing ourselves and our families for complete strangers . .. why? Because it’s a calling … It’s OUR CALLING!
The bad news is that there are plenty of steps. They keep going up and up. My good friend and West Coast Brother Joe Schmoe must feel like he’s on an escalator. He called last week and I knew something was heavy on his mind. He didn’t get the chance to tell me but I know what it is. Cold feet. Schmoe is nearing retirement (as in about a month away). He’s been climbing those stairs so long, he doesn’t know how to stop. He’s not sure if he wants to. I hope he finds a peaceful landing to catch his breath. I know he will but I also know that his heart and soul is in that stairway. The same one we are all climbing. Not unlike the ones that collapsed on our brothers back in 2001.
That’s why I’m climbing Thursday. Because of firemen before me like my dad and Captain Joe Schmoe who have made their climb. I’m climbing because if any of those 343 Brothers lost on September 11, 2001 were here today, I’d guarantee they’d miss or sacrifice whatever to be right there in those stairways again.
Thursday, they will be. They will be in a stairway in Baltimore Md. They will be in my mind and I WONT MISS A SINGLE STEP !!
I’ll update ya from the road… until then, stay safe and in house!
Much like the The Space Shuttle Challenger disaster back in January of ’86, that evening in July of 1969 when man walked on the moon or that November day in 1963 when President Kennedy was assassinated, Americans will remember EXACTLY where they were and what they were doing on on September 11, 2001.
That day, I got a call from my dad (who was still on the job at the time). I rushed over to our shop. Together, we watched in horror as the terrorist attacks played out. We watched the towers come down and knew firemen had died … we just didn’t know how many.
Soon, the names al-Qaida and bin Laden was on every TV channel and news paper to be found. Given the opportunity, I could and would have killed him with a Q-Tip or hand full of cotton balls … whichever would have taken the longest and caused the most pain / suffering.
I’ve waited almost 10 years to hear that this piece of shit is dead!
I was on duty Sunday night when word got out. Rhett (Rhett Fleitz ..aka The Fire Critic) called to tell me to turn the TV on. Minutes after, we caught an EMS run … it was around mid-night. When we cleared from the run, dispatch asked me if I could give her a phone call and I did.
She wanted us to know the news. “If you get back to the station, turn on the TV …the President is going to announce that they’ve killed bin Laden”. Her thoughts went to FIREFIGHTERS. She knew we would want to know! I stayed up most of the night watching the coverage.
I was happy … happy, excited and thankful that we finally got him. My thoughts quickly moved to our Brothers and Sisters of the FDNY and the families of those murdered on 9/11. I knew that we would share in the joy of bin Laden’s death but also knew that the events would have them reliving the pain of that day all over again. I could only hope that the happiness found in his death would trump the pain and sorrow.
Some folks can’t understand how anyone can be happy about killing someone. If you’re one of those folks, maybe you shouldn’t be reading this. “Happy” really doesn’t describe how I feel…. it’s even more than that.
I think Bill Kennedy (and many others) feel the same way. Bill is retired from the FDNY and now lives down here on Smith Mountain Lake. Bills son, Tom; was murdered on 9/11 in the South tower having responded in on Ladder 101. That’s Tom Kennedy pictured on the left.
Mr. Kennedy had 2 good quotes in this morning’s local paper ….
“That son of a bitch is in the right place, and you can quote me on that”
“I know where he’s going, and it’s not up”
Read the entire article from The Roanoke Times HERE or more local coverage HERE . You can visit Firefighter Thomas Kennedy’s Memorial Page HERE. I’ll also add this local video of an interview with the Kennedys ….
I’ve watched today as more and more details of the events around bin Laden’s death emerged. My emotions turned to wonder and anger. Actually, at one point; I was just plain MAD!
The Roanoke Times is reporting that following his death, bin Laden’s body “was washed in private by two Muslim members of the U.S. military, wrapped in a white sheet, placed in a weighted bag and slid into the water from the deck of the USS Carl Vinson to the recitation of religious remarks by a U.S. officer that were translated into Arabic” .YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!
