Here’s a short video of some Pipes and Drums from the FOOLS Bash last night here at FDIC. I’ll get a more details post up as soon as I can. Meanwhile, if you’re here; be sure to stop by the MN8 FoxFire booth (#5571) or the Black Diamond Booth (#2401 between 4-6pm) and say hello.
Stay Safe and in House!
Captain Wines
Support has really been building for our Brothers and Sisters in and around the town of West, Texas following last week’s devastating and fatal blast.
The National Fallen Firefighter’s Foundation has set up a special, National fund for the survivors.
“In light of the tragic event in West, Texas on Wednesday and in cooperation with local support efforts, the National Fallen Firefighters Foundation has established a national fund to accept monetary donations to assist the survivors and coworkers of the fire and EMS personnel who died in the line of duty”.
More about the Fund from the NFFF HERE
NFFF on Face Book HERE
Tim Smith from the hit Discovery Chanel show “Moonshiners” is hoping his “celebrity status” can help raise funds as well.
When not filming his show, Tim also serves as the Volunteer Fire Chief for the Climax (Va) VFD.
Rhett posted about Tim, the show and him being the VFD Chief in December of 2011. It ended up being his 2nd most popular post on Fire Critic.com for 2011.
Read that post by clicking HERE
Tim made our local news tonight due to his efforts to assist the West, Texas Fire Department.
Chief Smith left Virginia this morning at 09:00 am. They will be traveling down I-85 to Atlanta Georgia and then following I-20 into Texas.
They will be making as many stops as possible along the way to collect donations for West Texas.
They are accepting any and all donations … money, supplies, equipment etc.
If you, your Department or business would like to host Tim and his crew or have them stop at your location to pick up a donation, you can contact them through the Climax VFD site HERE (their itinerary is also listed on that site) .
Click HERE for video coverage from our local news station WDBJ 7
There is also a Memorial Service planned for this Thursday (April 25th) in Waco Texas. Rhett has all the details over on Fire Critic (I’ll include the link) and if they get a live stream out, we will do our best to have it up on both of our sites for those unable to attend in person.
Rhett and I will be at FDIC on Thursday but our thoughts will be in Texas. I hope yours will be as well.
We leave out for Indy on Wednesday morning at 7am. We have a couple Brothers riding up with us and a couple more sharing our suite. It’s going to be a GREAT trip.
Our first stop will be at the FOOLS Brotherhood Bash at 5pm Wednesday. It’s always a BLAST and a great way to kick off our trip.
FOOLS Bash event page on Face Book HERE
Thursday, you’ll find us on the exhibit floor spending time between the MN8 FoxFire and Black Diamond booths (Booth #5571 for FoxFire and #2401 for Black Diamond). Be sure to stop by say hello!
Rhett and I are also hosting our very own “Meet Up” at FDIC this year! We’re getting the Brothers and Sisters together for some fellowship and Brotherhood at the Hard Rock Cafe @8:30 on Friday.
We shouldn’t be too difficult to find anyway. For some reason, we always seem to stand out in a crowd.
Odds are you’ll find us wearing one of our kilts. Last year, we were sporting our ALT Kilts. This year, we will also be showing off our custom wear from Bunker Kilt!
You’re also likely to find us in our new Morning Pride turnout gear from Honeywell.
We’ll be updating our status on Face Book so you’ll know exactly where we are. Be sure to look us up and say hello. We LOVE meeting our friends, fans and followers … yea … BOTH of ya …LOL.
I’ve gotta catch up on a little farm work tomorrow, wash the Blog Mobile and get packed but I’ll try to get another post up for ya tomorrow night.
Until I get back … stay SAFE and in House!
Captain Wines
Once again I have a lot of catching up to do but this time, it’s not entirely my fault. The server for our network has been up and down over the past several days so we haven’t been able to get a post up. Hopefully, the situation is corrected now and we can get back to business as normal.
So, to catch ya up … it’s been a long week.
We worked the Thursday, Saturday, Monday cycle this week (24hr tours).
Goerge (my Lt) is off on vacation and Boots is still out on sick leave (he’s recovering well). That left just me and our newest member, Jerry Thompson at the station. Instead of calling in OT for the entire shift, the Company was placed out of service and Jerry and I detailed out to fill other vacancies for the day.
Jerry went to “The Green House” … aka Station #3 and I went down to Station #5 and rode the Ladder.
Yea… an Engine Captain on a Ladder. Well, around here; you never know what you may end up doing. I’ve explained it a few times here on the site that due to our staffing etc. an Engine Company can easily be assigned “Truck work” and vice versa.
I’ve also talked about having been assigned to a Ladder a couple times during my career. The truth of the matter is … I LOVE truck work! Especially now that 2 of our Trucks have the added responsibility of performing vehicle extrication for the City (Ladder 5 being one of them).
It was a good day with the Brothers and Sisters at Station #5. That evening, I got an over time man and put Lucky #13 back into service.
Turned out our OT man was none other than Captain Chris Trussler from down at “The Deuce” on B-shift.
Captain Trussler and I go way back….way … way … WAY back actually.
I call him “Lucky”. 1.) Because he’s got a little leprechaun in him and 2.) Because he’s so damn “lucky”.
We were both assigned to Ladder #2 as Privates back in the day (on different shifts). Like many Crusty Old Jakes, there are hundreds of stories involving / surrounding Captain Trussler. I was even involved in a few of em.
I always remember the one about a working fire in the projects near the station. There were reports of people trapped on the second floor and “Lucky” was assigned the search. The Brothers are going to work and here comes Trussler falling /rolling down the interior steps and out the front door. He had a victim. A 350 pound lady wearing her nightgown and a pair of gorilla slippers. They end up in the front yard with the lady on top of him. So a couple of the boys run over to make sure he’s still alive and he tells them … “I got the little one, her sister is still up there!” … LMAO!
Lucky’s a “Good Jake” and we had a BLAST reminiscing over old stories. He’ll be testing for Battalion Chief in the next few weeks and I hope he does well …. I’ll work for him ANY day.
Our middle day turned out MUCH busier. Instead of overtime, they transferred a man from the South Side. Keith Snead from Station #1-A was trading time with a C-shift Brother and drew the short straw. He hadn’t been here 10 minutes before we caught a working fire. Nothing says thanks for working on a beautiful Saturday morning like catching work at 07:30am. Unfortunately, the runs kept coming all day long. The saddest incident we ran was a vehicle fire. Nothing breaks your heart like rolling in on a 1967 Camaro that’s on fire. Here’s some video ….
