Years ago, there was a web site around town here. The site was called the “Rumor Mill”. It was a little ahead of it’s time … it got a LOT of traffic. It caused a ton of controversy … the writers spoke of political issues, departmental woes and for the most part gave their opinion. Needless to say, feelings were hurt. Most every user on the site worked for or around here and all posted anonymously. Everyone tried to guess and figure out who “this” or “that” was but only the true authors really knew.
One of the Authors used the screen name “Doctor Seuss”. His postings rhymed and for the most part were often quite funny. I enjoyed and looked forward to his point of view and made it a point not to miss a post. Being on duty tonight got me thinking back to his rendition of ”Twas a night before Christmas” . I found it and thought I’d share it with you folks ….** WARNING** it’s somewhat “adult” oriented …. here it is…
“T’was the night before Christmas and a week before the New Year.
I’m stuck at the station, thinking of midget girls in thigh highs, tall totties, nachos and cold beer.
My night boots and coat by the Engine with care,
With hopes that 3 dancing girls will soon be here.
The Engine crew all nestled and snug in their beds.
Softly inhaling the diesel soot lingering about their heads.
The Capt in his leather helmet and my do-rag in place,
The rookie unlocked the back door and pulled the blinds, …(wink wink) just in case.
Then box 69 hit and the red phone rang.
Off our butts, out of bed and to our feet we sprang.
We ran to the hole to slide to the bay.
But we couldn’t slide the pole, someone was in the way.
And what would you think to our old tired eyes would appear?
Yep! It was Jenna Jamison, 6 midget gals, a case of Crown, pack of bologna, a gallon of cool-aid, a bag of chips some french fried potatoes and a case of cold beer!
Oh what a show, Jenna and her 6 midgets… prancing and pole dancing each flexible, nimble and quick.
Our Lt screamed “ladder up boys” pulling at his crotch and licking his lips.
Jenna in a g-strings, thigh highs, and a pair of porn shoes with a 12 inch heel
I had to pinch myself, and ask the Captain .. Is this actually real?
He answered the question with a nod and a grin
He’d seen this show before although I’m not sure just where or when.
And just like ol Santa, Jenna brought a bag of toys
But she quickly warned “Elf operation” only… “stand back boys”
The vision of them playing, Jenna’s arched back, 44 trip D’s and a flat little belly
My mouth grew too dry to spit and there I stood, nervous and fresh out of K-Y jelly!
I used some quick goat thinking and called out her name
Jenna! Jenna! “Ever seen a naked fireman?” “Put me in the game!”
The show stopped there and they went to work on the job at hand
It’s Christmas night and packages need to be delivered all over this great land
So they filled our boots with goodies, snack foods, hot wings and beer
A blow up doll for “Goat breath” and a rubber toy for Scott Mutter, the station queer
When she finished unpacking and her work seemed done
She called to the midgets
“Pimp in distress!” Come on girls, “We’ve got another run!”
The doors slung open and they loaded into a quint
It happened so fast, I wasn’t sure which way they went.
But she keyed the radio as they drove from our sight
Bless you for working the Holidays!
Merry Christmas and have a SAFE NIGHT! ”
LMAO! Stay safe and in house…