How many empty caskets did we bury? How many pieces of clothing, uniform or DNA substituted for the bodies of our fallen and this ass hole (bin Laden) gets a funeral? Washed him .. wrapped him and said words! I gotta say .. that chaps my ass! I would have strung the body up at Ground Zero.
That’s another point .. I WANT TO SEE THE PICTURES. Hell, I want to see the video. Put all the conspiracy theories to rest now.
Ok… I’m getting wound up here…. let me change directions.
photo from The Radio Patriot
To the U.S. Navy Seals and all of the men and women of our armed forces THANK YOU !
Thank you for continuing to look, for continuing to fight and for not forgetting.
WELL DONE !
Keep up the good work because I’m afraid this thing is far from over. All the questions with Pakistan and what they did or didn’t know. Bin Laden was just the leader … his army of terrorist are still out there and without a doubt wanting to avenge his death.
Teague Kenny has a great article over on ” The Tail Board “. Check out his post Gettin’ Ready .
He’s right boys … keep your boots close, pack an extra bag, keep that equipment checked and in top shape. Get your nose in a book .. study procedures etc … plan … study. Be smart, THINK … keep your eyes open. I know you are but … BE READY!
I’m gonna stop here for now. I could go on and on but my mind is working faster than I can type and I’m afraid it wont come out right. I get a 13 day break starting in the morning. I have special dinner plans tomorrow night (that I will post about) and head out to California on Friday. I’ll check in and finish my thoughts on this post as soon as I get the chance.
I hope the “luck of the Irish” rides with all you brothers and sisters out there on duty tonight. Regretfully, I’m one of those pulling a tour. But hey, I know all you Jakes out there with the night off will drink a green pint or 20 for those of us who cant be out there with ya!
If any of ya find any leprechauns running around out there that look like this one …. snatch on to her for me (you guys know I have a “thing” for thigh highs and midgets…LOL)
All kidding aside, I hope you are all having a fun and safe night out. That said, if you are out painting the town green, DON’T drink and drive. Please remember to use a designated driver or call a cab .
Even though I’m stuck here, we really haven’t had too bad of a day. The weather was absolutely BEAUTIFUL and it’s beginning to feel a little like spring.
They’ve been paining our station for the past week or so and the oil base paint has added a new aroma to our house. We’ve had all the doors open and fans set in every direction but we are still faced with the not so pleasant fragrance. Lucky for us, the Chief came to visit.
He decided there was no way he was gonna allow us to cook or eat in these conditions so he invited us up to Station #5 for our evening meal.
Turns out, the Chief was pulling double duty today … chief and chef.
Chief Adkins (Theodore Wendel …. TEDDY) and I worked together for many years on Ladder 2 when I was first hired. Teddy was the Senior Private and I the Junior when Ladder 2 was a tiller (open tiller). We went through a lot doors together and he taught me several lessons along the way. Working back then was FUN … we didn’t want a day off because we were afraid we’d miss something.
Teddy taught me about “seniority” in the fire house. As a kid and rookie fireman, obviously; I wanted the tiller position. Teddy would always remind me how I needed to learn “this” position or “that” task before trying to jump right to the tiller. That was unless it was raining, snowing or just plain cold as hell …. then it was time for me to learn the tiller …LMAO.
Teddy was also one of the men who taught me how to cook in a firehouse. It’s NOT EASY. The station was a double company with the Battalion stationed there as well. There were 10 men to cook for each day. You had to plan the menu, shop and cook and meals had better hit the table at noon and 18:00.
One of Teddy’s special dishes is the St. Patty’s Day staple … corned beef and cabbage.
It’s a casserole type dish that is very good. Corned beef, cabbage, potatoes and carrots. Anyway, that’s what he so fittingly prepared tonight.
Thanks to Chief Adkins and the Brothers and Sisters at Station #5 for having us down.
We weren’t the only guest at the Station #5 table tonight. The ambo had a paramedic student riding and the Chief had Priest ride along. The student is Jewish so it was mentioned that I should include a joke in tonight’s post…. 12 Firemen, a Jew and a Priest were sitting at …errrr… LOL … I’d better not.