The car was obviously custom. A good training point from this video … something to keep in your mind is just how custom it was. Even the engine was customized…. so much so that it had Nitrous aka Nitrous Oxide system. Yea …NOS… a 20lb bottle mounted beside the driver’s seat! Good thing Snead got a good knock on the fire.
I’ll let ya know how our Monday tour goes a little later but until then, I have plenty more to share.
To begin with … set your clocks, DVRs, VCR’s and whatever else you have. The Fire Critic, Rhett Fleitz; and I will be on Prime Time TV Sunday night at 7pm (April 28th)! That’s right … Rhett and I will appear on MSNBC’s 100th Episode of “Extreme Caught on Camera”. Check your local listings and be sure to check us out! Here’s the trailer …..
Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy
If you can’t wait until Sunday night to see us, all you have to do is show up at FDIC. Rhett and I will be heading up on Wednesday and staying until Sunday.
Most of my time will be spent on the exhibit floor with Zach Green and our MN8 Fox Fire family.
This year, our booth will be our biggest yet. So big in fact, that we even invited some friends. Joining us for FDIC 2013 will be Statter911, Box Alarm Leather and Fat Ivan.
You will also be able to find us in the Black Diamond Boot Booth! You may remember that Ironfiremen.com won the “2011 Black Diamond Boot Fire Blog of the Year” contest.
That was a HUGE honor for me regardless of the contest, I’m a fan of Black Diamond Boots. I wear them EVERY DAY on the job. Actually, Rhett and I both wear the X2 Boot in our gear and we LOVE them!
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Visit the Black Diamond Web Site HERE
Find and “LIKE” Black Diamond on Face Book HERE
Find “Product Reviews” of the X2 Boot HERE
The exhibit floor is always exciting but also very busy for Rhett and I.
If you’re looking for a really good time and little more “face time” with either of us, be sure to attend our “Meet Up”.
That’s Right … Rhett and I, with support from Shane Parkins of NFE and others; are hosting our own Meet-Up this year!
Join us on Friday evening, 08:30pm at the Hard Rock Cafe. We’ve created an “Event Page” on Face Book HERE … be sure to stop by!
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We shouldn’t be hard to find. Fools Bash, Exhibit floor, Stop Drop and Rock and Roll, our Meet-Up and the 9/11 Memorial Stair Climb.
Unfortunately, I will not be climbing this year but Rhett will.
I will however continue to support the Climb and the NFFF by registering for the event. I will also be wearing my memory badges while all the other Brothers and Sisters are making their climb.
This year, I will be wearing an additional badge. One of a member who was not murdered on September 11, 2001 but died of suicide on September 5, 2012.
W.D. Patterson was a good friend of mine and a huge supporter of the 9/11 Stair Climbs and the NFFF.
More about W.D’s passing HERE and HERE
Read a Tribute to W.D by Brother Brian Edwards HERE
Register to CLIMB at FDIC by clicking HERE
Rhett and I will be updating you and sharing our FDIC experience throughout the week. Be sure to keep checking back here or on our Face Book pages.
I’ll try to get back to ya Monday night with an update and again on Tuesday before we head out Wednesday morning. As always, thanks for the continued support.
Stay SAFE and in House!
Captain Wines
It should be pretty evident that I’ve taken some time off … a lot of time actually.
I wasn’t sure how long I’d be away … I wasn’t even sure if I’d come back at all.
When I say “away”, I’m speaking mostly of my social media presence … posting here on Ironfiremen.com and staying active on my Face Book pages. I even though about going away physically … packing up and moving. I just wanted to get away … to forget and leave the events of the last 3 months behind me. To start over somewhere new. It wouldn’t have worked and I knew it.
Instead, I dug a hole and crawled into it. I isolated myself from everyone…. at home and on the job. Despite wanting to “put my boots back on”… (Read “A Firefighter’s Boots), I didn’t want to see or talk to anyone. I didn’t even respond to hundreds of e-mails / messages. That didn’t work either … holes are dark places and I was lost (Read “Positional Awareness …Where the Hell am I?”)
Looking back, I think I was just trying to avoid those awkward situations. Most people didn’t know what to say to me or how to say it. Many that tried would often say the wrong thing. Here’s some helpful hints …
Yes, I’m still grieving but, slowly and surely I’m climbing my way out of this hole.
It’s the “power of people”. You guys haven’t left my side. Even though I haven’t responded, the e-mails, letters, phone calls and messages keep coming in. You’ve stood by me with sympathy and support like I’ve never experienced. People like Peggy Sweeney (The Sweeney Alliance) and Shannon Pennington (Firefighter Veteran) have picked me up on a daily basis.
In the last two weeks, I’ve seen some daylight. I’ve been getting out and around other people some and it’s helping. I’ll share some of those events with ya in this post …
It started with 2 days of teaching our recruit Class #16.
I taught Fire Behavior and Control along with Salem Senior Firefighter / Medic Chris Smith aka.. “Smitty”.
That happened just at the time my wife had a lump removed from behind her breast (surgery went well … results are back and was not cancer). My mind really wasn’t focused on firefighting but it proved to be a welcome and needed “distraction”.
I seen a lot of potential in this group of recruits but it’s still early in their training and that have a way to go yet. They were attentive and seemed eager to learn. They asked several great questions and I think (hope) they all learned something over the 2 days I got to spend with them. They are lucky to have the caliber of instructors they have scheduled for their academy. I reminded them that THEY asked to be here. I hope they WANT to. They were given the opportunity and now it’s up to them to prove they belong. It’s up to them to EARN that position … nobody will “give” it to them. It takes dedication and heart and we can’t teach either of them! Good luck to Recruit Class #16.
That weekend, our local Football team, The Roanoke Rampage; hosted Cincinnati here in Roanoke.
The Rampage play in the National Public Safety Football League. The teams are made up of Firefighters, Police Offices and EMS personnel.
All the teams are non-profit and play for various charities local to their perspective cities.
