We fly out tomorrow morning. Those of you who know me are aware that I don’t get out or away from the farm much so I’m pretty excited about our trip. Knowing my inexperience in these matters, Rhett called earlier today to check on me.
Rhett: Hey Capt. How’s it going? You excited? Need anything or are you even packed yet?
Me: Packed yet?? You gotta be kidding me! I’ve been building rolls and packing for a week now. Not to mention getting the mules ready.
Rhett: Mules?? What exactly are you up to now??
Then I explained the process…. no spur of the moment job by any means..
Rhett: You really are an idiot! Don’t you have a suit case?
Me: Sure I have a suitcase but how in the heck will I get all this stuff in it?
After I piled all my cloths in it, the top wouldn’t close.
Rhett: Have someone sit on it until you can get it zipped… GEESH!
Me: Ok, but what if someone can see or gosh forbid steal my undies?
Rhett: How can anyone see your undies if they’re in a suitcase?
I explained the over stuffed travel satchel then continued..
Me: Plus, now they have all those fancy, high tech x-ray scanner thingy machines at the airport. Rumor has it they can see EVERYTHING!
Note: I’m in neither of the last two pics but sure hope that gal in the bottom one is in the line in front of me and the conversation continued..
Me: I am a little worried about the scans and searches… you know I stand out and get picked every time. That said, I have developed a plan..
Me: PLUS.. I bought a book and have been reading up on such activities..
Rhett: (while laughing) Look.. I told you that instead of driving the “Cowboy Cadillac” I would use my vast resources and find us a really good deal. I did just that! We are flying out of Lynchburg and they most likely don’t even have the scanners etc. so you have nothing to worry about.
Me: Lynchburg??? Your “vast” resources??? REALLY good deal?? Hummmm. So, what kind of plane are we taking? Do they show movies? Have dancing gals or serve in flight beer?
Rhett: Trust me Capt… Top of the line.. first class all the way.
(what else would you expect out of Lynchburg @ $29.95 each way??)
Rhett: You are getting worried and all worked up for nothing.
Me: You mean you’re not?
Rhett: Why would I be??
Me: Well, what about you getting past security? What if they have those signs like they do at the carnival??
Me: The only way we’re slipping past this one is with you in a 8 inch pair of high heels or if the people in Lynchburg are as backwards as I think they are..
Rhett: Relax… we’ll do fine with the flight.
Me: I hope so cause I’ve been planning our activities for a week now.
Rhett; Planning? What have you been up to now?
Me: Moi?? Nothing special. Just been using my extra special, high tech, one of a kind, make ya have a really good time, above normal senses.
Rhett: Your what??
Me: My.. errrrr… ummmm well, it’s like radar only more like NUDAR!
Rhett: Are you out of your mind!?! Becky will kill me… hell, she’ll kill us BOTH!
Me: Rhett, listen to me… I’m not talking one of those sleezy joints with naked gals and such… I’m talking first class here.. a place for “gentlemen”
Me: Wasn’t it you who told me just the other day about packing my football pads and getting some new fancy type of britches? You said no jeans or cowboy hats. We will be “rubbing elbows” (so I read between the lines and packed my pads)with some pretty important people up there. The everyday attire will be “slacks” and a nice shirt.
“SLACKS”??? WTF! What is a “slack” anyway? I spent most of the day shopping in Blacksburg and I couldn’t fine a “Slack” store or department ANYWHERE! Is that some kind of “Yankee” term or what? And like I dont have nice cloths? Well I’ll have you know that since I couldn’t find a “slack” store, I went to the golf shop.
Rhett: Why go to the golf shop?
Me: Well, I figured John Daley is on TV and famous and all, so I’d just pick up a little something from his line..he’s always wearing nice britches and all.. oh yea.. Capt gonna have his “bling” on in Chicago.. Look out ladies!
Hell, I even took a bath…
Chicago will never be the same! We’re there tomorrow, look for us at the Fire Rescue Magizine booth, hit me on my cell or in the comment section here to hook up. We have plans to catch a ball game, hit a few stations and who knows what else… See ya there, until then stay safe and in house.
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