The Chief’s ride along was Reverend Sandy Webb of St. John’s Episcopal Church. The Reverend is helping to start a Chaplin Program in our Department and wants to get out to meet our members and see a little of what we do and face.
We have attempted Chaplin programs in the past but none have lasted. Our Brothers out in the County have a great one in place and I hope Father Webb can create something similar.
Everyone was on their best behavior and the Father seemed to enjoy not only the meal but the typical firehouse table chatter.
I’m not sure he fully understands what he’s getting into but I know that he has some pretty good help by his side so I’m certain he’ll do just fine. (sorry about the first picture and the “midget and thigh high” comment Father but I did ask you to keep an open mind when checking out the site…lol) Special THANKS to Reverend Webb for his efforts on our behalf.
It’s a bit odd I guess but St. Patty’s Day always has me thinking of New York and the FDNY. I used to go up every year and march along side the Brothers from 39/16. I made the trip one last time following the 9-11 attacks and was honored to march ahead of 343 American flags.
FDNY Chaplin Mychal Judge (Died September 11, 2001)
With the FDNY on my mind and a Priest in the house, my thoughts were of Father Mychal Judge.
You’d never know it by looking at him in that pic would ya? He looks like a fireman. Most FDNY members who knew him would likely tell ya that he was a fireman.
He responded to countless incidents to pray for and comfort the victims and members of the FDNY. The attacks on the World Trade Center in 2001 was no different. Father Judge was there from the beginning.
At 09:59 am that morning, when the South Tower collapsed; Father Judge was in the lobby of the North Tower. Debris and rubble from the South Tower collapse filled the North Tower lobby and took Father Judge’s life.
He is officially listed as the 1st victim of the attacks. His body bag was labeled “0001″.
I will never forget the images of those 4 men carrying his body from the rubble in a chair.
His funeral was held on September 15th and was attended by more than 3,000 people. His helmet was presented to Pope John Paul II and there has even been talks of Sainthood. Streets have been given his name, statutes have been erected, and medals awarded. The Father Mychal Judge Walk of Remembrance takes place every year in New York around the 9/11 anniversary. It begins with a Mass at St. Francis Church on West 31st Street, then proceeds to the site of Ground Zero, retracing Judge’s final journey and praying along the way.
So as you can see, the position of fire Department Chaplin is not one to be taken lightly.
Father Judge set the bar high.
I’m wondering how many of your departments have a Chaplin Program? How is it working? Do the members find it helpful? Do you have any advise for our members or for Reverend Webb as we begin building ours?
I did find a site with some information on Chaplin Programs for those of you who, like us; may not have one in place or may be thinking about starting one. Check out Chaplin Fellowship Ministries for more.
That’s gonna do it for now …. for all you local folks, don’t forget to come out and support The Roanoke Rampage as we take on the Chicago Fire Department in full contact football for charity this Saturday, 3 pm at Salem Memorial Stadium.
I think I may be in a “slump”. Now, I’ve never been the articulate type (yea.. I used a “big” word) but usually, I get my point across. I don’t know why but a lot of the folks I’ve met through this site say they love it because of my style of writing. I write like I talk. I “shoot from the hip” and say what I feel. The mis-spellings and poor grammar add to the allure.
I posted yesterday on the “ Fukushima 50” and I’m afraid I didn’t get my point across. Either that or some of you took it wrong.
I haven’t received ANY feedback and that’s strange. I always get an e-mail or 20 saying I’m dead on or an idiot. This post… nothing. That and only 4 FaceBook “shares”. If you will, allow me a few minutes (lines) to “set the record straight” and make sure I’m sending the right message.
Japan and the Japanese people are facing a horrible tragedy. I did not and will not belittle their situation. The story and articles I focused on were concerning 50 workers from a nuclear plant. About 800 were evacuated … sent out while 50 volunteered to stay behind and do what they could to stabilize the situation. I don’t know their “official” jobs or titles but would bet some are firemen (one article spoke of them using firefighting equipment in efforts to cool the reactors / fuel etc).
These men and women are true HEROS. Nobody can doubt or argue that point. Where I wanted to go with last night’s post was that these folks have always been there. They were heroes before the earthquake or tsunami ever hit. I’d bet they were willing to give their life for their profession long before last week.