The Rampage won by a score of 20-2 and moved to 2-0 in their division. Their complete schedule can be found in the links above. Be sure to also check out the NPSFL site to find the team nearest you and lend your support. The next two game for the Rampage are away games but I’m hoping to attend at least one of them. Follow the Rampage on Face Book … click HERE !
We did a little pre-game tailgating for this one.
Of course we did it “Ironfiremen.com” style and set the camper up.
Several folks made it by to share in the food, beverages and Brotherhood.
We even had a celebrity hang out for the day. Team Hunter was on hand and in full force. The Buckaroo and Hunter had as much fun (if not more) than most of the adults. If you’re not familiar with Team Hunter, check them out on Face Book by clicking HERE or the link above. Hunter’s a GREAT kid and your support has made (and continues to make) a difference in his life. Be sure to “Like” his page and send in a photo …. it really makes his day.
It was a great time and I really enjoyed seeing and talking to everyone who stopped by. Hunter’s dad, Baron; took hundreds of photos and I’ll try to get a few up on my Face Book page later on.
I’ve had some more “people time” with friends back at the station as well.
You folks may remember or know Andrew Catron from blog The Model City Firefighter .
Andrew is a good friend and a Brother Firefighter from Kingsport Tenn. Andrew was one of the guys who went with me and Rhett to FDIC last year. Andrew is one the guys who “gets it”. He’s very active in many aspects of the fire service and he’s making a positive impression on many of the people he’s reaching.
Beyond his Blog (linked above) and many other things, he is also very active with the National Firefighter’s Endowment. If you noticed the job shirt I was wearing in the second picture of this post, it’s from the NFE and Andrew was very instrumental in their development. Learn more about Andrew by clicking HERE and return the support by following his blog “The Model City Firefighter”. You can find / follow him on Face Book by clicking HERE .
Andrew and his family (Rachel and Issac) made a trip up to Roanoke to see the sites and check in on me and Rhett. I always tease Andrew by calling Rachel his “sister”…. I tell him there’s no other way a gal that pretty would hang out with him …. LOL.
He knows I’m just kidding but Rachel actually believed I though she was his sister for a while …LMAO.
Well, she’s prettier in person and Issac and me hit it off from minute one!
We had a GREAT visit. We hung out at station #13 for a while before heading down to Historic Station #1 and our Fallen Firefighter Memorial.
Later that evening, they visited the Mill Mountain Zoo / overlook before heading to Blacksburg for dinner with Andrew’s brother. I think and hope they had a good visit … I know I enjoyed it. You’ll be seeing more of Andrew soon as he will once again be traveling with us to FDIC in a few weeks.
Another good friend and Brother Firefighter stopped in later that evening as well.
Nate Camfiord took the time out of his busy schedule to check in on me. You guys may know Nate from his AWESOME photography. He was the one behind the camera for our Ironfiremen / Fire Critic.com “Hey Brother” tee-shirt promotion. He’s also the Brother who started the “Boot” campaign in my healing process as well as many other projects including Team Hunter.
Nate will become even more well know and famous following FDIC this year as one of his photos will be on the cover of one of PennWell’s latest publications (more on this in a future post).
It was another great visit with many laughs shared. Be sure to click his name above as I linked it to his Face Book page … you’ll LOVE his photos!
Most recently, I’ve spent some time camping with friends. I’m ruined! LOL
On Friday, Kevin and I pulled the Buckaroo out of school early and headed to Claytor Lake to set up.
Later that day, Roanoke County Firefighter Brandon Sheppard (and his family) along with Radford Fire Department’s Henry Barnett (and his family) joined our group.
It was a GREAT weekend and very relaxing!!
Lazy days spent watching the Buckaroo and Hunter play while just taking it easy and enjoying where we were.
Walks through the woods …. to the lake, play ground and beach.
There’s just “something” about getting out and camping that’s refreshing.
Everything seems “better” when you’re camping.
Even the food. Yea …. that’s Brandon Sheppard cooking breakfast!
We’re going to be doing a LOT more camping this year… a LOT LOT more. Even if we just set up by the creek on the farm, we’re gonna be camping somewhere.
Of course it’s not all about “getting away” either.
Sometimes, as it was at Claytor Lake this weekend; it’s good to be around other people.
I still have my long johns on yet their were people laying out on the beach! Now that’s the kind of people I like to be around … the ones wearing bikinis! LMAO
If you have a camper or tent and want to join (or invite) us for a camping trip, just hit me up. We’ll be somewhere pretty much every weekend and would love the company. You’ll have a BLAST!
So, thanks to EVERYONE for the continued support. It feels good to be getting out again and you’ll be seeing a lot more of me from this point on. Rhett and I have FDIC coming up in two weeks and I have a ton of other stuff to share as well. Keep checking back here and following on Face Book for all the details.
Until then, stay SAFE and in House!
Captain Wines
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For the followers of mine (yea…both of you) who aren’t “on the job”, the term positional awareness is one we use in reference to knowing “where” you are. We often refer to it as inside a structure or building …or at least on the fire ground. Another term that goes along with it is situational awareness … or knowing not only where you are but what is / can happen around you.
So where am I?? I wish I knew.
It’s an uncomfortable position for me. In the past, even when I’ve been somewhere I shouldn’t be; I at least knew I was there. Now, I’m not so sure. I’m lost.
If any of ya find me, please let me know or just take me home (of course I don’t even know where “home” is anymore).
Obviously, I’m not here (where I have been or where I’m used to being). I haven’t been for 3 months now and I can’t seem to figure it out.
I’ll assume that you guys have … figured it out that is. Obviously, by my lack of postings / presence something is still not right. I also know that you’re most likely tired of hearing me whine and cry … tired of my “softer” side. Many of you have sent e-mails, comments etc excited to see bits and pieces of the “old Willie” and that style of posting back. The honest answer is that I’m just not there yet. I tried to get there but couldn’t…. not yet. At least you haven’t forgotten about me.
There is a TON of material out there and things I want to say / comment on but I just can’t find the energy to sit down and write it out. I can’t find the words. It’s not “flowing” in my mind ….. I guess it’s what they mean by writers block (if you can call me a writer…LMAO).
I’ve been in a fog. Wondering …. aimlessly. Still searching for my answers. Answers I may never find.
Maybe this direction, these type of postings is where I need to be. Maybe I can be of more help to the Brotherhood by sharing these stories than I can of my everyday firehouse life / opinion etc.
I can’t imagine keeping a very big audience along this path but if I can make a difference in just one Brother or Sister’s life, I think it would be worth it.
I don’t know where I’m going yet … hell, I’m not 100% sure of where I’ve been now that I try to put it all into perspective. I think we’ve all been here … it’s just my first trip.
For me, the hits just keep coming. I feel like I can’t keep my head above water. I’m dry but drowning!
Jack’s suicide, my moms cardiac procedure (which turned out way better than expected) and, Boot’s cancer surgery. Everything seemed to hit at once. I’ve tried to be strong … to set an example…strong yet open. It hasn’t been easy. Everyone wants me back but I’m not sure I can get there. I’m not sure how much longer I can hold on to the little sanity I have but I’m trying.
Alison Krauss has several lines in her song “Paper Airplane” that hits home with me … one says …. “And love is hard to measure
hidden in the rain. That’s why you’ll find me…Here all alone and still wondering why. Waiting inside for the cold to get colder…”
Another from the same song is ….“How many days should I smile with a frown? ‘Cause you’re not around with the sun on your shoulders…”
Here’s a video of her singing the song if you’re not familiar with it or her music … I’m a HUGE fan.
Smile with a frown … sound familiar to any of ya?
Now, for me at least; it keeps piling on and I’m faced with even more challenges … more questions, more demons and battles to fight.
Today, I moved Jackson’s things out of dad’s house (that’s where he had been staying since his wife put him out and also where he decided to end his life). I smelt him as I moved every box. I smell him now. It’s was like an avalanche of emotion overtaking me once again.
It still seems like only yesterday to me but I know it’s not. I know this because yesterday, I found myself waiting once again for the phone to ring. I waited but he didn’t make that Easter morning call. I wanted to dial his number but couldn’t. Nothing is as it should be.
I don’t know how dad has done it. How he’s stayed there in the house. Past the birthdays and holidays. He’s got to be hurting as much as me and it’s killing me knowing it.
It’s even difficult for me to be around dad now. Him and Marci both look like and remind me so much of Jackson that it hurts. Worse than that … it suffocates me. I can’t explain it. Is this the life I’m left to live? Alienated from my own family? When will it end? Will it ever? Apparently not…
Thursday, Donna (my wife); will have a lump removed from behind her breast (under her arm). We wont know what it is until they get it out and see.
The procedure is weighing heavy on my mind. She’s staying strong for me and the girls while I’m quietly bleeding out. I’m not sure how much more I can take.
I feel like an old dilapidated barn. Old and worn yet just strong enough to leave you wondering how it’s still standing. I wish I knew. I wish I had it’s strength.
I want to leave this place … to go somewhere … anywhere but here yet I know I can’t. I know all roads will lead me back …. back to my struggles, my challenges, back to the things you cant run from. I’ll stay and fight.
I know there are many of you out there fighting the same battles. Several of you have reached out and spoken with me personally. I’ll remind you once again of the many resources available to us. Resources unique to “public safety”…. resources who understand who we are, where we came from and the challenges we face.
Behavioral Health issues … Grief, Stress, PTSD … issues unique and as personalized as those suffering through them. Issues all of us on the job have faced (most of us anyway). Here are some links for help. Links that will help you begin your journey … friends to guide you down the path… your start to the healing process.
“At an international conference on Friday, March 1, the NFFF (National Fallen Firefighters Foundation) introduced a new Behavioral Health Model that changes the way the fire service assists firefighters and others on the path to healing. It is based on the concept that no two firefighters will necessarily have the same reaction — not even to the same call”.
“Helping Firefighters Deal with Psychological Stress from Job’s Routine and Extraordinary Events”
Trust me Brothers and Sisters … USE THESE LINKS, the alternatives are NOT where we want to be. How well do you think you understand depression? Find out below …
I’ve talked about the stages of grief in a previous post titled “Melt Down”.
They are all experienced differently and in varying order but they are basically Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance, Pain & Guilt, and Reconstruction.
I’d say that the odds are that many of you know someone who is grieving. I’d also bet that you’re not sure what to say or how to act around them. Maybe this link will help ….
As for me, I’ve talked about not being able to eat or sleep. About not being able to keep anything down (on my stomach) and having an irritable bowel. I’ve shared being unfocused and distracted from rational thought, purpose or direction. What we don’t hear a lot about is where these things can lead when left untreated. Anger, the many forms of abuse … domestic, spousal and/or substance and even suicide .
There are many Brothers and Sisters out there battling Grief, Depression and/or PTSD that can’t see their way through or past their suffering. For many, suicide seems their only way “out”. Don’t stand idle and watch these Brothers and Sisters fall. Like many of you have done for me, YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE in their lives as well, in their healing process. Start talking about Behavioral Health in your Department (paid or volunteer, large or small). Use the links I’ve provided and look for more.
The recent events of my recovery are merely an expected bump in the road. I’ve known that a holiday, a random picture, odor, memory etc would bring back a flood of emotion. I’m still searching for my “new normal” and fighting my way back to where I want and need to be. I’ll get there. Thanks again for all the continued understanding and support. I’m still here. I know this is not the post you were hoping / looking for but it’s all I have right now.
Stay SAFE and in House!
Captain Wines
I hope everyone enjoyed their St Patrick’s Day weekend … I know I did.
Our Parade was held on Saturday but I was working. I had pulled my tour on Friday and then covered for Rhett until about 1pm on Saturday. I think he had some kind of dance class or something.
Time lapse video and more on Roanoke’s St Paddy’s Day Parade. Click HERE
It looks like I missed a good parade but I did make it downtown to raise a pint or two later that evening. I had a BLAST.
Most every bar / pub was full of Brother and Sister Firefighters. Salem, Roanoke County, Botetourt, Bedford and more …. the Valley’s Fire Service was represented well. I seen some really cool shirts and even a few kilts. I had some GREAT conversations and was able to see some Brothers I hadn’t in some time. It felt good to be “out” again.
A Brother from a nearby Department took the opportunity to ask for some of my thoughts concerning RIT / RIC (Rapid Intervention Teams / Crews). Apparently, this Brothers Department is putting together their first RIT “bag” and developing SOP’s / SOG’s concerning the formation and activation of RIC.