It’s that fact that got me thinking of September 11, 2001 and every brother and sister on the job in America today.
It takes a disaster such as Japan’s for the media to “pick up on” the dedication some of us have for our jobs. The commitment . Our duty. 50 people with this type of dedication make national headlines while we have over 1 million firefighters at the ready to do just the same in America today.
WikiAnswers reports that in 2007 the U.S had 1,148,800 firefighters at the ready. I’m sure that today, those numbers are even higher.
It saddens me to think about that and how we are so quickly forgotten. You wont find a U.S. headline stating how many members we have at the ready to pay the ultimate sacrifice if need be. No …. we have no disasters here … no terrorist attacks. We’re not needed or thought about by the masses right now.
Our headlines are of money sucking union monsters. It’s now OUR fault that we are in the economic shape we are. How did this happen? Again, I never wanted to take away from the Fukushima 50 … it was just ironic to me … almost deshavu. Heroes today … forgotten tomorrow.
As I said in yesterday’s post, it wasn’t just the story but the pictures as well. Those guys walking out of the plant in their suits .. like out of the gates of hell. I remember the shots of our FDNY brethren walking out of the ash clouds… the rubble.
The aerial shots of the reactors and plant. I didn’t (couldn’t) find the pic I wanted to use but back in 2001, the post (or somebody) used a similar shot of Ground Zero before the collapses. The trail of smoke from the towers …. it was all just too eerily similar for me.
The Fukushima 50 are true heros. They always have been. I hope their pay and benifits have reflected such dedication. I hope their families are, have been and will be taken care of. I hope they haven’t had to bite, spit, fight and struggle for every and anything they have EARNED. I hope the people who allowed and placed them in these positions thought enough of them to give them a collective voice in decisions pertaining to their lives.
Again, I never meant to take away from the situation they face. I only hope it doesn’t worsen. I hope that folks like the Fukushima 50, Japan’s firefighters, EMT’s, Doctors etc don’t face the fading feeling of worth that we have following the 9-11 attacks. My thoughts and prayers have been and remain with the Japanese people as well as with those involved with rescue and humanitarian efforts.
I hope that made sense.
Ok, Firefighter Netcast. Tonight, my good friend and Fire Service Leader Chris Naum will be live with his regular Netcast show Taking it to the Streets
Tonight’s show begins at 9pm est. and is titled “Near Miss Reporting and one Captain’s Close Call“ .
I brag a lot about Chris and his work and can assure you that you wont want to miss tonight’s special 2 hour show. The show is live and has a call in number. Chris, Firefighter Netcast and I encourage you not only to listen to the show but to also become a part of it by calling in. The show also has a “chat room” where plenty of “off air” debate and discussion occurs. TRUST ME ….. TAKE THE TIME TO TUNE IN!
You all know by now that we play in the National Public Safety Football League. We need to FILL THE STANDS. The game starts at 3pm at Salem Memorial Stadium. Tickets are $7 for adults and $5 for children. Remember …. all the money goes to great causes .
I’ll be meeting Chicago at the airport on Friday. I will get them settled in and assure they are comfortable and have everything they need. Then, I’ll see if I can get em out to a local “watering hole” and keep em out all night. That way, they’ll feel like crap on Saturday LOL. This outta be good!
Anyway, please make plans to attend the game. We will have dancing girls, cheer leaders and the works. We have a GREAT program put together and are still selling our gun raffle tickets (Kelly Grayson … why haven’t you bought yours yet????) The weather is supposed to be in the 70′s so make plans to bring the entire family…. I’LL SEE YA THERE!
I’ll check back as soon as possible. Until then, stay safe and in house!
Yea… I’m here and back at Lucky #13 on duty today.
As usual, I was simply “swamped” over 4 day break and didn’t find the time to check in.
When I say “swamped”, I mean that literally. I’ve been knee deep in mud and muck for about as long as I can stand.
No, that’s NOT my tractor but the situation I’ve been faced with all week is very similar.
Of course, being mired in mud is not necessarily always a bad thing ….
I almost feel bad … here I am complaining about the mud, being stuck etc .. and then I see this poor gal …
She’s not dressed for this …. obviously, she was caught completely off gaurd …
It almost hurts my eyes to see her like this …. ALMOST (LOL).
Photo from CBS News.com
Ok, so on to something more serious. So We were sitting here watching Katie on the evening news. It seems as though we have some new Heroes emerging from the tragedy in Japan.
They are calling them the “Fukushima 50“. They are 50 workers who choose to remain inside one of the nuclear power plants in an effort to save others … here’s a quote…
“Since the disaster struck in Japan, about 800 workers have been evacuated from the damaged nuclear complex in Fukushima. The radiation danger is that great.
However, CBS News correspondent Jim Axelrod reports that a handful have stayed on the job, risking their lives, to try to save the lives of countless people they don’t even know.”
Kinda reminds me of a couple thousand guys back on September 11, 2001.
Remember those guys?
They kept responding in. They poured into those buildings. They climbed those stairs and kept climbing.
To ” save the lives of countless people they don’t even know”
Here’s another quote from the CBS coverage … “The official said that his friend, one of the Fukushima 50, told him that he was not afraid to die, that that was his job.”
“That” was his job … well I’ll be damn.
Photo from The New York Times
You know, it’s not just the talk of these “Fukushima 50″ that take me back to that day .. some of the images do as well.
It’s almost ironic … eerily ironic
That aerial photo of the power plants came from The New York Times ( article HERE ).
The same New York Times that posted aerial shots of the World Trade Center attacks and the devastation they brought to Manhattan
You following me here? See the similarities?
The New York Times as in from New York City. The same New York City that is closing stations. That has implemented “brown outs” …
The New York City where our “New York THOUSAND” … The FDNY responded from!
I wonder how long it will be before the Fukushima 50 are forgotten?
How long before Japan begins shutting down power plants and laying off employees?
Now, I mean no disrespect to Japan or the Japanese people. Nor is it my intent to take away from the devastation they have encountered. They are faced with a horrible tragedy that seems to be far from over. No, this was not a terrorist event but horrific just the same.
For whatever reason, the coverage keeps taking me back to that September day.
Task Force 1 and 2 have been deployed and are on the ground and working in Japan. Dave Statter has the full coverage and a description of operations HERE .
My thoughts and prayers are with our brothers and Sisters from TF1&2 as well as with the Japanese people.
You folks may remember, back in early October; Rhett Fleitz and John Mitchel of Firefighter Netcast let me tag along for another recording gig. We went to Emitsburg Maryland for the 2010 National Fallen Firefighter’s Memorial Weekend. Read one of my post from the trip HERE. I had never before been. WOW! I carry the memories and feelings of that weekend with me still today (much like those of Marching with my FDNY Brothers from 39/16 in the NYC St. Patty’s Day Parade in March 2002).
I am not articulate enough to describe the feelings that I took from either event but I will say that I know I will carry them for my life. At the NFF weekend, our job was to record live interviews of the surviving families with Dave Statter. They sat and spoke candidly of their lost loved ones. We knew our job was important … we had no idea how hard and touching it would be.
We laughed and cried with the survivors as they recalled certain stories of the fallen. We interviewed survivors from recient LODD’s and some from as far back as September 11, 2001. All are etched in my mind but a few will stand out. The Kelly family, Survivors of Lt.Kevin M. Kelly of the Boston FD Ladder 26; opened up as if Lt. Kelly was standing there and throwing it back and forth.
The 2nd interview that stands out was one of our very first. Dave sat down with Kelly Walesh and her daughter Lexus who are survivors of Wisconsin Firefighter Stephen ‘Peanut’ Koeser. After seeing and hearing Lexus talk of the loss of her father, we knew that we had “something special” and that it was going to be very difficult to endure 2 days of these interviews. Here they are..
Kelly and Lexus were followed that weekend by a TV crew who documented their story as part of a TV segment on Volunteer Firefighters. That show will air this morning at 9am (EST) on the CBS Sunday Morning Show.