The hot topic quickly became how a RIC should be equipped…. what tools they should carry. More specifically, he wanted to know should the RIC have a charged hose line? My reply … NO.
There is a Department very close to me who’s SOP’s say that RIC must have a charged line but I disagree with that philosophy.
I reminded this Brother that the “R” in RIC stands for “Rapid”. Advancing a charged line will only slow the crew down.
An additional line(s) should be put into place in an effort to protect the downed firefighter(s) and the RIC but not by the RIC themselves. In addition, if there’s active fire; containment / extinguishment efforts should continue until all downed members are removed from the structure.
I explained that the tools etc they choose to carry should be dictated by the construction and type of structure involved in the fire (as well as by the number and skill level of members assigned to RIC). Yea … “skill level”. I don’t want a bunch of “yard breathers” or screw ups assigned as RIC. Think about it…. if you “go down”, who would you want coming to get you?
Anyway, it was a good conversation and I told him I’d put it out here to hopefully generate some additional comments. Leave us your thoughts / comments …. what tools do your RIC carry? Do they take a charged line?
Just in time for St Patrick’s Day, I received an AWESOME gift all the way from Ontario.
My good friend and Brother Mitchell Brown sent me this beer Stein!
Mitchell wrote me a little while back to ask if I drank beer …. LMAO ….yea! Next thing I know, I get a box in the mail.
You may know Mitchell or have seen some of his work on Face Book from over at “Smoke is Showing … Fire Ground Photography”. You can more of his photos on his web site by CLICKING HERE .
I also recently received the two framed pictures shown with the stein. Another good friend, Brother and GREAT photographer, Nate Camfiord sent them to me. Nate actually took the photo of me and Rhett (left) while Baron Mosley took the shot of me and Hunter of TEAM HUNTER. THANKS for thinking of me Brothers and for the AWESOME gifts!
I’ve actually been trying to get out of the house more and more each day.
A few weeks back, Rhett made the trek over the mountain and we paid a visit to my local VFD … Roanoke County Fire and Rescue Station #4
Firefighter (and Brother) Joe Francisco (2nd from right) has invited me out to the station on several occasions. For one reason or another, I haven’t been able to make it. I’m glad we made / took the time.
What a GREAT crew! These Brothers and Sisters meet at least once a week for some type of training and to eat together. Yea …. they cook and eat together on their training / duty night. BEAUTIFUL!
THANKS for the invite, the station tour and the Brotherhood shared that night. Thanks also for your dedication and service …. keep up the good work!
Speaking of Rhett, my little buddy / sidekick has apparently “caught feelings”. There’s actually a lot of that going around these days.
It seems as if a lone firefighter has messed up a “good thing” here in The Noke.
For some time now, Golds Gym has allowed our Firefighters to workout and use their facilities free of charge…. an AWESOME gesture that many of our members took full advantage of.
Indications are that a single member went overboard and abused Gold’s generosity. Rumor has it that this member was bringing multiple family members (or non-firefighter friends etc) to the gym under the free access. This lone member cost several others and Rhett is pissed!
“I only hope that I don’t find out who messed it up for us until after I cool off. Whoever it was just cost me about $400 a year. Not only that, but they gave me and my department a black mark.”
Read his entire post on the incident by clicking HERE.
For those of you who don’t know, Rhett has been on a strenuous workout and diet program for some time now. He’s bulking up for some kind of bikini contest or something that he entered with his wife (some details are in his post linked above).
It makes no sense to me. If I were him, instead of prancing around up on the stage in a speedo, flexing my muscles, I’d want to be out in the audience watching my wife.
I’d be sitting there with a beer when Becky comes out telling everyone “that’s my wife” and how I had to watch her try on 50 bikinis before she picked that one! LMAO
I also don’t understand all the fuss about Golds Gym. We have weights in the stations. Why can’t he just do like I do?
A few weeks on my routine and he could have a body like mine… yea … he could look this good too! LMAO
All kidding aside, Rhett has shown a level of focus, dedication and discipline that we all should have. He has not faltered or strayed (not even a single beer!).
His members were bragging to me just last Saturday how despite not eating with his members (being “in the kitchen”) due to his diet, he still cooks and runs the kitchen for them. He just has to prepare two meals vs one…. twice the work. That Brothers and Sisters is a good Officer (taking care of his members despite his needs / desires) … it’s Brotherhood and his members recognize and appreciate it.
He knows I’m just busting his balls a little with the jokes. I hope he knows how proud I am of his accomplishments and the example he’s setting for the rest of us (no matter the outcome of his bikini contest..LOL) … keep up the STRONG WORK Brother!
So there’s an attempt at an “old school” type of Ironfiremen.com post. Many of you have been missing and looking for em. Hope you enjoyed it … I’ll give ya more soon.
Stay SAFE and in House!
Captain Wines
Someone called me that the other day …. a “survivor” (as in a suicide survivor). I’ve never thought of it that way but it actually makes sense.
It’s been 75 days since my brother Jack made the decision to end his life and I’m still struggling through the loss. I’m still going through the grieving process and fighting depression.
I don’t know if I’m a “survivor” but I am surviving ….. day by day.
It’s been a rough few months and the past couple of weeks haven’t made it any easier. Two of my family members have had major surgeries or procedures and the LODD (Line Of Duty Death) of Scott Morrison on March 3rd hit close to home. Scott was a good friend and huge supporter… professionally and personally.
That word … “survivor” keeps popping up in my head…. I guess there are a lot of us.
Scott didn’t survive his fatal heart attack but his friends and family will.
There were (are) so many left behind that have to find a way to keep living… to keep moving forward with their lives despite their search for the answer to their question “why?”.
Scott is survived by a wife (Jessica) and two children (Kaitlyn and Sean). He is also survived by his Knotts Island Fire Department family (he was their Chief) as well as by “The Brotherhood”, and friends and family from all across the Nation. Scott left many survivors.
Rhett had some links and more on Scott’s death over on Fire Critic.com. Click HERE to read that post.
I didn’t attend the funeral. I had planned on it and intended to but I couldn’t. I couldn’t attend another funeral, see another casket or loved ones hurting. I wasn’t strong enough … I wish I was and regret not going.
Read Rhett’s post “Go to the funeral …You OWE it to them” from back in June 2011
I was already on the road the weekend of Scott’s funeral. I was in Charlottesville, Va at the University of Virginia Medical Center.
That Friday, my Senior Firefighter; “Boots” underwent some major surgery.
He’s actually been fighting for some time now. I haven’t talked about it here out of respect for his privacy but he’s given me permission to mention it now.
Boots had cancer …. now he doesn’t.
Now, he is a “SURVIVOR”.
With 25 years on the job, Boots is a GREAT Firefighter. More importantly he’s an even better person! He’s the type of man who is always giving and never taking. Always putting others first … never thinking of himself.
He didn’t deserve this battle but he’s quietly fighting it.
I’ve always known Boots was a fighter. I’ve always known he was strong … I just never realized how strong. Pushing down hallways or making rooms is one thing …. this is something different. Something much, much different.
They first tried radiation and he continued to report for duty. Many days, he left the station for his treatment and then returned for the remainder of the tour.
The radiation didn’t work and surgery was the only remaining option. On Friday, he spent over 5 hours in surgery. His recovery will be much longer.
For our local Brothers and Sisters, he is unable to accept calls at this times and is respectfully asking for no visitors. You can send him messages through any of my accounts (click for my e-mail or Face Book) and I will see to their delivery. If you’d like to send a card or something you can bring it by or mail it to the station (in attention to “Boots”) and I’ll get it to him. Message me here if you need the address or feel free to give me a call.
Tonight’s evening news reminded me of more survivors …. our Brothers and Sisters, as well as the many residents; of Breezy Point (and other areas affected by Super Storm Sandy).
These Brothers and Sisters not only lost $20,000 in band equipment, many lost their homes and personal belongings.
It’s not stopping them. They continue to play and will be on 5th Avenue tomorrow for the famed New York St. Patrick’s Day Parade. They too are “survivors” and they’re doing it so that others may too (survive).
“It’s good emotionally for us to be out there and get a sense of normalcy,” said Williams. “We’re still here. We’re still doing what we’re doing and we will get past this terrible devastation.” (a quote from Band founder and Pipe Major Terrence Williams at nydailynews.com)
Read the entire story from the Daily News by clicking HERE
I guess the point I wanted to make tonight is that there are “survivors” all around us. Many that we may have never noticed or thought of as survivors but they are there. I’m one of them. Despite my lack of postings / social media presence, I am surviving…. maybe you are too.
Instead of writing, I’ve spent the time with family (of course you … my readers / followers are family as well). I apologize for for not keeping you posted etc and want to thank all of you for the messages, e-mails etc sent checking on me.
Although I’ll never be the “same” again, I will find my “New Normal” . I’ve put my “boots” back on and now, I just need to get my focus back (click the bold quotations for previous related posts). I’m getting there. Thanks for hanging with and helping me throughout this journey…. I couldn’t do it without you!
Stay SAFE and in House ….
Captain Wines
For those of us “on the job”, it’s a fairly common term.
We use it when talking about forcing entry into a structure or cutting a ventilation hole in the roof. Sometimes it’s even used for vehicle extrication (using the “jaws of life” to cut open a car).
More often than not, it’s a “Truckie” term ( a firefighter assigned to a Ladder truck) although sometimes, due to today’s staffing issues; an Engine Company can be assigned these tasks.
I’ve been thinking about “opening up” and the various meanings of the term a lot here lately …. as related to the job and emotionally.
Today, I’m working an extra shift. I’m paying back a Brother (Tim Cady) who worked a day for me last week.
I’m pulling the tour at Station #1 (aka “The Big Show”) on A-shift. I’m riding the seat of the Ladder.
It’s a brand new Pierce, 100′ tiller and with a price tag of 1.2 million, she’s a sweet ride.
I spent my younger years in the Department assigned to a Ladder ….. it was good, honest work. I’ve learned a lot since then. Truck work made me a good fireman. I’d like to think I’m older and wiser now but some will argue that.
I’ve been assigned to an Engine Company since I made Captain back in 2000. On the Engine, I’m thinking about size ups, water supply and getting to the fire.
Riding the Ladder, my thought process has to change just a bit. Today, I’m thinking about placement, forcible entry, search, rescue, ventilation, salvage, overhaul and even extrication.
“Opening up” is a priority for me and the A-Shift crew today. Opening up so so the Engine guys can get on the fire. Opening up to ventilate. Opening up to make our searches or opening up vehicles for extrication purposes.
The rig I’m riding is perfect for the job. It’s a 1.2 million dollar tool box. Everything we need to do our job … to “open up” is stored away nice and neat inside her.
It sounds difficult but it’s not. It’s all we know … it’s what we do. The other type of opening up however … the emotional opening up … that’s not so easy.
My absence from postings and social media has been pretty obvious lately. In a recent post, “Climbing Out”; I shared with you that I am just reaching the “depression” stage of my grief (or PTSD) and it’s been a difficult journey.
The honest answer is that I just haven’t felt like writing. I still can’t seem to focus or get motivated.
I had the chance to travel up to Long Island New York last week for their Fire, Rescue and EMS Mega Show.
I got to spend the weekend with my MN8 FoxFire family. I call them “family” because they are … it was an easy decision to go.
I thought it would be “A Needed Distraction”.
In some ways, it was. I was hoping it would open some doors for me and it did …. it also slammed a few in my face.
Most of you know that Rhett (The Fire Critic) and I very seldom travel without the other but he was unable to make this trip.
Not wanting to drive alone, I figured I’d ask my sister, Marci; to tag along.
If nothing else, we’d get to spend the weekend together and that’s never a bad thing (or it shouldn’t be anyway). She was excited! We both were.
What I didn’t figure on was how emotionally difficult it would be for me (and maybe her too).
She reminds me so much of Jackson. I’ve never looked at or thought of her that way.
She looks like him. She acts like him. Her mannerisms. How she uses her hands when she talks, how she crosses her legs. How she talks. Little things but everywhere I looked, every time I turned around, she reminded me of Jackson and it breaks my heart. My stomach stayed in knots … that “sick” feeling all over again … the hurt.
I may have the same affect on her. Everyone always said that we all looked exactly alike (dad, me, Jack and Marci). I’m sure Dad sees Jack in us and I know it hurts. So here’s another door I’ll (we’ll) have to figure out how to “open up”. I’ve got to learn to be around things (including people / family) that remind me of Jack. I need to figure out how to make these “reminders” trigger the good memories and not rekindle my pain and sorrow.