Stop what you’re doing and tune in or set the DVR right NOW…. 9 am Sunday (today) on CBS.
Today is September 11, 2010 and I’m not sure how many times I’ve heard the phrase “never forget”. Today, the History Channel has played 9-11-2001 footage all day. Today, the United States Flag was flown at half mast all across the country. I’ve even gotten a few “thumbs up” from citizens while out on runs today. As I often do, today we stopped by our Fallen Firefighter Memorial here in the city. I was glad to see that someone else had visited the site today and even had the thought to leave flowers It’s been 9 years and today, it seems some folks are picking the banner back up. I say “back up” because I’m not so sure everyone “remembers” any other time. Let me explain..or at least try to a little. As a firefighter, I (we) have NEVER FORGOTTEN. Personally, I think of that tragic morning EVERYDAY I report for duty. EVERYDAY! I have a 9-11 book on the night stand by my bed. On the window sill, I have a photo of me marching in the 2002 St. Patty’s Day Parade with my friends / brothers from FDNY 39/16. My turnout coat carries a patch that reads FDNY.. Fallen Heros. I see these items every morning and reflect on that day and why I’m here. EVERY morning.. not just on it’s anniversary. In the days following 9-11-01 firefighters were praised all across the country. People began to recognize our job and the sacrifices we face and make on a daily basis. Everybody wanted to shake our hand. They stopped to give hugs and tell us how much we are appreciated. They almost began to understand that it’s firefighters (Firefighters, EMS workers and Police Officers) who are first in on the “front lines”. Well, maybe they did understand it at the time but I’m afraid that now, once again; they’ve forgotten. Today, we are back to budget cuts. Departments and individual companies running short staffed. Companies closing, members being laid off. Hell, in Detroit; 4 of the 6 injured brothers were transported in Fire trucks! Firemen critically injured while fighting a fire had to be transported in Engines because the city didn’t have enough ambulances in service! IT’S A DISGRACE! There are a ton of GREAT post out here today. Dave Statter has a good list of em here. He and The Fire Critic have a video from Bobby Halton of Fire Engineering. In that video, Chief Halton said that he knew some of us are still mad. Well, I’m one of em and I’m not sure that I will ever get over it. Virginia has a license plate that says “fight terrorism” but are we?? Companies are spending millions to find / build the latest and greatest “iphone” or the next “gotta have” application for your whatever gadget. Professional sports players (golf, football, Nascar drivers etc) are getting paid MILLIONS to play games yet we can’t find Bin Laden and firehouses are being closed all across the country. A preacher in Florida says he’s going to burn the Koran and not only does it make National news, the White House has even gotten involved. I don’t recall hearing of calls from the White House whenever someone burned the U.S. Flag in protest! We’re going to allow a Mosque to be built down the street / near Ground Zero? We are worried about someone Else’s “feelings” but what about ours? People think and argue for the names of the 19 murderers (hijackers) to be listed on memorials and included in the final death toll (which continues to grow by the way)! I think maybe they HAVE forgotten. Spending the day to myself in quiet reflection I often recall the interview with FDNY Captain Jonas. He told his guys “they’re trying to kill us”. They talked about the possibility of not making it out, shook hands and wished each other luck. THEN THEY WENT IN! They went up! I can’t tell you how proud that makes me feel to be a firefighter. That’s who we are. From the smallest VFD to the largest departments, there are brothers and sisters pulling a tour. The next job could be our last. The next 9-11 could happen any moment but I and we are here and ready to “go in”. So no, I haven’t forgotten and never will. I’ll remember the day September 11, 2001, the times 09:59 and 10:28 and the number 343. Captain Wines
I’m currently working through the “depression” stage (and, I believe; suffering through PTSD).
The best thing for me has been talking about it. Getting “it” out of my head and off my chest. I’ve wrote about them a lot here lately but once again, I want to share with you some folks who you CAN TALK TO. People who understand and that do MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
He got his motorcycle toy out. It’s like the old Evil Knievel wind up toy. If you’re a boy and anywhere near my age (44), I’d bet you had one.
Like I said in the beginning of this post, I have to start climbing my way out of this hole.
”
Recent Comments