I’m not sure how to do it. How to open this door.
I don’t think it’s one that can be “forced”. I think I’ve been doing too much of that lately … “forcing” the issues.
Today is two months since Jack took his life. Everyone is still asking “how” I am … how I’m “doing”.
My reply has become standard … what everyone wants to hear. I’m “ok”. I’m “hanging in”. Making it “day by day” or “one step at a time”.
I’m not so sure that’s 100% true. Click that photo to the left. Do you ever hide your true emotions with replies like that? Are you telling those around you what they “want to hear” or how you’re truly feeling?
I have to admit again that “opening up” here on the blog (as difficult as it has been to do) has been therapeutic. I think it’s been my best therapy so far. I wasn’t so sure in the beginning.
“Opening up” for all my readers to see was a huge decision for me. I wasn’t sure I even could (or should for that matter). I’m glad I have.
While in Long Island (and many times before, via e-mails etc) several Brothers and Sisters approached me with not only sympathy and condolences, but with THANKS as well. They actually thanked me for sharing my story. I don’t think I was expecting that.
Some say it’s uplifting, a source of inspiration and that it’s even helped them through their own struggles with grief. Others say they miss the “old Willie” and that they are patiently awaiting the return of my “regular” postings while they understand and support my latest directions.
I met several GREAT Brothers and Sisters while in Long Island but one in particular will always stand out in my mind.
A true BROTHER and Captain Daniel Purcell of the Scarsdale Fire Department paid me a VERY special visit. He said he has been following my site (and Rhett’s) for a while now. When he seen I would be in Long Island, he had to come meet me.
We had a GREAT conversation. I wont share the details but it was very humbling. He brought gifts and even asked about the Buckaroo. I don’t think he was even interested in the show …. just delivering his message to me. THANKS AGAIN CAPT ! I hope you know how much that visit meant to me.
If it helps you to know, I’m not the only one talking about stress and “Behavioral Health” these days. “At an international conference on Friday, March 1, the NFFF introduced a new Behavioral Health Model that changes the way the fire service assists firefighters and others on the path to healing. It is based on the concept that no two firefighters will necessarily have the same reaction — not even to the same call”.
Learn more about what they’re doing / saying in the links below ….
And once again I’ll add my standard links / resources for grief, stress and PTSD …
Stay SAFE and in House!
Captain Wines
.
I’m gonna try getting out again for a little while. I’ll be heading North to attend the Long Island Fire, Rescue and EMS Mega Show on Feb 23rd and 24th. I think it will make for the perfect “distraction” from everything else going on in my life.
I’ll be up there with my MN8 FoxFire family working the booth. I’m not sure what our booth “number” is but we’re never hard to find. We’re the guys with the “glow in the dark” stuff and there’s usually a huge crowd gathered around …. look for us and stop by to say hello if you’re at the show.
I feel like it’s going to be a good trip…. I know it’s a much needed one for me.
As far as the show / booth goes, we’re bringing some new products with us…. our newest actually.
MN8 FoxFire has started making 1 x 3 inch helmet “bars” (as opposed to tetrahedrons) for those of you not wearing a leather helmet (of course we’ll have plenty of our tetrahedrons available as well).
In true firefighter fashion, the bars have proven to be useful in other applications as well …. be sure to drop by and check em out…. I know you’ll love em!
We’ll have all of our other great products on hand as well …. Helmet Bands, Equipment bands, Grip Wrap, Epoxy, Tee-shirts, hats etc. and I’ll be on hand to give ya a personal demo. If you’re not familiar with our Products, visit our Web Site HERE or find and follow us on Face Book HERE .
We’re also going to have a special guest / visitor in the booth with us this weekend. My little sister, Marci; is gonna make the ride up with me !
EASY fellas…. EASY. Like I said … she’s my SISTER.
I’m not gonna call her a “booth babe” but she will be hanging out at the show with us. Be sure to to say hello and give her a chance to tell ya how awesome she thinks our product and the entire MN8 FoxFire team is.
We’ll be leaving out first thing in the morning (Thursday) and arriving in Long Island sometime late evening.
Our travel route will take us straight up I-81 from Roanoke to I-78 to I95 and the Lincoln Tunnel (most likely). If you’re on the way and wouldn’t mind a visit, just let me know … we LOVE stopping by and visiting Firehouses when we travel (who knows, you may even make the pages of Ironfiremen.com). Marci and I both will be checking and updating Face Book as we travel so hit us up if you want us to drop by and / or meet up.
We’ll be staying at the Sheraton on Motor Parkway in Hauppauge, Long Island. We’ll be looking for something to “get into” so if you’re close by or have any good suggestions, let us know. I know we’ll head into the City on Friday sometime (or maybe just one evening) but we’re flexable.
I think this trip will be just what I need to get back in the swing of things.
It’s gonna feel good to be back in New York, in my kilt and working. I’m excited! Hell, just being able to wear my kilt will make the trip worth while (of course I’ll wear my kilt ANYWHERE).
Wearing it around the farm draws too much attention (it distracts the cows …LOL). I had the chance to slide back into it down in Florida for 2013 Fire / Rescue East but I really wasn’t “there” yet. This trip feels more “normal” … like it should be.
The only thing that will be missing on this trip will be my “little buddy” …. the “Buckaroo #2″ … aka Rhett Fleitz (The Fire Critic). Yea …. once again, Rhett will be unable to make the trip. He’s afraid the hotels gym wont meet his needs / specs.
I’ve nicknamed him “WTA” (While Tony Atlas).
You see, Rhett’s been on a STRICT diet and workout program lately …. he’s “bulking up”.
He’s been drinking all the “muscle juice” he can find. Eating egg whites laid by a hen with only 3 tail feathers who sits on her nest facing east.
For lunch, the leaf of lettuce in his salads was grown on a glacier at the base of Mount Everest.
For dinner, a single green bean, uncooked and grown in only the purest of soils.
For desert, he can down a 12 pack of creamy, delicious probiotic Activia yogurt faster than the cookie monster can eat a sleeve of Chips Ahoy. Of course he can “snack” on protein bars and such as long as he just eats the cardboard wrapper they’re contained in.
You see, Rhett in preparing to enter his 1st bikini contest …. no kidding ! A BIKINI CONTEST!
His wife Becky has been training for over a year now to participate in her first fitness / figure / bikini contest. She doesn’t need the training … she’s already HOT (blind … but HOT ..LOL). Well, Rhett decided he’d support her by being be her side in her endeavor … as in RIGHT by her side.
He wrote about it in a post titled ”THE CHANGE BEGINS – TRAINING AND DIETING FOR A GOAL“
In all seriousness, Rhett’s been VERY disciplined in sticking to his diet / workout.
He’s sticking to it and it’s paying off …. HE LOOKS GREAT (although still not as good as Becky).
What he doesn’t realize is that like everything else in his life, he STILL wont surpass Dave Statter!
As hard as Rhett is trying, Dave does double the effort by accident. It just come natural to him and once again, “Fire Boy” is left playing “catch up”.
LMAO …. all kidding aside, Rhett has some family obligations keeping him from making this trip. We have PLENTY more scheduled for 2013 so it wont be long before we’re back on the road, together again.
So, I’ll try to keep ya posted as much as possible throughout the weekend. Once again, if you’re on our route or will be attending the show, be sure to let me know so we can meet up. Until I get back to ya ….
Stay SAFE and in House!
Captain Wines
.
The good news is that I’m back in my “boots”. I’m back in bunker gear and pulling regular tours.
The bad news is that I’m still not 100% and I know I never will be again. I’m still working through the grieving process and searching for my “new normal” (read my previous post “Searching for a New Normal” by clicking HERE) .
In another previous post (“Melt Down”) , I told ya about the “stages of grief” and how grief is as individual as the person suffering through it. We don’t necessarily go through the stages in order and by no means in the same way.
I’m currently working through the “depression” stage (and, I believe; suffering through PTSD).
I was expecting it but have never fully understood exactly what “depression” was. I’m learning the hard way.
My thoughts continue to wonder with every waking moment and it’s difficult for me to focus.
I still can’t eat. I just don’t have an appetite … I’m not hungry. When I try to force myself to eat, I throw it back up so I figure why bother.
I’m sleeping some at night now but I’m not REALLY “sleeping”. I’m tired all the time and can’t motivate myself to get out and do anything. I try to make myself go “somewhere” or do “something” but I don’t. I know I need to.
I haven’t even been able to write (evident in my recent lack of postings and absence from Face Book).
I’m not getting along well with others … I just want to be alone.
All these things seem so petty and easy to fix but they’re not.
That’s the hardest part for me. I know what’s happening and what I need to do ….. I just can’t muster the energy or motivation to get it done.
I have to start climbing my way out of this hole … I thought I have been but it doesn’t feel like I’m making much progress. I can’t stay here (like this) forever.
One of the folks I’ve been seeing offered a prescription for anti-depressants. It’s not for me. There’s a small part of me that almost took her up on it just so I could learn for myself (and share with you folks) if they (the pills) “really” work or not. Unfortunately, I’m not the “pill” taking kind ( I hardly even even take an aspirin) so I won’t be able to tell you “first hand” about anti-depressants. I can tell you that depression is REAL . It’s an illness that can be crippling.
I see a lot of it in the firehouse for one reason or another. Not just in situations like mine (the loss of a loved one) but also over financial issues, marital problems etc. If you want to learn more about depression and take your “Depression IQ quiz”, take a minute and CLICK HERE .
The best thing for me has been talking about it. Getting “it” out of my head and off my chest. I’ve wrote about them a lot here lately but once again, I want to share with you some folks who you CAN TALK TO. People who understand and that do MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
These folks are not just for you or me either. They are there for our Brothers and Sisters as well and it’s up to us to let them know that help is available. PAY ATTENTION … look around you. If someone in your company, your Battalion, Department or whatever is needing help, point them in this direction. You know … firefighter “so and so” whos wife just left him. Ol “what’s his name” from Engine whatever who just took a 3rd mortgage out because he lost his 2nd job. That S.O.B on the Ladder who we all know has been drinking too much …. all these Brothers have someone to turn to. Let them know before it’s too late. Here are the links ….
I had a bad day yesterday. Like most everyday, there’s always something that will remind me of Jackson.
I pulled a tour Saturday (we work 24hr shifts) and when I got home yesterday morning, the Buckaroo was waiting for me. It was 8am , he missed his “Paw-Paw” and wanted to play.
He got his motorcycle toy out. It’s like the old Evil Knievel wind up toy. If you’re a boy and anywhere near my age (44), I’d bet you had one.
I showed him how to use some books / magazines to make a ramp so we could make some jumps down the hallway. It was just how me and Jack did it when we were kids.
I could see us like it was just yesterday. Then the thought hit me (as it always does in situations like this) …. I wanted to call Jackson and tell him what we were doing. He would LOVE it! Knowing that me and the Buckaroo were doing exactly what he and I did as kids. I know he’d remember our ramps … our jumps…. fighting over who went next…. he’d understand and know EXACTLY what we were feeling / doing. He’d have that unforgettable smile on his face just thinking about it.
I’ll never get to make “those” calls again … not to Jackson and it’s killing me. This grief … the depression…. it keeps knocking me down but I won’t let it keep me here.
Like I said in the beginning of this post, I have to start climbing my way out of this hole.
“CLIMBING”…… Seems I wrote about that one time …. back in July of 2011 actually in a post titled “We are all Climbing” (Take the time to hit the link and read that post … I think you’ll find it worthwhile). Stairs, ladders or whatever obstacle, it seems we all are indeed “climbing”.
Me? I’m gonna find my way out …. I’m gonna find that “new normal” because I’m going to keep climbing …. it’s all I know to do.
I’m gonna start by getting out of town again. I’m going to head up north and spend a little time in NYC and out on Long Island.
I’m going to attend the Long Island Fire, Rescue and EMS Mega Show on Feb. 23rd / 24th. I’ll be working the booth with my MN8 FoxFire family but I’ll also be doing what I love best … meeting, spending time with and talking to all the Brothers and Sisters in attendance. I think it will be just what I need to get “moving” again …. to “re-engage” and get “back in the game”.
I’ll get ya more details in the next day or so …. until then, thanks again for all the support. Thanks too for allowing me to share all of this with you …. I LOVE YA ALL!
Stay SAFE and in House!
Captain Wines
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